Spark A Flame
by dcdomain6
Summary: Sequel to Becoming Fire. Less than two months have passed since the attack on Abnegation. Now, Audrey must help lead the city as the factionless protest their place in society. As the life around her changes, will she be able to sustain it? She is fire, but will the flame within her grow or burn itself out? I don't own anything, please don't sue. Eric/OC. Temp. discontinued
1. Chapter 1

A little under two months have passed since the Erudite tried to wipe out Abnegation. Now, we're slowly rebuilding what was broken and fixing our city. The city council has also been changed. It is no longer just fifty Abnegation members. It is now two houses: the lower house run by the leaders of the factions and the upper house of Abnegation; that was the one thing the other factions demanded that coincided with the Erudite's philosophy. The Abnegation were reluctant, but gave in. Now, I have to go to one of the meetings and I sincerely don't want to; staying in bed right now seems so enticing. The very thought of them, bringing about a feeling of queasiness I've become familiar with since they've begun. But I know I have to get up or else I won't make it there on time. I start to move out of the bed, removing Eric's arm from around my waist. He stirs a bit.

"Morning," I say, giving him a kiss. He takes the opportunity to wrap me in his arms all over again.

"Morning Audrey," he says, "Do you have to get up so early?" He should know better than me about having to get up early, having been a leader. But that's not his life anymore, now he's up early only to go run and train for an upcoming fight.

"Yes, I do. And you should, too." He sighs and rolls out of bed and we both get ready for the day. I head over to the kitchen and start up breakfast; it's nice to cook every once in a while.

"Like I said before, perfect maid," Eric says, coming up behind me and kissing me.

"Shut up before I burn yours," I say, placing some bacon on a plate. I bring some bacon, eggs, and toast over to the table. I don't know why, but there's a sort of satisfaction I get when I see him eat my food and love it. Like it's some sort of personal victory. But as I eat, I can't help but feel that there's something wrong with the food; it doesn't taste right.

"Does the food taste okay?"

"I'm eating as much as I can, aren't I?" Well, he is grabbing all the food.

"It doesn't taste right…" I wonder if it's past the date.

"Well, I just bought it and you're a great cook. Maybe your taste buds are messed up." I eat as much as I can make myself and Eric clears up the dishes afterwards.

"Who should be a maid?" I give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Be quiet," he says before kissing me back. We both head to the door.

"I'll see you tonight," Eric says. I refuse to miss any of his fights, so it would look bad if I missed the first.

"Of course," I say and kiss him one last time before heading to the trains to get to the meeting. They're held in the Hub. I jump from the train in front of the towering structure and head up the elevator; the stairs are only fun when you're running down them.

"So, has anyone come up with a new idea to deal with our little problem with the factionless," I say, opening the topic for what feels like the thousandth time. We've been bickering for an eternity; no wonder I've grown physically ill from these things. I never expected being a Dauntless leader to come with so much arguing; at least with words, fists I would welcome at this point.

"I wouldn't call the problem little," Jack Kang says, "They've been extremely vocal and harassing citizens."

"They wouldn't be like this if we treated them better; gave them more opportunity," Andrew Prior says.

"I agree," Johanna says, "If we want peace, we have to reach terms with them. A better place in society isn't so hard."

"But it's difficult to put into practice," Cara says, "How will we provide for all of them? Where will we draw our lines in the sand?"

"Given the recent upheavals, I think at least restoring the police force is necessary," I say, "If they're causing problems, we can't just stand by."

"They are people, too," Andrew says, "We can't treat them like animals."

"We won't be," I say, "This won't be like before; we won't punish them for existing. But if people really are being attacked on the street, factionless or not, we need to make it stop."

"Seems reasonable," Cara says, "It certainly wouldn't hurt."

"If it'll help prevent the fighting, I see no reason to stand in the way," Johanna says.

"Well, that's already a majority, but I'll give my agreement," Jack says.

"Fine," Andrew says, "We'll raise the motion to the Upper House." That means that it is basically passed. The Abnegation seldom say no to what we propose.

"Can we come to any other agreements?" Johanna asks.

"I think we can consider one of their demands," I say, "The one about including factionless children in schooling and the Choosing Ceremony. They should not be forgotten just because of their birth."

"That's the minority," Jack says, "The rest want to split from us completely."

"Well, we can't lose them as citizens, but they won't stay if we continue to treat them like we do," I say, "We can give in to the small stuff; plus, the section lobbying for it has been peaceful so far."

"Knowledge should be spread," Cara says, "I approve. But it will be difficult to get any to attend."

"We can leave it up to the parents," Johanna says, "They can decide whether or not their child goes."

"We've lost sight of the main issue," Jack says, "But it's obvious all of you would rather avoid it. I agree, then. Give the factionless children an education and let them take part in the Choosing Ceremony. No one cares where someone came from once they join a faction, anyway."

"I'll be glad to approve this as well," Andrew says, "We'll get the other house's approval. Otherwise, it's growing late. The meeting will be adjourned. Until next week." We all get up and I head straight for the stairs. I fly down them and find that I feel winded at the bottom; I wonder if I've just been sitting for too long. I haven't had a chance to work out as much either; being a leader uses up so much time, I can't go to the training room as often as I did during Initiation. I'm still trimmed, but I've begun to gain a little weight. It's currently unnoticeable, but if I keep this up, it will be. I'm paying through tighter pants, now, I don't want to know what will happen later. I sprint over to the train; if I'm going to start working out more, now's as good a time to start as any. After hopping off, I run to the apartment and find it empty. Of course it would be; Eric must be preparing for the fight tonight. I change into shorts and a sports bra and go over to the Training Room. I still have quite a bit of time before the fight this evening and I intend to use it well.

Satisfied with the sweat pouring down my face, I go back to the apartment to change. I'm still a little disappointed though, my stamina has decreased recently. Then again, not working out for ten hours a day anymore must have something to do with it. I just shower and change into my favorite dress. It was a gift from Eric; a strapless black dress, tight with lace accents and a tulle accented skirt. I throw on a pair of lace tights and pumps to go with it. My make-up is a little simpler than Christina's work, but still endows my eyes with some flame; a combination of orange and yellow, the same as my lips. Tonight may be Eric's fight, but each fighter's women have their own against each other; each is a representative of her man's pride and she makes sure to show it. I head over to the Dining Hall; I should grab something small. I'll grow weak if I don't eat at all. I grab the lightest foods I can and head over to the table. I sit and immediately, Christina turns to me.

"Notice anything different," she says, adjusting her hair with her left hand. I notice a silver ring with a large diamond and I'm filled with delight. But across the table, I can see Uriah shake his head and put a finger to his lips as everyone else smirks.

"No, I'm not sure." Christina pouts and makes a show of passing me salt with her left hand.

"Are you sure?" She leans on her left hand, so the ring is facing me. Suddenly, Coraline sits down.

"Hey, what're we—OH MY GOD! Christina, is that what I think it is?!" Christina shrieks with happiness and everyone else starts laughing.

"You ruined it!" Uriah shouts, through his laughter.

"You guys are terrible!" Christina yells, "I'm putting all of you at the back of the wedding."

"Even me?" Tris asks with a playful pout.

"No, it's too late for me to find another best friend to be the maid of honor," Christina says with a smile.

"How'd he ask?" I want all the details.

"He asked me this morning," Christina says, "He had me go with him to the train tracks, because he said he had to leave early for ambassador stuff and wanted to have me see him off. He actually set up a picnic where we had our first kiss. It was so wonderful, he even had rose petals there! I don't even know how he got those! So, after we ate, he talked about how much we've been through, both during initiation and with the war. And how he realized during both that he never wants to lose me, so he brought out the ring and I said yes." Christina is positively glowing with happiness at this point.

"And where's the lucky guy?" Marlene asks.

"He really did have ambassador stuff," Christina says with a laugh.

"Then we'll have to celebrate when he gets back," Uriah says.

"I'm really happy for you two," I say, "But I'm going to go now. The fight and all."

"Thanks," Christina says, "And you know, we'll need a DJ for the wedding." She grins and laughs.

"I'd be honored to spin for you guys." And I stand and head over to the glass room where the fights are held. I can't help but think about the topic of marriage. It's never really come up with Eric and I. We're already living together, sleeping together, and just being together. But having something to solidify it seems so enticing. I wonder if he'd agree. He doesn't really like labels, but I want something that says we're together. And maybe someday, we can make it an official family. But he's never shown any proximity towards those things; I wonder how exactly he feels about them.

I try to push these thoughts from my mind as I head ever higher along with a bunch of other Dauntless who are heading up as well. Once I'm in the glass room, I head over to my reserved seat right by Eric's corner. The ring is an octagon-shaped cage; something our ancestors designed long ago. But their fights were different; divided by weight-class. We don't anymore; anyone has a chance against anyone else. But we still use tiers; a fighter can challenge to a higher tier or challenge on their same level. Otherwise, the rules are mostly the same as those our ancestors used. To keep it short, no dirty fighting and protection for the hands, mouth, and groin is required to prevent injury to yourself and your opponent.

Today, Eric's fight is to move into the highest tier, which is why it's last. He may have only just started, but with the skill he came in with, he was placed high. I watch as the fight before his wraps up. It's a female fighter who's been moving up very quickly; Jaya I think her name was. Her opponent is Quill, a male who's bigger than her, but to his disadvantage it seems. He can't catch Jaya at all as she dances around him throwing hits. Eventually, he lunges at her and she jumps and kicks his head; he falls forward and doesn't get up. The referee calls the fight and Jaya is victorious. She lifts her arms, her dark skin bathed in sweat, taking in the roar of the crowd that is building. She exits and Quill is carried out of the ring, to be transported to the hospital. The matt is cleaned and I lean forward in anticipation of the fight I've been waiting for. I hear Eric's music play and out he strides, as confident as ever into the ring. The crowd roars their approval. Then, the music switches and his opponent, Orion, comes out and goes into the ring. He's a head taller than Eric and very muscular; he'll have more power, but Eric will be faster. The announcer raises his hands for everyone to settle down.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the fight everyone's been waiting for. In the blue corner, with a background in muay thai and BJJ, he stands 6'1", weighing in at 165lbs, in his debut match, our challenger, Eric!" Eric smirks and waves to the crowd; their dislike has turned into respect and even admiration after his Punishment.

"And in the red corner, with a background in kickboxing, BJJ, and wrestling, he stands at a towering 6'8", weighing in at 215lbs, with a record of 7-3, the Warrior himself, Orion!" The crowd screams his name and Orion smiles to them all.

"Referee in charge, Rick!" The referee turns to Eric and Orion in turn and they each nod to show they're ready. The bell rings and they both start to circle each other. We don't stop for rounds; the only way there'll be a pause is if the referee decides a rule has been broken.

Eric throws the first hit, but Orion is able to stop it well before it reaches him. Orion is going to have the advantage when it comes to distance; Eric will have to find some way to close the gap. Orion starts throwing kick, which Eric deflects, when Orion comes in and throws a punch. Eric moves out of the way and throws an elbow to Orion, which catches him in the jaw. The crowd screams as Orion backs up and smiles a bloody smile. He comes in throwing punches as Eric dodges until one catches his cheek and he's knocked backward into the cage. Orion closes in, lifts Eric, and slams him backwards, but Eric pulls up his legs and uses both of them to kick Orion in the chest, forcing him back as Eric darts from the cage. The two start circling again when Orion rushes in with another punch. Eric rushes in as well, going to Orion's center, and throwing a wound-up right straight into Orion's stomach. Eric uses Orion's forward momentum to pull him down for a knee. But Orion seems to still have most of his senses; he grabs hold of Eric and throws him onto the ground, taking mount. He begins throwing punches to Eric's head, but he doesn't pay enough attention to his posture. Orion starts leaning and Eric flips him over so he's in Orion's guard instead. Eric doesn't make the mistake of pressing the attack; he focuses on leaving the guard instead. Orion doesn't seem to like the position either, because he drops his legs, pushes them against Eric to gain distance, and stands up. Orion and Eric are both on their feet again and the dance continues. They both come at each other, throwing punches, until Eric manages to move around Orion and take his back. Eric trips Orion forward and hops on his back, breaking Orion to the floor and working on a rear naked choke while throwing punches to the back of Orion's head. Orion tries to posture up, but Eric's vined his legs; he won't have enough mobility. He eventually collapses, succumbing to the choke. The fight ends and Eric is up while the referee wakes up Orion. He stands and shakes hands with Eric before they both go to the center of the ring.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it one more time for this pair of astounding warriors! Now, your winner by submission, Eric!" The ref lifts Eric's arm and Eric just smiles the whole time as the crowd cheers for him. It takes a while before Eric is finally able to leave the ring and go to me. He kisses me, lifting me in a sweaty embrace, which I don't mind; I actually like seeing him like this. Shirtless and smelling of guy.

"What'd you think?" he asks, still holding me up.

"That I hope you're not too tired." I say smirking. He just smiles back and kisses me again as we head out of the Pit and over to our apartment. We're both young, we have plenty of time for things like marriage and families. I don't need to bring it up just yet. I'd rather relish in the joys of now.

**A/N: Alright, first chapter is up! It's long since I've been writing it since yesterday. I'll try to do daily updates like I did before, but I am back at university now, so it may sometimes be difficult. However, I will persevere! Hope everyone enjoys it ^_^**


	2. Chapter 2

I wake in the morning feeling sick. I really have to stop stressing so much about leadership; it's destroying my body. I dash out of bed and to the bathroom; I hear Eric get up and follow me in, holding my hair for me.

"You know I don't want you in hear," I say, catching my breath, "I'm gross right now."

"No, you're sick and I'm taking care of you," he says, "Are you sure you haven't come down with something?"

"I'm just sick and tired from leadership," I say, "Literally and figuratively. I'll get over it once most everything is back to normal." I clean myself up in the sink while Eric comes back with a pill and a glass of water.

"Take it and drink," he says, kissing my forehead; I could get used to this kind of treatment if it didn't require illness.

"Thank you." I take the pill and wash it down with the water; the coolness makes my throat feel better.

"You know, you should stay home today." He always says this and my response is always the same.

"You know I can't. I have a meeting with the rest of the leaders."

"Fine, but afterwards, take it easy. And I'll make breakfast today." Eric heads over the kitchen, but I rush to stop him. His last few breakfast attempts have all ended in fires and/or exploding food. Yet he somehow manages to cook meat perfectly fine; I'll never understand it.

"No, it's fine. If you want me to take it easy, let's go to the Dining Hall. That way, neither of us have to do anything."

"Alright, let's get dressed, then." I go to get dressed with Eric only to find the shirt I want doesn't fit right.

"Eric, I think I'm getting fat."

"There is no right answer to this…"

"I mean it, my shirt doesn't feel right."

"Well, these have gotten bigger, I think," he says, grabbing my chest from behind as I shriek. He laughs it off; he's even worse than Coraline.

"It's not funny, even my pants are getting tighter!" The waist is barely closes; I'm going to only be able to wear my skirts soon.

"You're fine. You have a curvy body that I love." He kisses me as his hands move along me.

"We're getting dressed, remember?" I move out of his hold to finish getting dressed as we walk together to the Dining Hall. As soon as I'm inside, I can smell the banana nut muffins and I have to eat them all. I beeline over there and stack my plate full of them; these are the only things I need. Eric just looks at me like I've gone insane, but he doesn't ask questions. These muffins are easily my favorite food, somehow above Dauntless cake; it must be because they're just like my mom's pancakes. At the table, we find that Christina has taken over one whole section with notebooks and pictures; they're filled with wedding dresses, bouquets, gowns, and everything wedding related. Will just sits next to her with his arm around her, nodding to whatever she says; it's obvious he doesn't know what's going on, but he's still trying, anyway.

"Audrey, you're here today!" Christina yells, "I was just thinking about you. I'm going to have you as a bridesmaid, but I'm trying to find just the right style for you. Also, what do you think of having an up-do? Oh, and it needs to complement your eyes. What of these is better?" She rapid fires the whole sentence and I glance over at the two magazines she's pointing to, each showing almost identical dresses. I just nod; whatever she picks out, I'm sure it'll be fantastic.

"They're both gorgeous, Christina," I say, "And thanks for making me a bridesmaid and DJ." She just sighs and goes back to flipping through the magazines.

"Eric, you're walking with Audrey," Chrisina says without looking up.

"How did I get caught in this?"

"Well, Audrey needs someone to walk with and maybe, just maybe, I've gotten over the chasm thing. Just don't pull anything like that again. Anyway, you tend to think better of people after you willingly risk your life for the same thing."

"I'm showing up and that's it." He turns from Christina, but I smile at him and his blush; he's really so shy even if he doesn't say it.

"That's all I trust you to do. Anyway, Coraline, I need someone with an actual opinion on fashion. And we can find your dress while we're at it." Coraline heads over to Christina's claimed territory and begins to flip through the magazines as well. She and Christina confer while Uriah leans in to the rest of us.

"This is why if I ever marry, I'm eloping." Zeke gives him a playful shove.

"How'll you get anyone to agree? And even if you find someone, mom will kill you. She's been looking forward to that day since you've been born, short of paying someone off to marry you."

"She really will have to pay someone to marry you." Zeke just gives Uriah another small shove and laughs.

"Anyway, table attention," Uriah says, "To celebrate the engagement of Christina and Will, we're going to have a party at my place, since all of us seem to be in the wedding party, anyway." Christina and Will give their thanks and Christina even makes a show of walking over to Uriah and giving him a hug and kiss on the cheek.

"I'd love to stay and plan, but I have to go to the leadership meeting," Will says. That's when I realize I should get going, too. I finish my pile of muffins and head out behind Will with Eric.

"So, what do you think of being a groomsmen?" I say, giving Eric a smile.

"That I dislike weddings." That is a very disappointing response.

"Is it the wedding itself?" Maybe there's a little hope to be salvaged.

"No, wedding here in Dauntless aren't like the boring ones in Erudite. It's like every other Dauntless event; filled with booze and basically a riot. I hate the planning; I'll just show up the day of." There is some hope.

"So, as long as you don't have to plan anything, you don't mind weddings."

"No, I don't mind them. And I can see the look in your eyes. We'll tie the damn knot, too. I figure we have quite a bit of time before then." True, here in Dauntless, a wedding usually means you're about to have a kid or intend to have one soon. It more or less is the big blowout to end the era of freedom before you dedicate yourself to raising a child.

"I look forward to it," I say, giving him a kiss. We jumped into our relationship and have almost died together; having some time to relax and be together doesn't sound like a bad plan. Eric drops me off in front of the meeting room.

"I expect to see you resting in bed when I get back," he says, "You'll find me in the training room if you need me."

"Then will we be going to the engagement party afterwards?" I try to give my usual playful smile.

"You know it's impossible for me to say no when you make that face," he says, kissing me as I walk in. Everyone is already here; I'm just on time.

"Alright, let's begin," Tori says, "Will, what news have you picked up?"

"The recent visits to Erudite have been successful," he says, "They seem to have complied with the requirement to allow an ethics committee to investigate any new research. Nothing seems to be amiss. Most of Jeanine's old supporters have quieted down and they've agreed to recant all the false knowledge they were spreading last year about Abnegation."

"Well, it won't erase it from memory, but it's good enough," Harrison says, "Anything else?"

"Yes, it seems that they want to make a group project with Dauntless," he says, "Better equipment to deal with the factionless in a non-fatal fashion. They would like some volunteers to test out the prototypes."

"That ties in well with my news," I say, "The house has raised the motion to reinstate the Dauntless police force. However, it's our responsibility to make sure that the factionless are not merely persecuted. Some of us know too well what it's like to be targeted because of something we're born with." Tori gives me a look and nods her head.

"We'll make sure the force is well looked after. This also means we're probably going to need a growth in initiates. Anyone else have an opinion?"

"I like the idea," I say, "Ten is going to be too small for the new demand."

"Should we restore it to the old way?" Harrison asks.

"What was that?" I knew that about a year before I came along, the numbers weren't just ten. But I don't know what changed it.

"We used to just keep score before," Tori says, "They had to reach a certain number or be cut off."

"I like it," I say, "The old way sounds like a good idea. Training itself will be the same, but this will give us the growth we desire."

"I agree," Tori says, "Old way it is. Now, Audrey, would you also like to be the one to oversee the training, then?" Eric's old job; watching over and scaring initiates…I like it.

"I would love to," I say, giving her a smile. I'll definitely enjoy it more than house meetings.

"Great," Tori says, "Any other news to address?"

"We've also voted to have the factionless children sent to school," I say, "They'll take part in the Choosing Ceremony with all the others."

"Seems fine," Harrison says, "Factions don't matter as much before then, anyway."

"It'll be interesting to see what they can bring," Tori says, "Anyway, Harrison, you should find people who would like to switch to the police force or weapons testing. Scout out people suitable to be in charge of the force. Beyond that, we're done." This meeting was shorter than usual and I'm glad. I decide to head to the apartment and follow Eric's advice. I change into one of his shirts; sleeping is nicer when I can smell him. I lie on the bed, falling asleep faster than I thought I would.

**A/N: Whoo, second chapter miraculously finished! I'm going to ride the sluggish pace of the first week of classes for as long as I can!**


	3. Chapter 3

I wake up to a kiss. I kiss Eric back before finally opening my eyes. He just smirks back at me.

"For all you knew, I was some guy that just broke in," he says before kissing me again.

"I would've been able to tell the difference," I say, "And then killed him for it."

"That's my job," he says, "I'm going to take a shower before the party." He's covered in sweat, just like after the fight. And the look in his eyes is definitely an invitation. I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him as he carries me over to the bathroom.

Once we're dressed, we head over to Uriah's party which I can hear from down the hall; he was serious when he said party. I find most everyone there already and almost all of them are drinking. We greet everyone and I give Christina a hug before Eric sits and pulls me to his lap; it's almost like a rule at this point that I never take a real seat. Zeke hands me a beer, but Eric takes it and places a water bottle in my hands instead; he's still being protective from this morning. It's fine, anyway, I've lost my taste for alcohol recently. Coraline and Alex finally walk in and Uriah calls the room to attention.

"Alright, everyone's finally here to celebrate the engagement of Will and Christina," Uriah says, "As such, this is their day and their party. So, they get to decide our night's entertainment."

"Well, we're all friends, but I'm sure there's a few things we would love to see each other do," Will says, "Dare is the game tonight."

"And the penalty?" Alex asks.

"Stripping," Christina says with a smirk. This is by far her favorite penalty. During our girls' nights, any game always turns into stripping.

"Man of the night starts," Uriah says.

"Tris, I dare you to have a drinking contest with Four," Will says. Four and Tris look to each other and nod. I can't see her winning, though. She never drinks. Then again, Four looks like he's been drinking for a while. Uriah sets up the table with twelve glasses and fills them all with vodka. Four and Tris sit at the table and look to Will for the signal.

"Go!" Four and Tris start throwing back the shots, but it's obvious that Four's done this often. He flies through his and even takes two of Tris's. Her face is already turning red from her four.

"That wasn't much of a contest," Four says before giving Tris a kiss. He doesn't seem that affected by the shots, except for a bit of excess smiling.

"Christina, I dare you to let Uriah give you a makeover…and you have to keep it for the rest of the night," Tris says.

"You're trying to make me live my worst nightmare," Christina says with a laugh.

"Come on, Marlene keeps her makeup here," Uriah says, leading Christina to the bathroom. When she emerges, I find that she looks…good. Really good, actually. The makeup she has on looks even better than the one earlier.

"You cheated!" Tris shouts.

"No, Uriah really did this," Christina says. Uriah blushes a bit.

"I've seen my mom do it before," he says, "It's your engagement party. Next time, I make you into a clown." I guess Uriah really wants to see them happy tonight.

"Aw, thanks, Uriah," Christina says in a cutesy voice while giving him a hug.

"I should've just made you a clown." Christina just laughs it off.

"Marlene, I dare you to go outside and kiss the first person you see," she says and Marlene just smirks and heads out the door as everyone follows. I see a guy walk around the corner only to have Marlene push him against the wall and kiss him. He seems surprised but goes along with it. When Marlene pulls away, he just keeps walking; I wonder if dares like these are a regular occurrence here.

"Done," she says, wiping off her mouth, "Lynn, I dare you to wear on of my dresses and I get to pick it out." I can't help but smile, I've never seen Lynn in a skirt, let alone a dress. I guess I won't today, either, because she just takes off her shirt.

"I'd rather die," Lynn says, "Uriah, I dare you to ride on top of the train."

"Easy," he says with a smile, "This party's moving, then." We all get up and head to the train tracks and wait for the train.

"Time?" Uriah asks.

"In a minute," Four says, "Am I really the only one who knows the schedule?"

"No, it's just fun to ask you," Uriah says as the light of the train appears. We all run and jump on. Then, Uriah climbs up the railings on the side and to the top of the train. After a while, Zeke knocks on the top.

"Still alive?" He calls up

"How long do I stay up here?" Uriah yells down.

"Until you think of a dare for someone!" Lynn yells. I hear Uriah move along the top and see him appear on the side, windblown and smiling.

"You guys should try that sometime," he says, "Zeke, I dare you to go run into Erudite headquarters."

"Done," Zeke says and we hop off the train right in front of the main building. Even now, they still research through the night. Zeke runs in through the front and slides on his feet to the middle. All eyes are on him now.

"We're back again, Noses!" he shouts before mooning them all and running out. All of us are sprinting away and laughing.

"Just like old times, huh, Four?" Zeke yells as we run.

"Almost," he says, with a smile, but there's something that lingers in his eyes.

"Four, I dare you to finally go ziplining," Zeke says with a smirk. Four starts to remove his shirt.

"Scared?" Eric says to Four and they lock eyes. Four stops taking off the shirt and pulls it down.

"Fine, let's go." Zeke leads the way and I don't know where we're going. But I can hear the yells of Dauntless as we approach the Hancock building. That's when I see the line that extends down between the buildings.

"Can the rest of us partake in the dare?" Coraline asks, her eyes lit up like mine.

"Sure," Zeke says, "We'll have Four go last, so we can all welcome him at the bottom." For once, I let go of Eric's hand as Coraline and I sprint to the building and take the elevator to the top. Once we're there, we find a line of Dauntless on the roof. They yell and laugh as we join them in line.

"Excited?" Tris says as she comes up behind us.

"Extremely," I say, "It looks amazing." I watch as a Dauntless is strapped to the line and begins their descent to the bottom.

"It is amazing," Tris says, "You two will enjoy it." Everyone else comes up until Four is the last one up the steps. He looks extremely tense, but is keeping his breathing level; he must really hate being up here. One by one, the line moves forward until it's Coraline's turn. She goes down head first and upside-down, her laughter echoing between the buildings. The woman setting it up for everyone waits a little bit and then signals me forward.

"So even leaders have fun," she says.

"I wish I had more," I say as I climb into the sling. She tightens the straps and laughs.

"Well, you're in for a surprise," she says, "And I'm Lauren." And then Lauren pushes me from the top of the building and I'm flying. I've never experienced anything like this. I almost don't even feel the line holding me up; I'm soaring, untethered from the earth below. I gain speed, but something in me wants to keep going faster; until I'm at the speed of light itself. I notice the ground below me, coming closer, and know my flight will end soon. So, I take in as much of what's left of my newfound freedom as I can. I memorize every view of every second as buildings and the marsh fly by me. I even take in the faces of the people on the ground as they come, closer and closer. I'm slowing down now and all I can do is laugh hysterically as I come to a halt above this sea of Dauntless. They all clasp onto each other's arms to form a human safety net and I begin to undo the clasp that is holding me up. I fall into the tangle of limbs and they lower me to the ground.

"We have to do this again!" Coraline yells. I just nod and laugh as we hug out our excitement. The next one to come down is Tris and she's never looked more like a bird. She soars down, arms spread; in her black clothes, she reminds me of the very ravens that adorn her collarbone. She looks so at ease as she comes down and unhooks herself so gracefully, I'm sure she just might secretly be of avian descent. Once we get her on her feet, she smiles to us.

"I was right," she says with a smirk and she was. Coraline and I more than enjoyed it; it's easily one of my favorite experiences since joining Dauntless. We wait as each person comes down until it's Four's turn.

"He won't come down," Eric says with a scoff. He's back in his competitive mode right now, I guess. I give him a playful shove.

"Don't be mean. No one's dared you to face one of your fears, yet." Eric sighs as he puts his arms around me and waits. I see Four come down the line and he's like a statue, the way he remains rigid. He keeps his arms tight to himself. As he gets closer, I see he has his jaw locked and his eyes shut; he must really have a problem with heights, but I guess he didn't want to scream, either. Once he's come to a stop, he finally opens his eyes, lets out his breath, and turns over to let himself out. He drops down and smirks.

"Eric, we're going through your fear landscape," Four says. Eric just smirks and heads to the train tracks.

"Why not? And I won't need to keep my eyes shut."

We head through the Pit up to the glass room and Eric heads over to the landscape room. He starts up all the machinery and opens up a drawer with syringes. He pulls out one, but Four stops him.

"I said we," Four says with a smirk and grabs a syringe. Eric just glares at Four. "Not going to chicken out now, will you?" Eric grabs another syringe and hands it to Four.

"Can anyone else get in on this?" I ask. He's seen mine, I'm curious about his. Eric seems to consider it for a moment.

"You can and that's it."

"I want in, too," Christina says, "My party."

"Fine, everyone get in the damn room who wants in." Everyone piles in and grabs a syringe. We all inject ourselves as Eric shuts the door.

"No goddamn commentary and don't mess with anything." Eric sighs and injects himself and the room changes.

We're all in a pit and it's full of all sorts of bugs. Centipedes, spiders, things that can't (or at least shouldn't) exist crawl around and start to crawl on us. Most of the girls shout and shriek while the guys swear. Everyone struggles to keep them off. It's the most disgusting, slimy feeling ever, but I look at Eric and he's just looking straight ahead and breathing through his nose. A centipede as long as my arm is crawling up his torso and over to his face, but he doesn't even look at it. The bugs are swarming him the most; I don't know how he could not react. Even I'm trying to get them off, despite knowing it's all fake. The centipede is starting to crawl along his cheek when we change location.

We're in an Erudite laboratory and Eric is strapped to the table naked, but with one of the straps covering his waist. The Christina laughs a bit, but it's nervous; no one's really over the Pit. Uriah keeps rubbing his arms and Shauna is continuously shaking out her hair. A man in surgical gear approaches Eric and pulls out a scalpel. He starts to slide it down Eric's torso and I cover my mouth to keep from screaming as the man leaves a streak of blood in his wake. I want to run forward, but Eric gives me a look that says to stay exactly where I am. I watch as the doctor makes horizontal cuts at the top and bottom of the vertical one along Eric's chest; textbook dissection. Eric doesn't react to anything he does while quite a few people in the audience look disturbed and Coraline looks like she'll be sick. He has a pair of forceps now and is going to plunge them into Eric when we switch locations again.

It's beautiful outside and we're all standing in the sun; is this really a fear? Everyone looks around for a second, unable to believe that we're somewhere so pleasant. But suddenly, storm clouds gather. I hear the clap of thunder and lightning pierces the clouds. It begins to rain, but it burns! The drops land and sting my skin, hissing and leaving smoke in their wake. A few people shout and most of us go to cover ourselves with extra clothing, jackets and things, whatever we had when we came in. Eric stands, uncovered as the rain burns his face and body, making multiple small holes all over his clothing. He doesn't seem affected by it at all when we change move out of this part of the landscape.

We're in a concrete room and Eric is surrounded by broken, bloody bodies. He's covered in blood too, but it's obvious that none of it is his. His fists are completely soaked in blood. The parts of the floor that I can see are covered in a pool of blood that's…rising. The blood on the floor is rising to the point where it's already up to my ankles. Coraline actually gags this time as does Shauna. I want to as well, the iron-y smell of the blood is sickening. I cover my nose and the others follow suit. Most of the bodies have their skull crushed in, mouths open with teeth knocked in, limbs bent at awkward angles, and things like that. I don't even want to look at them, they're all so hideous. Eric stays calm as the blood rises to his shins and we're out of that horrible place.

We're standing at the center of the Pit and we're surrounded by a laughing crowd; but it's not the usual laugh that falls from the Dauntless' lips, this laughter is mocking, cutting. But I welcome it compared to the previous fears. This is almost like a sort of break. The voices get louder, the laugh harsher; it begins to grate against my ears, as if someone were clawing against my eardrums. We all cover our ears, but it doesn't make the sound any better; it actually seems to have gotten louder since we did that. But Eric still stays in the same position he has this whole time. Eyes straight forward and body relaxed. We change location again.

We're in a white room and nothing looks wrong. That's when I notice my skin feels…itchy. I absentmindedly start to scratch my arm when I notice the skin move; no, I refuse to recognize that. This is fake. All of this is fake. None of this is real and dear God, there's at least three bumps under my arm that are moving. Everyone else is freaking out like I am when suddenly the skin of my arm splits and little bugs start crawling out, pouring out of the wound like blood; crawling, itching, living blood. Everyone is screaming right now; it doesn't matter what reality is, there's goddamn bugs coming out of us. Another hole opens in my leg and I'm ready to cry. I look to Eric and he has them coming out of an arm, leg, and chest. He's breathing a little heavier for this one, but gets it under control and we're out of this hell.

Everyone, myself included, is still scratching from the previous simulation when we finally realize we've changed location. Most of us give a nervous laugh; I don't think any of us would have agreed if we knew it would be this hellish. We're back in Erudite headquarters as a bunch of Erudite move around us.

"Eric, are you daydreaming?" one of them asks, "Don't just stand there, get back to your research." And the Erudite rushes down the hallway. So that's one of his fears, being stuck in Erudite. Waking up to find that his freedom is gone and he's stuck in the old life he hated. We don't stay long; this is an easy fear to leave when you know it's fake. I can't imagine facing it in stage two and believing it. We change again.

The Pit is full of people and we're all surrounding the chasm. Eric stands perfectly still, but he has a look of confusion on his face; has he never been in this one before? There's a few Dauntless working at pulling up something with the ropes; someone has just jumped in, I guess. Finally, the body is up and the first thing I see is fiery red hair. It's me; my body has been pulled up from the chasm. The Dauntless pick simulation-me up and set her before Eric's feet. My eyes are no longer emeralds; they remind me of seaweed, the way they look. I remind myself of a dead fish, I look so slimy and pale and lifeless. But, despite being a corpse, it speaks.

"You did this. It's your fault." It's looking directly at Eric as it speaks and the color just drains from his face.

"You couldn't protect me. You said you would." But this isn't even relevant anymore; no one's hunting us. Eric looks away from it and closes his eyes. He opens them and lets go of the breath he's been holding and we're finally back in the fear landscape room.

"We are never doing that again," Christina says, "Next time, we're leaving your fear landscape alone, Eric." She's still scratching at her arms. I go over to Eric and take his hand.

"Your turn to give a dare," I say with a smile. He doesn't look like he wants to talk about what we've seen. He gives me a kiss and turns to Coraline.

"Coraline," Eric says, "I dare you to act like an Amity for the rest of the night." Coraline glares and rips off her shirt.

"Never. Again." She says with steel in her voice; I guess she really doesn't want to have to think about the old life she never really fit into.

"Audrey, I have a dare for you," she says, "Since Eric's claimed you since day one, I dare you to get 'Property of Eric' tattooed on you somewhere." She laughs as she finishes her sentence. I go to lift up my shirt, but then I decide why the hell not.

"Tris, will you do the honors?"

"I can," she says, "Location?" I think for a moment, where could I put it?

"How about here?" Coraline says, smacking my ass.

"No way in hell," I say. I sit too much for work, anyway.

"Maybe here," Eric says, placing his hand on my lower back. I like it.

"Lower back it is." We reach the tattoo parlor and Tris lets us in and brings me over to a table.

"How do you want it written?"

"Proper type, almost like it was stamped on," I say. That's basically what he did. The moment I met him, he stamped a place in my heart, short of placing a stamp on me. I feel the sting of the needle as Tris draws it across my skin. When she's done, everyone laughs and claps as they look at it before she has to cover it up.

"You know the drill," Tris says. It's my turn to dare someone.

"Will, I dare you to sing 'Work Bitch' complete with choreography."

"You're on, but no complaints on my singing," he says and we head over to Uriah's apartment again. He seems to have a karaoke machine. As soon as the music starts, Will is doing the most girlish walk ever around the room. The lyrics start and he stands in the center of the room, moving his hips around and rubbing his hair. I'm ready to die of laughter. By the time he finishes, I don't think any of us are able to breath, we are all laughing so hard. After that, I don't pay much attention to the dares. We all go a few more times before we call it a night; this was an interesting night.

Eric and I walk together hand in hand. We get to the apartment and, once we're inside, I take him in my arms.

"I love you," I say, giving him a kiss.

"I love you, too," he says as he kisses me back.

"Nothing will happen to me," I say. I'm still a little bothered by his fear landscape, "There's nothing to hurt us, anymore."

"I know," he says, "But no matter what, I will make sure nothing bad ever happens to you. I'd rather die than see you hurt in any way."

"I'll be fine," I say, taking his face in my hands to kiss him better, "I know you'd never let anything happen to me. Just like I'd never let anything happen to you." We kiss our way to the bedroom and I go to lie back, but I wince; I'd almost forgotten about my newest tattoo. Eric just laughs and pulls me on top of him. I kiss him and remove his shirt before taking off my own. His hands work their way all over me as I mess with his hair. It's not long like it was before; he keeps most of it short now, mostly for fighting, but I can still wrap my fingers in part of it like before. Eventually, I let my fingers wander lower and I work of the rest of his clothing. I posture up to take off what's left of mine with some of his help and we're connected in body and soul.

**A/N: Super long one this time! Hopefully, I can get another one done tomorrow, but the work is starting to pile up (goddamn ChemE classes )**


	4. Chapter 4

It's been two days since the party and for once I don't have any work today. I feel Eric get out of bed; he has to train every day and it starts early. He kisses my forehead and goes out the door. I simply go back to sleep; it isn't until I can't make myself stay under that I finally get up. As I leave the bed, I find that I'm a little dizzy; I guess I slept too long. I'm in a lazy mood, so I don't bother cooking; I head over to the Dining Hall instead. I don't see any familiar faces at the table, so I take my plate back to the apartment and plop down in front of the television with a movie.

I finish my food and the movie, but now I feel almost too lazy. I haven't done anything which isn't helping with the chubby feeling I keep getting. I could do with a trip to the training room, I guess. I change clothes and head over there. Tris is working on a bag inside. I go to one near her and start hitting. She looks over at me and smiles.

"Want me to yell a bit for old times' sake?" She asks with a laugh. I laugh as well.

"No, I think I'm okay. You always go at this time?" I've never really looked into anyone else's life. I know what everyone does, just not their schedule; it would feel weird to ask.

"Yeah. Have to keep fit, right?" She speaks between punches and I find myself mesmerized by her. She's quick, yet surprisingly powerful. That is what it means to be a Dauntless prodigy, I guess.

"I know what you mean. I've started gaining weight." I find myself blushing and hitting the bag harder.

"You don't look like it. It's not in your face or anything."

"Part of it has gone to my boobs, which isn't that bad. The rest is spread on my stomach and waist." Tris looks at me and raises an eyebrow.

"Has anything else changed?" I wonder if I said something weird.

"No, not really. I think part of it is stress weight from leadership. It's messing with everything else. My health, my appetite, and stuff. I like the job, but the discord going on doesn't make it easier." Tris is still looking at me in a weird way, like she's piecing something together. After a few seconds, she nods.

"I get it. It'll get better once the factions get themselves together again." We continue hitting, but the whole exchange has thrown me off. I just keep kicking and try not to think about it.

"I'm going to head over to the tattoo shop. See you later," Tris says, "Maybe get a checkup at the infirmary. It could be something bigger that you assumed was from stress." She has that look again, like she suspects something that she doesn't want to talk about.

"Could you just say what you're thinking?" I really want to know what's gotten to her. It's not like her to not say what's on her mind.

"Well, have you and Eric been using protection?" Is this about Eric's old reputation? Does she think I have an STD? That I've been getting sick from that?

"Yeah, we do. And he doesn't have anything anyway." I'm actually pretty pissed right now. I know he's had a pretty messed up past, but for her to suggest that is insulting.

"That's not what—" But I leave the room before she can finish. I don't want to hear it. I'll probably end up apologizing later, but right now, I don't want to. I'd rather go and see Eric; it'll be a nice surprise for him and it'll calm me down.

I head over to the fighter's gym and when I walk in, I'm surrounded by men and women doing various exercises. Some are on bags, others are working mitts with a trainer, and I find Eric on the mats with Jaya as others wrestle beside them. They seem to only be rolling instead of actually fighting, because the other partners reset to their knees whenever someone submits. No one throws any hits, either; definitely rolling. Eric is caught in Jaya's guard right now and I really don't like the smile she has while working with him. I know that men and women aren't separated for training, but I don't want her touching him…at all…ever. Eric doesn't notice that I've come in, so he just works on escaping her guard. She does the pull that he taught me on the first day of fighting and now he's right above her. I can't help but want to punch her based solely on the way she positions her hands on his neck. I don't care if she's holding him in place, she doesn't have to do it so damn suggestively; maybe I'm just reading too much into it. I'm watching them when Eric's trainer, Varro, comes up to me.

"First time catching you here, Five," he says, "Don't worry, we're going to stop rolling soon enough." I guess some of my rage must be showing on my face.

"I've told you to call me Audrey." I don't want to address my feelings toward Jaya right now. I hear a buzzer sound and all of them get up. Eric is up and helps Jaya to her feet who proceeds to look at him too much friendliness for my taste. I don't care what her record is; if she keeps this up, I will smack her. Eric finally notices me and heads over to where I am with Jaya following like a puppy in his wake. As soon as he's within reach, I throw my arms around him and kiss him; if Jaya doesn't know about me, she will now.

"I wasn't expecting you," Eric says with a grin. Jaya's smiling still, but she's gone tense. She better get over it; he belongs to me.

"I thought I'd stop by as long as I was free today. I've never had a chance to visit before." Jaya gives a small cough and Eric turns back and sees her. She should've just left.

"Um, Audrey, this is Jaya," he says, "You caught part of her fight, I think." He doesn't seem to notice the way we look at each other. We size each other up with our eyes while grinning at each other like friends.

"So, you're Audrey," Jaya says with a plastic smile, "Nice to meet you." If she's heard my name, then I guess she knows about Eric and me, yet she's going for him, anyway. She's way out of her league.

"Nice to meet you, too, Jaya." I extend my hand and she takes it, but drops it quickly.

"It's so nice to work with Eric, he's such a good teacher. Especially on the ground." So, the blows begin.

"Oh, don't I know. He's taught me many things," I say with a smirk.

"Varro, can I talk with you for a minute," Eric says, giving Jaya and me a quick look before walking away with Varro.

"Let's drop the act," I say, letting the smile drop from my face, "What the hell are you doing?"

"I take what I want," she says with a smirk, "And I've wanted Eric for a while."

"Then you better want something else, because he is mine." I close whatever distance is left between us and glare up at her. "He doesn't even want you, anyway." She glares back and then laughs a bit and smirks again.

"He did before," she says, "He will again when he's tired of you."

"He will never want anyone but me. And what the hell is this 'before?'" I shouldn't want to know, but I need to hear it.

"He and I had a habit of spending the night together before you came along," she says, "It won't be long until he misses me." I can't control myself anymore. I smack her and claw at her. I'm not even really fighting so much as wildly attacking. I feel hands pull me away from her and there are two people on her as well holding her back.

"You bitch!" she yells, while fighting the people on her, "I'll kill you!" I smile, I managed to give her a bloody lip.

"Just try it, slut!" I yell back, but something's wrong. My vision is starting to go blurry around the edges and I can feel myself slipping. I'm slowly sinking into the floor. I feel someone reach for my face; those grey eyes can only be Eric's. He turns from me.

"What did you do?" He's talking to Jaya and he sounds pissed.

"I didn't touch her!" Is all I can hear her say, but I hear it as if there's cotton in my ears. I can feel someone lift me up before I fall away completely.

**A/N: Short one, because I have to leave for class soon, but wanted to get an update in.**


	5. Chapter 5

I wake up to find myself in the infirmary. Eric is sitting in a chair next to me.

"If this happens every time you fight, I should probably start training you again," he says with a smirk. I laugh and smile back at him until I remember why I was fighting in the first place.

"She comes near you again and I kill her." The smile leaves his face and he holds mine.

"I'm sorry." There's not much for him to add to that. He can't erase their past and I know that. It would be unfair for me to hold that against him. That was a time before me.

"It's fine. But I mean it. She's to stay far away." I kiss him as he works his fingers into my hair.

"She doesn't matter." I hold onto him and kiss him once more, when a man in a black lab coat walks over; he must be the doctor, then.

"You're awake I see," he says, "I'm Ian, I was assigned as your doctor. Anyway, you're all clear now to check out. We ran some blood work to see if there was any underlying issue, but you seem alright. Just a little early pregnancy anemia." Eric wasn't paying much attention before, but he is now. I just freeze. Did he really say early pregnancy anemia? He has to be mistaken. I'm not pregnant.

"Wait, she's pregnant," Eric says, he turns to me, "You're pregnant?" His face is pure shock; maybe even fear.

"I can't be pregnant."

"Your blood seems to disagree," Ian says, "Have you always been using birth control?" I want to say yes, but then I remember; the night that was supposed to be our last. I guess we didn't really think about it; pregnancy isn't an issue when you're going to die.

"I'm pregnant…" I'm not ready for this yet. I told myself it was stress; it all started right about the time I became a leader. I told myself that was it; even when my period was late, I just thought that I would get it back when I wasn't so stressed anymore. I even had spotting, dammit! I want Ian to be wrong, but it all fits so well; I've just been dense. I had everything; morning sickness, cravings, tiredness. I'm an idiot. It all makes sense now; this must even be what Tris was referring to. I really owe her an apology.

"Since this seems to be the first you've heard of this, I'd like to schedule an ultrasound for you to check on the fetus and see how far along you are," Ian says, "I'll prescribe you some prenatal vitamins and iron supplements for the anemia." I nod and Eric is just still as a statue. I guess he's processing right now. I can't blame him; he's nineteen and about to be a father. Even I'm only sixteen and about to be a mother. I want an adult right now, but I am an adult; I need a better adult.

"I'll let you schedule it with the nurse, then." Ian gets up and leaves and I'm left in silence with Eric. He's still pale and just staring at the ground. I lean back in the bed; I don't know how to talk this over.

"You're pregnant…" Some of the color is coming back, but he still isn't looking at me. The building could collapse around us and I think he wouldn't even notice.

"I'm pregnant." It feels so weird to say it and know it's true. That as we sit here, there's a small flame of life that's been sparked within me. I know this isn't an ideal situation, but I can't help but feel a kind of happiness. I'm going to be a mom. My body is currently making a small version of Eric and myself. In less than a year, there's going to be a physical form of our love that my body brought to life. It's like waking up and learning you figured out how to do magic. But I look over at Eric and he still isn't doing anything and I'm starting to feel afraid. What if he doesn't want this?

"Are you upset?" I don't want to, but I'm starting to cry. What if he leaves? We've only been together for about three months. We jumped right into our relationship. We've barely been together. He looks to me and takes my face in his hands.

"I love you," he says, "I'm not upset." He kisses me, wiping away my tears, and I allow myself to smile. We may not have planned for this, but at least it's an unplanned miracle instead of another surprise disaster.

"I'm pregnant," I say with a laugh of delight. It's starting to become my favorite word right now.

"You're pregnant," he repeats smiling back at me. I allow myself one more moment before I go to stand and finally get out of the infirmary.

"What do you think you're doing?" I'm on my feet, but Eric lifts me up and sets me back down on the bed.

"I'm leaving. I've already been discharged." I go to stand up again, but Eric stops me.

"You just feinted and you're pregnant. You should stay off your feet." He has the same look he always gets when he's being overprotective.

"I'm going to be like this for a while. I can't just stay here." I stand up and spin out of his reach when he tries to grab me again. "See, I'm fine. Worry less." I wrap my arms around his waist and kiss him; he needs to relax a bit.

"You're such a troublemaker." He gives me a kiss and we walk over to the nurse's station, schedule the ultrasound, and pick up my medications. As we're leaving, I hold his hand and can't help but feel a glow that spreads from my chest to the rest of my body; I'm going to have my own family.

"Should we tell anyone yet?" I won't be able to hide this for long. I'm already gaining weight and I'll only get bigger. Plus, this is the kind of secret that I want to share. It's too good to just keep quiet.

"Tell whoever," he says, moving his arm around my waist so his hand is on my stomach, "I know you want to brag about our kid already." He smirks and gives me a kiss. Maybe not brag, but I want all the people I care about to know. The only person I'm hesitant to tell, though, is my mother. I don't know how she'll react. If she'll be happy to be a grandmother or be unhappy at a grandchild's rushed appearance. But I can figure it out later. I'll focus on the people who are nearby for now.

"Then I'm going to tell Tris first," I say, "I owe her an apology. I think she guessed it, but didn't want to say anything."

"I'll go with you." I don't see him leaving my side anytime soon.

"Apartment first to drop off the meds, then tattoo shop," I say and we head through the Pit with Eric keeping me at least a foot from every person; you'd think I was a porcelain doll that would break at someone's touch. At the tattoo shop, I find Tris sitting at the counter.

"Tris, can I talk to you for a moment?" I hope she lets me in; she looks like she's still kind of mad.

"Fine. Come in." She waves a hand and I walk in, I have Eric wait in the front of the parlor while I go further in to where Tris is.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry," I begin, "I misinterpreted your words and I finally figured out what you really meant. I just got back from the infirmary and they told me I'm pregnant. Please forgive me?" The words come out awkwardly; I feel terrible for how I was earlier. But then she smiles at me.

"I forgive you," she says, "I'll blame it on the hormones this time." She laughs a bit.

"Know how far along you are?"

"Not officially," I say, "But I think I'm right around my seventh week."

"Not very far, then," she says, "I'm happy for you." I'm so glad she is and that the age thing didn't throw her off. Then again, it's common for people to start having kids in Dauntless early. Our lifespans here are so short it's better to have kids early; otherwise you might not be able to stick around long enough to see your child's Choosing Ceremony.

"I'm happy, too," I say, "It was a good surprise."

"Anyone else know yet?" She asks with a smirk.

"No, but I think I'll just make an announcement at the Dining Hall," I say, "Then everyone can know at once."

"Well, it is about dinner time," she says, "You head over and I'll meet you there." We hug and she returns behind the counter. I go to the front where Eric is hand he holds me again as we walk over to the Dining Hall.

"Let's announce it at the table." I hold onto him tighter and smile like an idiot; I can't believe that I'm this happy right now.

"Whatever you want," he says, kissing the top of my head. We grab some food and Eric steers me over to the table, still just as protective as he was around the Pit. I actually think for a second he might hit the Dauntless guy that bumps into him, but I smile an apology and drag Eric to the table. Everyone is there except Four and Tris, but I don't want to say anything until they're here, too. After a while, Tris comes, hand in hand with Four, and gives me a knowing smile.

"Announcement, everyone," I say and everyone quiets down, "I just found out that I'm pregnant." Everyone gives a cheer at the table.

"Called it!" Coraline shouts, "I noticed you were getting curvier!" Of course she would. She knows things about me before I realize them myself.

"That's wonderful," Christina says, "And we're not marrying for about a year, so you won't have to worry about any baby bump!"

"Good job spawning a kid," Uriah says. The whole table is filled with congratulations and I'm overjoyed. Eric stays quiet for the most part; he's letting me have most of the moment. We stay for a while after finishing our food before heading back to the apartment. Once we're inside, I'm wrapped in Eric's arms and he's wrapped in mine.

"What are you hoping for?" I ask. We only just got the news, but I can't help but try to imagine our child. Eric closes his eyes for a moment, then smiles.

"A girl," he says, "With hair just like yours." He runs his fingers through my hair as he speaks.

"Then I want her to have your eyes. But it would be nice to have a boy." I imagine a small boy with beautiful grey eyes and my red hair and a cheeky smile like his father's.

"Maybe we'll get both," Eric says with a laugh, "Whatever our child is, it'll be amazing." He kneels and lifts my shirt, exposing my abdomen. He kisses my stomach before putting his ear against it.

"Nothing's going to happen," I say with a laugh, "It's still too small."

"Doesn't matter. I can still try listening." And I don't know what it is, but I start to laugh and cry at the same time. It's unbelievable how much the two of us have gone through in three months. I'm not sure how we're both still alive, how we're about to bring about a new life, but we're doing it together.

**A/N: And she finally knows!**


	6. Chapter 6

It's been a four days since I learned of my child and every day when I wake up, it brings new joy. Eric is awake first, kissing me before kissing my stomach; he does it every morning and every night now. I get up, too, and get dressed before heading to the kitchen to make breakfast. I'm finding that the Dining Hall doesn't have the sort of food I want. I make Eric's first, since his is much easier; bacon, toast, and poached eggs. Mine is a little…different. I usually have scrambled eggs with pickles and maple syrup, a banana and walnut pancake or two, and lots of milk.

"You should eat more." I have more food on my plate than Eric and I'm not eating enough?

"I may be eating for two, but I'm not going to give into gluttony. And as much as I want to, I don't think I'm physically capable of eating anymore." I just don't have any more room left in me for more food. And I still have morning sickness, which, despite the name, doesn't only strike in the morning. And, Marlene was kind enough to let me know it should go away by my twelfth week, but there's a chance I may be one of the lucky few who has it for the duration of their pregnancy; in the words of an old book, may the odds be ever in my favor.

"It's not gluttony," Eric says with a smirk, "The baby just eats like me."

"He's like his dad already." I smile at the thought; a mini Eric…the world won't know what hit it.

"Or she," he says with a smile.

"We'll find out who's right eventually," I say, "But for now, I have to get to work and so do you. I'll meet you here before the ultrasound."

"Are you going on the train?" He's been trying to get me to use a car when I have to travel outside the compound, but I don't see it as necessary. I've seen women as far as third trimester jumping on and off the train; at only about eight weeks, I think I should be okay.

"Yes, I am," I say, wrapping my arms around him, "Don't bring it up anymore, I'll be fine. If it's ever an issue, I'll take a car. Until then, I'd rather die than ride in one." He just sighs.

"There you go, making trouble and giving sexy orders." He gives me a kiss.

"That's exactly why I became a leader; to make trouble and give sexy orders."

We head out of the apartment and I walk with him over to the fighting gym. It's sort of an unspoken agreement between us now, that I walk him there. I don't worry about him at all, but I still don't just want to leave Jaya to her own devices. Going there with him is a good reminder that I'm still here. I've already learned that desperate people will do desperate things for someone that they want; I don't want her thinking she has a chance. At the doors, I give Eric a kiss.

"See you later," I say, "I love you."

"I love you, too," he says. All the guys within earshot start to make whip noises. Eric turns and faces them.

"Be quiet before you're at the bottom of the chasm," he says, but the guys just laugh it off. They've become like another family to him, I think.

"I'm going now. Try not to commit a massacre while I'm gone." I give him one last kiss and head to the train tracks. It's been a week since the last house meeting which I have to attend today. I can already tell how it's going to go; the exact same way as last time with minimal change. I hop onto the train and make my way over to the hub, but as I get closer, I can hear yelling. The front of the hub is surrounded by factionless; it's going to be difficult to get in.

"We are more than factions!" "Give us rights or give us freedom!" "Let all be factionless!" I can't pick up all of what everyone's yelling, but then a blond man stands in front of the crowd. He has blond hair and wears an eye patch. His clothes are a tight Dauntless shirt, abnegation grey pants, and a white candor jacket. I've only ever heard of this man, Edward. He seems to be the ringleader of the more…hostile…group of factionless.

"Too long have the factions held us down!" He yells to the crowd, "Too long have we been treated as second class citizens! But the attack on Abnegation has heralded a time of change! The other factions were able to wrest power, so why not us! We are citizens and we deserve rights! We deserve a voice! And if they will not give it, we will take it!" His speech is met by the cheer of the crowd; this place is getting dangerous faster and faster. I can't get caught in the middle. I ride the train past the front of the hub and get off a block or two away and start walking to the back of the building; I obviously won't get in from the front. This entrance, thankfully, isn't blocked by anyone. But as I'm heading in, I feel someone grab my shoulder. I whip around, ready to fight, but find a woman holding up her hands.

"I'm sorry," she says, "I didn't mean to frighten you." She doesn't try to touch me again, so I stand normally, but stay alert; the last thing I need is to be jumped.

"Just say something next time." I find that I recognize her face; she's Myra, the one that was lobbying for the children to be included in society and for peaceful negotiations. She's quite pretty and seems to be pregnant; I guess that's why she wanted the change so badly.

"I just want to apologize for the scene outside," she says, "And to say thank you…for approving to help the children."

"It's not your fault," I say, "And you're welcome. I have one on the way, too. Not as far, though." She and I smile to each other and I realize we're sharing in something that not many people can. We may lead radically different lives, but we share in the act of bringing about a new life.

"I'll go now," she says, "Be careful." And then she disappears down an alley. I enter the building and head up the elevator.

"I assume you all saw the protestors," Andrew says, "We need to come to some conclusion."

"We shouldn't reward violence," Cara says, "We ignore them and lend our time to the peaceful ones."

"They're not going to stop until they're heard," Johanna says, "We should meet with them."

"No, if they're violent, we don't want them to think that's why they're being heard," Jack says, "Otherwise all they have to do is escalate to make bigger demands. They want us to get rid of the factions for God's sake."

"I agree that I don't favor the violent ones," I say, "I like what Cara said about paying attention to the peaceful group. Maybe they'll realize that if they act like they do, they'll be heard, too."

"And what do we tell the violent section in the meantime?" Andrew asks, "That we don't want to listen to them, which is what we've always done. That's why they're like this to begin with."

"Well, that's the best we can do for now," I say, "We'll figure it out eventually. For the time being, the police force is ready to go. Jack, has the jail restoration started?"

"Yes, it has. Part of it is all ready for use. A few cells. The rest is being worked on."

"Alright, well our new head of police, Zeke, is going to be sending over jailers soon."

"I'll gladly welcome them."

"We finally got something done," Johanna says, "If only every meeting was like this."

"Well, I have a new proposal that I think will be favorable," I say, "I think it would help if we made healthcare more accessible to the factionless." I remember Myra and the way she looked; underfed, which can't be good for her baby. I doubt she's taken anything for her baby, let alone had any sort of exam.

"And how do you propose this happens?" Cara asks.

"We open up small clinics in unused buildings," I say, "They'll be used more for minor things like injuries and routine exams. Preventative medicine rather than emergency medicine."

"A good idea," Cara says, smiling, "We could probably arrange something. But I want some protection at these clinics. I will not place my faction's members in danger."

"The Dauntless police have you covered," I say with a smile, "Anyone else have any thoughts?" Everyone just gives their approval; it's not hard when it's something as simple as this.

"We continue to defy odds and get things done," Jack says, "But we have to figure out something about the factionless, soon, before they act on their impulses."

"We'll come back to it next week," Andrew says, "Meeting adjourned."

"Congrats on the child," Cara says.

"How do you know?" Do I have something on me that says I'm pregnant?

"You've been touching your stomach quite a bit, you've adopted a more cautious nature, and your hips have expanded." Her skills of observation are uncanny; she does belong in Erudite. Everyone else seems to have noticed our exchange.

"Congratulations," Johanna says, giving me a hug, "We'll all have to give you a gift."

"Good for you," Jack says, shaking my hand, "It's nice to get some good news in these times."

"Congratulations." Andrew smiles, something I haven't seen him do once. "A new child is a joyous occasion."

"Thanks, everyone." I'm blushing and smiling; it's flattering yet embarrassing to be the center of attention.

"Taking the stairs?" Andrew asks.

"Yes, I am." I don't feel the need to rely solely on the elevator yet.

"I'll walk you down," he says. There's that Abnegation selflessness that he's well known for. Any other day, I would say no, but it's a nice gesture. I could use some company, I guess.

"Sure," I say with a smile. And for once I'm walking down the steps instead of running down. He has me walk on the side with the railing and stays far enough away to ensure we don't touch, but he's close enough to grab me should I fall; he really is the epitome of proper Abnegation behavior.

"Will you be taking the train?" I wonder if he's going to caution me against it, too.

"Yes."

"Then I'll walk you there, too." He's going to go with me as far as possible. I should have expected this; I've seen Abnegation help pregnant women so much they stop short of carrying them to their destination. Well, having someone with me will be safer if the protesters are still outside. I actually worry for him more and the tracks are right by the bus stop.

"Then we continue our travels," I say, "Thank you."

"I need no thanks." We exit through the door that I came in through. I guess he's thinking what I am; that we should avoid the mob. I can still hear them shouting, but we ignore the sound. He walks me all the way to the tracks and waits with me.

"Are you sure you want to take the train?" It's unusual for someone from Abnegation to ask a question, but I guess he must be worried.

"I'm sure. It's how I got here."

"I'm sorry for asking. It's not my place."

"Don't apologize for your concern. You're not the only one." I smile to him once more, before I begin to run and jump to the train. I wave to his disappearing form then sit as I wait to reach the compound.

Eric's waiting for me at the apartment and gives me a kiss.

"Ready to go to the ultrasound?" I just want to go there right now, even if it means arriving early.

"Soon, but Tori stopped by and said to bring you to the Control Room first," he says, "Apparently there's something there that you have to see."

"Fine. Control Room first, then baby viewing." Eric leads the way the whole way down and opens the door for me. There I find Four working at the screens with a smirk on his face.

"You're finally here," he says, "Take a look at this." The first image I see on the screen is Alex and Coraline in the old transfer dorms holding up a sign that says "WILL." This can't be what I think it is. The screen switches to the club where I can see Becca holding up a sign that says "YOU" and I can't believe my eyes. The screen switches once more and it's Christina, Will, Uriah, Zeke, Marlene, and Lynn in the Dining Hall holding up a sign that says "MARRY" and I'm crying at this point. The screen changes one last time and it's Tris in the Training Room holding up a sign that says "ME." I'm crying and laughing at the same time now.

"Audrey." I turn around to see Eric on one knee behind me and I can't believe this moment is happening.

"Audrey, I love you," he says, "Ever since the first time I saw you with you fiery hair and emerald eyes, I've wanted you. And when I learned that you wanted me, too, that was the greatest moment of my existence. Now, I'm asking you if you'll be mine forever?" It's a Dauntless speech for sure; short and to the point, but all I need to hear. He pulls out a velvet box and opens it revealing a black diamond with smaller red diamond surrounding it in a swirling pattern inlaid in black gold; the design reminds me of a coal surrounded by flame.

"Yes." That is the only word that I'm able to manage. I extend my hand and he slips the ring onto my finger. He comes off his knee and I wrap my arms around him to kiss him. I notice Four go over to the microphone for the PA system.

"It worked." His words echo through the compound and I can see all of our friends on screen start to celebrate.

"Now we can go to the ultrasound," Eric says and we head out of the Control Room, hand in hand.

**A/N: Let's pretend, for a moment, that I decided to write this instead of going to lecture...Don't be like me :p Anyway, enjoy the update. Tomorrow will either be super productive or not productive at all, depending upon when I do my homework...**


	7. Chapter 7

I sit in the ultrasound room with Ian smearing gel over my stomach. Eric just sits in a chair with the biggest grin on his face, holding my hand as we wait to finally see our baby.

"Alright, everything is set. You'll feel a bit of pressure." Ian starts to move the sensor over my stomach and I finally see it. My baby; it's so small, but I can see it. Its little head and body stick out on the image, although the other details aren't that clear. It reminds me of a little bean the way it is right now.

"There it is. Definitely eight weeks." Ian points out the baby and Eric laughs and holds my hand tighter. I'm so happy I start to cry. That's my baby…our baby. It's absolutely amazing.

"She's so beautiful already," Eric says. I don't think he'd ever admit to it, but I can see a tear or two welling up.

"Or he," I say, "Our baby can still be a boy." Ian laughs.

"Already arguing about the gender I see," he says, "Well, we won't be able to tell until it's twelve weeks along at the earliest. And that early, I can be wrong; it's more definitive at eighteen to twenty."

"Four more weeks until I'm right," Eric says with a smirk.

"Cheeky bastard," I say with a laugh.

"I have one more surprise for you two," Ian says and then he pushes a button on the monitor and suddenly I can hear a fast, rhythmic thump. It's a heartbeat…our baby's heartbeat. It's the most amazing, beautiful noise I've ever heard. I could listen to it for hours. Eric laughs and kisses me before looking back at the screen and laughing once more.

"That's my new favorite sound," he says.

"I couldn't agree more," I say. I can't wait to be able to hear it without a machine. I find my arms already craving the touch of my child. To see its face with my own eyes. I'll have to settle with the image on the monitor for now. I look at my child again and find its little arms and legs; then I see it move one of its arms. I'm watching it, amazed that that is what's happening within me.

"Looks like your baby's waving," Ian says and I have fresh tears upon my face. This day has been the most amazing day of my life.

"I can't wait to say hello," Eric says as he places his forehead against mine.

"We're going to have to say bye for now," Ian says, "But I can give you a copy of the imaging and audio."

"Thank you." Eric shakes his hand, something he doesn't do often.

As we leave, we have an audio file, image file, and a picture of our baby waving to take with us; we're slowly turning into doting idiot parents and I really don't mind it.

"Apartment first then food?" I want to drop off everything, except the picture. I feel like showing off right now.

"Whatever you want," Eric says, giving me a kiss. As soon as we walk into the Dining Hall, our table erupts in cheers, which the whole hall joins into; I doubt half of the people here know what they're cheering for, but they are. Eric just spins me, tips me down, and kisses me, prompting more cheers from our newfound audience. When he finally tips me back up, I place an arm around his waist as we get our food and head over to the table.

"Ring now!" Christina yells and I happily present my hand with my ring of fire.

"It looks amazing!" Coraline says as she and Christina manipulate my hand.

"How did you all pull it off?" I've been wondering this the whole time. Mostly how they were all able to keep quiet.

"With difficulty," Eric says, "I asked everyone to be in place before you were set to arrive. I asked them all the day after we found out and set the date for today." He holds me close and kisses my ear.

"I don't think I'll ever experience Eric asking me for a favor again," Four says, "It was like witnessing a miracle."

"You know, you owe all of us now," Zeke says, "And I don't think any of us will forget any time soon."

"I think viewing the chasm up close might make you forget," Eric says. Him and his chasm; we've all grown quite close.

"By the way, we're planning your wedding," Christina says, indicating Coraline and herself, "I figure it'll be like a wedding planning test run for us. Don't worry, all final decisions will be yours." I have the greatest friends.

"You guys are wonderful," I say, "And I came with more than a ring." I pull out the picture of our baby waving and everyone takes turns looking at it.

"It's so tiny!" "How precious!" "Oh my God, it's waving!" "This is so adorable!"

Even Lynn who usually doesn't make very many remarks says, "It's…cute" before blushing a bit and handing off the photo.

"It's even melted Lynn's heart of steel!" Uriah shouts and she punches his shoulder. I don't think I could be surrounded by better people, but there's one last person I want to see.

"Think we can take a quick trip?" I ask Eric. I think he knows where I want to go right now.

"Sure," he says and we collect the photo and head over to the train tracks. I feel that it's about time I finally tell my mother. We take the train all the way to Erudite headquarters and I find my feet don't want to move forward.

"Are we going in?" Eric asks with his ever-present smirk.

"Yes," I say and I will myself to go inside. I know that she'll be done with work by now, so I head over to my old home. It's insane to me how I'm still so familiar with the walls of this building. That I don't even need to think about where I'm going. Too soon, I arrive at the door. I lift my hand to knock, but find that I can't. Eric ends up knocking for me, which I give him a little shove for. My mother opens the door, but she doesn't have the look of surprise I was expecting. She just smiles at us and hugs me. I've missed this feeling; I'll never grow tired of it.

"I've missed you," she says, "You, too." She adds before pulling Eric into a hug as well.

"Come in." She moves out of the doorway and we walk in, moving over to the sofa while she takes the armchair.

"So, to what do I owe this visit?" She asks and I find myself for once lost for words.

"Well, mom," I start, "The thing is…um…a lot of stuff has happened recently and, despite being together for a little while—" My mom puts up a hand and laughs.

"Audrey, you can stop," she says, "I already know." My mouth drops open; how does she know? How much does she know?

"What exactly do you know mom?"

"I know that I'm going to have a grandchild," she says with a smirk, "And I also know that you've gotten engaged." I find myself wondering if she secretly has a wire or camera planted on me. I always thought that as a child when, no matter what I did, she always knew. Then I also think of how she must be the most approving mother in the world. She really does love and trust me.

"How did you find out?"

"Eric told me," she says and I turn to Eric as he gives me an innocent smile. I was scared this whole time and here he's already gone and told her for me.

"When did you tell her?"

"The same day I started making arrangements to ask you," he says, "I figured you'd be happier with your mother's approval." He was right, I am happier that my mother gave her approval.

"Now, let me see the ring," my mother says and I show her my hand, "It looks as beautiful on you as I hoped it would."

"You've already seen it?" I didn't know Eric had already gotten the ring by then.

"Audrey, I used to own it," she says, "It was the same ring your father gave to me." I find myself looking at the ring again with new awe. She'd never shown it to me before. Her wedding ring and everything else had been put away when my father died.

"You didn't mention that," I say to Eric and he just smiles to me.

"It would have ruined this if I had." I look at the ring again, this time with curiosity. Most Erudite engagement rings have regular diamonds, blue diamonds, or sapphires as the center stone, but this one is black; black is typically reserved for Dauntless rings. How could my father have this ring? But then I realize there's only one way he could have and my mother smiles.

"I take it you figured it out," she says, "Yes, your father was from Dauntless. We were in the same year, but didn't talk at all; we were from two very different factions. But I caught his eye, so he decided to leave Dauntless and switch to Erudite to pursue me; he even bought a ring, he was so sure of himself. Your father had quite the ego, you see. He pursued me and I would have none of it. But he eventually won me over and here we are." Her eyes are filled with nostalgia as she speaks. I know this is a moment that probably won't be repeated so I savor it. Her letting me see a brief window into the past.

"Thank you, mom." Those are the only words that I can think of to say. She helped make one of my happiest moments even more perfect.

"Now, I think you have something else to show me," she says and I show her the ultrasound picture.

"It's absolutely gorgeous," she says, "Definitely eight weeks. My granddaughter's going to be big." Am I really the only one who wants a boy?

"Then I hope you two aren't disappointed when I get my boy."

"Even if we're wrong, we can always roll the dice again," Eric says with a laugh. Eight weeks in and already talk of a second.

"If it's alright, can I keep this?" She's given me so much and asks only for a photograph. There's no way I can give any other answer.

"Of course you can," I say, "And there'll be more, apparently."

"Then I have one for you, too." She takes the picture with her to her the bedrooms and comes back with another. I recognize it immediately; it came from my room, I could never forget it. It's a photograph of her, my father, and me. I'm still a baby, so my father is holding me, a smile on his face that is like my own. Knowing that he's from Dauntless, I look for signs of it on him. I notice that his ears have scars from healed piercings as does his bottom lip. I never even noticed before; then again, I wasn't looking for it. He's dressed in Erudite blue and wearing glasses; he looks so much like he belongs in that lifestyle, I never would have expected Dauntless. I smile to myself, knowing that I'm more like my father than I thought I was.

"Thank you." For the second time, she's given me something of infinite importance.

"I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you earlier," she says, "I didn't think it a good idea to give it while you were still an initiate, because these sort of things aren't usually approved during that time. Faction before blood and all that." I just smile to her and give her a hug; I have it now and it's something I've missed.

"It's getting late, you two should go," she says, "Until the police force is running, it's dangerous to be out at night."

"Alright, bye mom, I love you."

"Bye, Natasha."

"Eric, you can call me mom, too, if you would like," my mother says with a smile, "You're going to be my son soon enough."

"Then, bye, mom." The way he says it, it's like he's never used the word. I don't think he ever did. But he's able to say it with a smile, now and it's the greatest sight.

**A/N: This chapter got me thinking: what would everyone think of a spin-off for Audrey's parents? It would feature Tris', too, and Jeanine, seeing as they would all be in the same year. Thoughts?**


	8. Chapter 8

"What do you think?" Christina asks. I look at myself in the mirror in the dress she's picked out for me and it's absolutely marvelous. It's a pure white silk gown with a beaded lace bodice. The sweetheart neckline looks exquisite and doesn't show too much. The soft silk skirt and chapel train flow off of me like water and look absolutely stunning.

"I love it." Those are the only words I can think of. They're the best possible words to describe how I feel.

"I knew you would look stunning in an A-line," she says with a smile.

"And I was right about silk," Coraline says with a smirk. The two of them really have given me more than enough help; I don't know what I'd do without them.

"Now, hold still as we fit you," Christina says and they both start to move around me, taking measurements and sticking in pins. I try to move as little as possible, so they can get this done. In fact, all the wedding preparations are being done quickly. I want to be married before I get too big; I already have a tiny bump. A few accidental pokes later, Christina finally lets me out of the dress.

"Now, tomorrow we're going to take you and Eric cake tasting followed by a fitting for Eric," Coraline says, "Two days after we'll help you find bridesmaid dresses and bouquets. That's all that we could schedule this week."

"I love you two," I say, pulling them into a hug; I've been really into hugs lately…and tears. All these hormones are getting to me.

"It's what a maid of honor is for," Coraline says, "Just go to work now." I hug them both one more time and head over to the meeting room.

"Updates on old news first," Tori says. Zeke steps up first.

"The police force has officially been running for two weeks," he says, "Progress so far has been a massive decline in the crime rate. However, there's been an increase in the violence of crimes."

"What seems to be the cause?" Harrison asks.

"The factionless seem to be replacing quantity with quality," he says, "We've been able to catch most of them in the act, but for those that we don't, the result is…shocking."

"What measures have you taken to resolve this issue?" I ask. It's already been decided that, as leadership, we'll let the police force handle itself, unless they ever fall to the point where our interference is needed. We're to oversee, not babysit.

"I've had an increase in patrols," Zeke says, "Though we'd like to request a project for Erudite. If possible, could post a sort of box that would work in tandem with the radios they've given us. Like a stationary one that people could use."

"Sounds reasonable," Tori says, "Since it's technically a renovation of the city, we'll need approval of the houses. Can you bring it up at the next meeting?"

"Certainly," I say, "And speaking of house business, how is hospital security going."

"They've only been running for a week, but they're doing fine," Zeke says, "There have been no issues so far, except for a few aggressive patients, but we didn't even really need to be there for them; the Erudite just gave them sedatives. Otherwise, there have been no outright attacks or theft attempts." I'm glad that it's working out so well. I hope Myra has found her way into one.

"And how has research with Erudite been going?" Tori asks. This time, it's Shauna who addresses us.

"So far, the weapons that we've come up with are a stun gun, which is a gun that fires bullets that attach themselves to a person and gives them a non-lethal electric shock that incapacitates them," she says, "We've also come up with sprays that can temporarily blind someone."

"How long will it take to mass produce these things?" I ask; they all could be quite useful at this time.

"It's already underway," she says with a smirk, "They estimate they can start issuing them within a week."

"And how fairs our favorite ambassador," I ask. Will just smirks.

"You mean only ambassador," he says, "Well, relations with Erudite and Candor are better than ever. Abnegation, though, is still more than a little displeased about the police force, even if they won't say it. Amity is, well, Amity. We're on good terms with them, but it's impossible to be on bad terms."

"I think that's it for old news," Harrison says, "What about new news?"

"Well, our house still hasn't gotten any farther on plans to deal with the factionless," I say, "As with the last meeting, the only thing we've decided upon is working with the peaceful group instead of the hostile one. How we'll deal with the hostiles is still being planned."

"Well, that's unfortunate," Harrison says, "Anyone have anything to add?" Everyone sort of shakes their heads.

"Then meeting adjourned," Tori says. She goes to leave, but I quickly stop her.

"Tori, I need your permission for something," I say, "In order to have people outside our faction attend my wedding, I need approval from a leader. But I can't give it to myself." She smiles at me.

"You can have whoever you want to attend," she says, "It's no issue." I knew she would say yes, but I'm overfilled with joy anyway. I can have my mother come to my wedding. I think I'll also invite the other faction leaders, too; they've all been so nice and accepting, it seems wrong not to.

"Thank you," I say, "And I also look forward to seeing you there, too."

"Well, I am to marry you both," she says with a laugh. But even if she wasn't, I would want her there. She's become a great friend. I smile at her and then head out of the meeting room to go find Eric at the gym. Inside, I'm glad to see he's sparring with someone on one end of the gym and Jaya's at the other end working on the bags. She looks over to me as I come in, but goes back to hitting; she hasn't done anything since our first meeting, but her eyes tell me she isn't finished just yet. The person Eric's sparring with points me out, but Eric doesn't look over. I see him mouth something; I think, "Not again" as he continues fighting with the other guy. I guess he's been pranked this way before. I sit on a bench and wait for him. Varro comes over instead.

"I never get tired of seeing your pretty face around here," he says with a smile.

"I'm glad," I say, "My pretty face is going to be here as long as Eric's is."

"Well, I wouldn't call him pretty," he says with a laugh and I join in.

"He'd probably send you down the chasm," I say with a smirk; he and I laugh, both familiar with Eric's habits.

"He can try, but I haven't managed to stay around this long through sheer luck," he says. And he's right, he's one of the oldest Dauntless I've seen around, despite being only in his 40's. Yet, he's still as agile and fit as many Dauntless half his age.

"Guess he's finally noticed us," Varro says. Eric looks over at us and smiles before leaving the mats and heading over to where we are.

"You're here," he says, giving me a kiss, "And you didn't tell me, you ass." He says to Varro. Varro just laughs.

"Mind the way you speak to your elders, boy," he says, "And Jack did tell you, but you didn't listen."

"Because the last time he did, I looked and he punched me," Eric says.

"Then it's your fault for not keeping up your guard," Varro says, before laughing again.

"You old jackass," Eric says with a smirk, "And what've you been doing?" I guess he's remembered that I'm here.

"Finished up work," I say, "Also, I picked out my wedding dress."

"And when do I get to see it?"

"The day of." I'm not really superstitious, but I want it to be a surprise.

"Fair enough. And based on your smile, there's something else."

"Out-of-faction guest list was approved," I say, smiling even brighter.

"That's great." He gives me a kiss.

"That's not all, though," I say, "Over the next few days, we're doing cake tasting, a fitting for you, and more dress finding."

"You should've said all that first," Eric says with a sigh. Varro pats him on the back.

"Just say yes to everything," he says, "Or else anything that goes wrong is on you." He laughs again.

"I'm not that bad!" I say, but Varro just laughs more.

"I speak from experience," he says, holding up his hands, "Now, I'll leave you both to your business." He walks away, still laughing. He's really one of my favorite people here.

"By the way, some of the guys and I are going out tonight," Eric says. I'm glad he didn't phrase it as a question; I don't want to feel like I'm running his life.

"Alright, see you afterward," I say, giving him a kiss, "Don't get into too much trouble." I know he's going to be drinking and he and the rest of them tend to become drunk daredevils. It's hilarious, but I'd rather not have anything happen to them.

"I'll be home late," he says, "You don't have to wait up." I just nod, but I'm going to wait up anyway. I don't want to come across as controlling, but I still like to know when he gets home.

"Alright," I say, "Well, I'll let you get back to training." I get up, giving him one more kiss and go to leave. On my way out, I catch Jaya's eyes one more time. I smirk and then exit the gym. Now that the rest of my day is free, I don't have much to do. I wonder if Coraline would be up for a girls' night. Actually, that's a terrible question; I wonder when Coraline would be able to join me for a girls' night. I head over to Christina's boutique. She should be working right now.

"Audrey!" she yells, "You never visit!"

"Well, I wanted to find you," I say, giving her a hug, "I'm free tonight. Girls' night?" I ask with a smirk. Coraline just squeals with delight.

"Yes!" she yells, "Oh, but let's get the other girls!" She's practically jumping with excitement.

"Alright then, girls' night," I say with a laugh.

"I get off soon, when I do, we'll find everyone else." She's clapping and having her own small celebration at the thought. I wait for her and when her shift ends, she locks up the shop and we head over to the Dining Hall together. We head over to the table where everyone is.

"Ladies assemble!" Coraline yells and for the second time, I witness all the girls migrate to one section of the table.

"And what are we gathered for?" Marlene asks.

"For a long overdue girls' night," Coraline says, "We'll start at Audrey's and see where we go from there."

"I love it!" Christina yells, "We haven't all gone out in ages!" We all agree to meet over at my place and get ready there. Then we're going to party around Dauntless. We all haven't been together in so long, I can't wait. We all quickly finish our food and head out of the Dining Hall. I go right to the apartment and start to pick out what I want to wear. I won't be wearing anything that shows my stomach, I think; I'm starting to get veins due to the increase in blood supply. I'll just wear a dress, then. I go to my collection and narrow it down to three possibilities. I'll leave the final decision for later; part of the fun of a girls' night is picking out outfits together. It's not as fun when you're already made up. It doesn't take long for everyone to arrive with a few outfits in hand.

"Ooh, this one would look good!" "You should wear this!" "This is gorgeous!" "Just wear a skirt for once, Lynn!" All sorts of comments are being thrown around as we all get ready together. Everyone helps themselves to the beer in the ref. I guess we're going to start the drinking early; I won't be joining in that, though and Tris doesn't look like she will, either. Once we're all ready, I can't help but admire myself in the dress that Coraline and Christina helped me choose. It's a short black dress with lacy straps and a tight bodice. The skirt is full of frills and lace; it compliments my shape nicely while not making my stomach seem bigger than it is. I wear a pair of mary jane heals with them. I choose some red and orange eye shadow with green undertones, which make my eyes pop. My lips have a beautiful orange and yellow sheen that makes them seem fuller. I'm starting to catch up to Christina and Coraline's makeup skills.

"Let's get started, ladies," Coraline says with a smirk and we're headed out the door and into the noisy celebration of the Pit.

**A/N: Sorry this short update took so long. Anyway, wedding dress is revealed! Yay!**


	9. Chapter 9

Our first stop is The Club. I haven't been here in so long, I find myself completely taken in by the atmosphere immediately. I've missed the feel of the bass, the way the whole room seems to be alive, and the flash of the lights. The first thing I do is head right over to Becca.

"Audrey!" As soon as I'm close enough, I hug her. She immediately reaches for my hand.

"Damn! Don't go swimming, that thing just might pull you down!"

"Thanks for helping give it to me." I haven't had a chance to thank her for her part in Eric's wonderful proposal.

"No problem," she says with a laugh, "There's no way I could say no to that. I like making others happy, as you can see."

"Want to know what else could make me happy?" I ask her with a smirk.

"What?" she says, returning the smirk.

"If you could both attend and be my DJ?" I've been meaning to ask her for a while now. I can't think of a better person for the job.

"I would love to!" she exclaims, "I'll make room for whenever! This place will be empty, anyway. It's not every day a leader gets married." She is right, of course. The wedding will probably have to take place in the Pit due to all the people. The whole affair is more like a faction celebration.

"Now, it's been ages since I had you spin," she says with a grin, "Think you still remember how?"

"There's no way I'd forget." I begin mixing, happy to find that my fingers truly haven't forgotten what to do. It's the best thing ever, having music flow from your fingertips. Listening to the sounds around you, knowing that you created that. Adjusting the mood of the room, keeping the crowd going. I wonder if my child will ever love it like I do; I hope it does.

"You really haven't forgotten," Becca says when I finally step away, "Feel free to keep stopping by."

"I'll remember that," I say as I head back over to the rest of the girls. On my way over, I feel someone tap my shoulder.

"Leader by day, DJ by night, huh," Ian says. This is my first time seeing him outside the hospital; it's weird seeing him without his black lab coat. He's got his hair spiked, as per usual, but now he's in a black collared shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a tie with tight black pants and boots. I just can't connect club Ian with Doctor Ian; it's like two different people with the same face.

"Not every night," I say. I still can't comprehend seeing him here. I half expect him to rattle off some medical stuff or ask me about the frequency of my morning sickness.

"That's good," he says, "You don't want to stay out late too much." The medical concern is helping me cope.

"I don't." I go to return to Coraline and the rest, but he grabs hold of me again.

"Can I get you a drink?" More medical concern, I guess. He did go on about drinking fluids before. But I don't want to bother him.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you, though." Now, I finally leave and head back to my friends.

"Who's that?" Coraline asks once I get back.

"My doctor," I say, "I didn't expect to see him here."

"I thought he was some guy trying to flirt with you," Tris says with a laugh.

"I would've hit him if he was," I say.

"Did he say anything?" Christina asks. She keeps looking over at Ian with the strangest gaze.

"Just that he didn't know that I DJ'd. Then he went in doctor mode and told me not to stay out late and offered me a drink."

"He offered you a drink?" Shauna says, "That's a little odd." Coming from anyone else, being offered a drink would be weird, but as my doctor, I don't see it that way.

"He was probably worried about me being dehydrated. There's no way it's anything but that. He's my doctor; he knows I'm pregnant and about Eric." Shauna shrugs.

"Whatever you say." I don't know, maybe it was just a quirk with him; like he's attentive to patients inside and outside the hospital. I know my mother was like that; if she saw a patient outside, she'd be just as attentive as she would be if she were in an exam room. We stay a while longer until Lynn almost punches a man for trying to dance with her.

"To the bars!" a now somewhat drunk Christina shouts and we leave to go bar hopping where tonight's entertainment seems to be the antics of everyone around me.

"Karaoke challenge!" Marlene yells. It seems like every bar in Dauntless has a karaoke machine. It's like they want us to embarrass ourselves. Marlene starts out with P!nk's "Blow Me (One Last Kiss)" and she gives a drunk, but surprisingly on-key rendition. The mike gets passed to the right and now it's Lynn who has to sing.

"Not happening," she says, so Christina passes her a large shot.

"Penalty," Christina sings, so Lynn drinks all of it and now it's Christina's turn. She chooses "Single Ladies" as her song and I'm amazed she knows all the choreography; the timing and everything is perfect. The mike is passed again over to Tris. She thinks for a moment then I hear the music to "Raise Your Glass" start up. But the whole bar cheers for this one and that's when I notice something. Every time "Raise your glass" is sung, everyone takes a shot. I guess this song is like a drinking game within itself and Tris knows it. By the end of it, everyone at our table is definitely drunk.

"You're a genius," I say and Tris just laughs.

"I think they'd choose different words," Tris says and I can see that the shots are starting to catch up to everyone. Most of them are starting to get wobbly and slur. "Your turn now." Well, the mike is mine and a shot isn't an option. But I don't know what I want to sing; it's not like mixing. The music and lyrics are predetermined, but I don't know what would go well with my voice. Then again, everyone's too drunk to care. But I want to sing something that actually speaks to me. But then I think of the song that can most perfectly describe what my life has been like since I got to Dauntless. I make my selection and get ready.

_Yellow diamonds in the light_

_Now we're standing side by side_

_As your shadow crosses mine_

_What it takes to come alive_

_It's the way I'm feeling I just can't deny_

_But I've gotta let it go_

I sing the chorus and I'm met by the cheers of everyone in the bar; I'm glad that I'm not terrible. I've never really tried singing in front of anyone.

_Shine a light through an open door_

_Love and life I will divide_

_Turn away 'cause I need you more_

_Feel the heartbeat in my mind_

_It's the way I'm feeling I just can't deny_

_But I've gotta let it go_

I can hear someone whistling and I find that I'm enjoying this almost as much as mixing. I'm drunk on fun rather than liquor like everyone around me. I go back to the table and pass the mic to Coraline.

"Never again," she says and takes a shot just like Lynn did. I'm starting to think she as an aversion to anything Amity related. Shauna's the last one to sing and she chooses "Where is My Mind" and I think it's the best song to describe our group right now. Coraline, despite refusing to do anything that reminds her of her old life has become the nicest, sweetest, least offensive person and it's terrifying. Marlene is laughing at everything to the point where I don't know how she's breathing. Christina is the most aggressive I've ever seen her. And Lynn has somehow remained Lynn. Tris and I just watch our friends transform from all the alcohol and it's the greatest sight.

"New bar," Christina slurs and we're moving again. As we go, I look over at the Pit only to see the dark hair I'm so familiar with. Eric looks like he's having fun with a couple of the guys. They seem to be on their way to a new bar right now, but we're on different levels at the moment, so I can't say hi. I wouldn't want to, either; I will not be known as the clingy girlfriend. But then a certain someone catches my eye: Jaya. What the hell is she doing with them? I move closer to the edge of the path that we're on, unable to believe my eyes; he said "the guys" and last I checked, she lacked a dick.

"What's up?" I hear Lynn ask. They seem to have noticed that I've stopped.

"I just saw something disgusting," I say, "It's alright." I'm not going to ruin the night because of that slut. But I'm not going to forget this, either.

At the next bar, Coraline and Lynn decide to have a drinking contest. Coraline may have won, but Tris and I end up helping her in the bathroom. She puts my morning sickness to shame.

"Maybe we should call it a night," Tris says.

"Nonsense," a now extremely drunk Christina slurs, "There's still a bunch o' bars left." That's the one thing Dauntless seems to have in abundance. I think they'd all die of alcohol poisoning if we visited them all.

"I'm sleepy," Marlene says as she collapses against the wall. Yes, it's definitely time to call it a night.

"I've got this one and Shauna if you've got those two," Lynn says as she picks Marlene up to her feet and puts an arm under Shauna's. I have no idea how she's both conscious and coherent after all she's thrown back. I help lift up Coraline and Tris takes Christina.

"Fun night," Tris says.

"It's been interesting," I say. It would've been better if I'd never seen Jaya's stupid face with Eric and the rest of the guys.

"I'll take Christina back to her place if you can handle Coraline," she says.

"Good idea," I say and we split off.

"Audrey, you're so nice," Coraline says, "You're just the nicest person ever." This is probably the twentieth time she's said this. I will never let her live this down.

"Thanks, Coraline."

"Audrey, let's have a sleep over. I want a sleepover." Well, I'm not expecting Eric back for a while. And even when he gets back, he's not getting in bed. I don't know if it's me or the hormones, but I'm pissed.

"Okay, you can sleep over."

"Yay!" She gives me a drunken hug and I try to prepare myself for the walk to the apartment. If she's going to be like this, it will be long.

The first thing I do when I get in the apartment is try to get Coraline into some of my sleeping clothes.

"Haha, it's like dress-up!" Yup, definitely not letting her forget this. I finally get her changed and clean her up a bit; I don't think she wants to wake up in smudged makeup with puke on her breath.

"Alright, let's get you to bed." I lay her down on her side and prop her up a bit with a pillow. She should be fine like this. It doesn't take long for her to pass out. Now, I'm left in the dark by myself. I decide to get out a pillow and blanket and set them on the couch and sit there, beginning my wait for Eric.

It takes another couple of hours for him to finally walk in the door.

"Audrey, what're you still doing up?" He's definitely drunk, but still lucid.

"Waiting, how was it hanging out with the guys?" Let's see if he answers correctly.

"It was fine. We went out to the bars and stuff…" He yawns and rubs his eyes a bit, clearly tired.

"See anyone?" Maybe he'll do better this time.

"No, not really. What's with the interrogation?"

"Since when is Jaya included in "the guys?!" I don't even shout, but I am extremely pissed. I don't know if it's pregnancy, jealousy, or what. I don't really care, because he just lied.

"How do you know she was there?"

"Because I saw you all in the Pit while I was out with the girls! And at least when I went out, they all really were girls!"

"I didn't even know she was going to be there! I didn't do anything with her, anyway!"

"Then why'd you lie!" Damn that bitch to hell for this.

"Because I didn't want this!" I don't want it either, but I'm still pissed.

"We wouldn't have this if you'd been honest." He just stands there and stares at me, neither of us saying anything. I don't like this. I don't want to stay here right now.

"I'm going to bed now. Good night." I head over to the room.

"Audrey…" I stop, but I don't turn around. I don't know what I'd say.

"Good night." I go into the room and shut the door. I slide into bed with Coraline.

"It'll be okay," she says. I don't know when she woke up or how much she heard, but she takes my hand like she did on the first night we stayed at Dauntless. I just hold onto it and cry, the tears burning my face.


	10. Chapter 10

"My fucking head…" are the words that greet me in the morning. I don't know what I was expecting. Maybe to find that yesterday hadn't happened; that Eric and I hadn't fought. But here I am with a now hungover Coraline. It may be from the arguing last night or the pregnancy, but I feel absolutely sick. I get up and rush to the bathroom as I hear Coraline stumble in behind me.

"Here, I got you," she says as she holds back my hair, "Thanks for last night."

"How much do you remember?" I wonder if she remembers the fight.

"Enough." She kneels on the bathroom floor with me and gives me a hug. I can't help but let a few tears slip through. I feel so pathetic right now, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. I'm a Dauntless leader; I'm supposed to be better than this.

"He's a dick, but he'll make it up to you eventually," she says, "Until then, make him suffer." I can't help but laugh when she says that. She's my favorite person and probably the most aggressive one I know.

"Well, I already put him on the couch," I say with a smile. I might as well go along with her. The one thing I've learned is that tears fix nothing.

"That's a good start. Let's see if he's still there." She helps me up from the floor and we head over to the living room, but he's absent. The blanket has been refolded and the pillow stacked on top; I guess he got up early and left. I can't help but feel hurt that he would leave without saying good-bye; then again, I was the one that put him here.

"Guess he ran." Coraline says. It's painful to hear it. I sit on the couch and find myself throwing the pillow, blanket, and everything else around me. This whole thing feels so stupid, but at the same time it cuts deep. He lied to me…but even if he hadn't I probably wouldn't have given him a chance, either.

"Want some food?" I can't just be lost in my own thoughts. I have a guest and I don't want to think about this right now.

"Sure," Coraline says, "To the Dining Hall."

"No, I feel like cooking." It helps me clear my head, having to concentrate on something else. I make my way to the kitchen and pour a glass of water.

"Here, drink this and I'll get started."

Coraline takes the glass and I start cooking, like I always do. Right now, I'm interested in comfort food; something sweet. Strawberry pancakes topped with whipped cream and a chocolate drizzle are what I make. As soon as I present Coraline with her plate, her eyes go wide.

"Forget Eric, I'll marry you instead." I'm surprised that she's able to eat so fast. Personally, I don't even feel that hungry, but I eat anyway; there's no point in starving over this. That'll only hurt me and the baby. But thinking of our child reminded me that Eric never did the ritual last night or this morning. It's on me, too, though. I just feel empty right now with things between us as they are. But he still lied and I can't just forget that; even if it was supposed to be for my sake, I'd rather be hurt by the truth than shielded by a lie.

"I have to go to work, but I'll leave the apartment in your hands," I say as I clean up the dishes, "Please leave it in mostly the same state."

"Can do," Coraline says as she hops onto the couch and turns on the TV. She really knows how to make herself at home. I smile to her for a moment before my heart can pull it down and head out the door.

The front of the Hub is clear, like it's been since the police force has been enacted. As I approach the building, the officers stationed outside nod to me. I return it and head inside for another day of business. But I still just keep replaying the events of the night over and over in my head. Would it have just been better to never bring it up? Should I have just assumed that nothing happened? But then I would have kept questioning had I held it in. Maybe I could have handled it better? But he still lied and I'm not just going to smile and say "ok" if he does that. And what does it say about us that we're doing this? That we could fall apart so easily from some stupid woman. What if this is all a mistake? I'm usually so sure, but now, that's all gone.

"Audrey, you haven't given your opinion yet." I'm brought back to reality by everyone in the house looking at me and I haven't the slightest idea what we're talking about.

"I'm sorry, what again are we discussing?"

"Whether or not to discuss terms with the violent group of factionless," Andrew says.

"I don't think we should discuss terms yet," I say, "But on that topic, my chief of police has come up with a solution for them to be able to respond to emergencies faster. We would like to request the Erudite install call boxes that give off a signal the police's radios can pick up. And maybe have a stationary version of the radio for non-emergencies that still require police attention."

"We could come up with something," Cara says with a smile, "If the house gives us permission to renovate the city, of course. Anyone opposed."

"Then we motion for permission," Andrew says, "But we need to return to the factionless. We can't keep them waiting forever." He's right, we can't. We'll have to talk with them eventually, but we can't so long as they're authorizing attacks. If those were to cease, things would be different.

"But we can make them wait a little longer," I say, "What if we gave them an ultimatum. If they wish to be heard, they have to stop the attacks for at least a month to prove they can control their people. If they succeed, we'll sit down with them and discuss giving them a seat in the house, to start."

"It seems fair," Johanna says, "And it will stop the violence."

"I don't know," Cara says, "How do we know they won't just continue to threaten violence to get their way. Or won't just plan something bigger."

"We don't," I say, "But a temporary peace is better than none at all. At least during the hiatus we'll be able to regroup and think of a better way to maintain peace on our own if need be."

"We'll be gambling on the factionless," Jack says, "Let's hope it works out."

"Then we've finally come to a conclusion," Andrew says, "We'll pass this to the upper house and they'll be the ones to send an ambassador to the factionless with our terms. Meeting adjourned." I head for the stairs and Andrew comes with me; this is his new habit now.

"Are you alright?" he asks as we descend the steps, "You seemed distracted during the meeting and I understand pregnancy can be tiring."

"No, it's nothing like that," I say, blushing. It's still embarrassing to have been caught like that during the meeting.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." He's still so careful about offending.

"No, you were just concerned," I say, "It's just some relationship trouble." I don't know why I feel like opening up to him.

"That's unfortunate. But relationships often carry some trouble." It's weird talking like this, normally. But it's strangely comforting.

"I know, but it's annoying when the trouble comes from others." We wouldn't be caught up in this if Jaya could just learn to keep out.

"If your significant other dedicates himself to you, others shouldn't be a concern." He's right, I shouldn't think about Jaya at all given all the faithfulness Eric has shown me. But it still hurts that he lied. But I feel like my mind's a little clearer now.

"Thank you."

"I don't need any thanks."

We continue all the way to the train tracks in silence. We part as I get on the train, but I at least give him a genuine smile when I say good-bye; Andrew's been very kind. I ride over to the compound and decide to stop by the gym. Eric will be finishing up soon and we should talk. I enter the doors and sit on a bench as I search the gym for him; he's at the mats wrestling, but doesn't see me. I just wait, but as I do, Varro comes over and sits.

"You're not as bright today. What's on your mind?"

"Nothing." I don't know how to explain all this.

"Speaking from experience, the worst thing a woman can say is 'nothing.' So, what'd that idiotic boy do?" He really is perceptive.

"We argued last night." Varro's like family; it's not weird discussing this with him.

"That would explain why he's been moping like a puppy that angered its owner," Varro says, "Now, what stupid thing did he do?"

"How do you know it was him?" For all he knows, I was the one who made a mistake.

"Because men are idiots who never can and never will understand women," Varro says with a laugh, "I learned that the hard way years ago."

"Well, there was an unexpected guest that went drinking with him and the guys last night."

"Ah," Varro says, looking at Jaya, "He lied about it didn't he, the fool."

"How do you know he lied?"

"Because that's what guys do when they think they'll get in trouble," he says, laughing again, "We think we're being smart, but we're actually digging our own grave. I don't know how, but you women always seem to know exactly what we do." I can't help but laugh at his explanation; he's not wrong.

"So, I take it the boy has already received some punishment? Based on how early he was here and how stiff he was, I'd say you put him on the couch."

"I'm starting to think you're the one who knows everything." Varro laughs even more.

"No, I've just been there, myself. I hope the boy knows enough to apologize fast." He looks over at Eric and chuckles a bit more.

"So, this isn't that bad?"

"No, this is normal. It feels bad now, but later, you'll see it for what it is." I guess he's right. Eric lied, but as long as he really didn't do anything wrong, it's not the worst thing in the world.

"I still expect an apology, though," I say with a smile. I don't feel as caught up on this as I did. I guess talking about it has helped.

"As you should," Varro says with a laugh, "The boy has to learn some time." I can't expect everything to always be perfect. The faster I see that, the better our relationship will be. But I'm still going to find a way to weed out Jaya and her disgusting face.

"Thanks, Varro," I say, giving him a smile.

"That's what I've been missing," Varro says with a smile, "You're bright as the sun when you smile." The buzzer sounds for the end of training and I see Eric get up. He looks over and starts to make his way over. Varro gets up and meets him halfway, telling him something before clapping him on the shoulder and laughing, then walking away.

"Audrey, I—"

"Get cleaned up first. I'd rather talk at home." If we talk in that woman's presence, I'll probably get mad again.

"Okay." I wait for him to come out of the locker room and we wordlessly make our way back to the apartment. Coraline seems to have left at some point, but I find that she left a plate of banana muffins in her wake; I guess that's her way of helping. He and I head over to the couch and sit.

"What did you want to say?" I say it calmly and try to make sure I don't still seem mad.

"Audrey, I'm sorry," Eric says, "I should have just told you that Jaya was there. But I mean it when I say nothing happened. I ignored her and stayed as far away as possible." It's short, but just the apology I need. And I'm at fault, too, anyway.

"I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have gotten mad before listening to you. I also shouldn't have blamed you for something you can't control." I've completely given in at this point. I head right over to his lap and into his arms.

"Does this mean that I can sleep in our bed again?" Eric asks with a smirk.

"Fine. And what did Varro say to you?" I've been curious for a while now.

"That I should take my head out of my ass and apologize," he says with a laugh, "The old geezer was right, though." Eric gives me a kiss, but then he moves down and kisses my stomach, too.

"I didn't get to, before." I bring his face up to mine and kiss him.

"Well you're making up for it now." He just smiles and kisses me deeper.

"That's not all I have to make up for…" I laugh as he picks me up and carries me to the room.

**A/N: Added this line to remove confusion. This isn't a bad thing, no worries...for now :p**


	11. Chapter 11

It took one day for the upper house to pass the factionless ultimatum. It took them two more to get all their people together. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised; they're loyal to their cause. I'll give them that much credit. But it also disturbed me at the same time; that means that nothing was random. All of it was planned and it all came down from one person: Edward. I still don't know how he got them all to follow him despite being only a year older than I am; then again, I am a leader, it's not impossible. Just unexpected when he's compared with some of the other, older factionless. However he came to power, he's definitely in control. The only thing left to do now is wait for four weeks and then we'll finally meet with the factionless. I can't help but question my decision; do we really want someone like him in the house? Someone who was willing to attack innocent citizens to give himself voice? But this was my idea, I'll have to stay with it.

"Do you not like the cake?" Eric asks. I finally come back to what I'm supposed to be doing right now; tasting cake for the wedding. We had to reschedule it after Eric and I had our argument.

"No, it's fine. I'm just a little distracted by work." I have to stop dragging my work into everything. I get my fill from meetings and paperwork, I don't have to add it in to any other aspects of my life.

"You are finding your perfect cake right now," Coraline says with a mouthful of the stuff, "Forget about work and try this one." I start to eat some of the one she's pointing at and shove all thoughts of leadership from my mind. I am planning for one of the happiest days of my life; I will not think of anything else.

"You know, this is the one part of planning I don't mind," Eric says as he grabs more cake. This really is the only part he's been enthusiastic about. Otherwise, he's left all of it to Coraline, Christina, and myself.

"Don't eat too much," Christina says, "I still have to fit you." Eric just takes the whole slice of cake he had on his plate and defiantly shoves all of it in his mouth.

"Beautiful," Coraline says with a laugh. This really is more fun than I thought it would be.

"You know, moving at this pace, we'll definitely make the date," Christina says, "Everything is coming together nicely; in two weeks, you'll be walking down the aisle."

"I'm so glad," I say, "Hopefully I don't expand too much in that time."

"Don't worry, I'll resize the dress right before, so it'll be perfect," Coraline says, "For now, eat more cake. We still have to find the right one."

"Well, I really like this one…" It's the one that Coraline showed to me. It has a flavor of banana to it with bits of almond in it; it's easily my favorite flavor.

"It is really good," Eric says, stealing some from my plate, "I wouldn't mind this."

"I'll call Uriah over," Christina says and she goes running off.

"As a guest, I prefer the chocolate. But it's your day," Uriah says, "Now, how many layers would you like and what sort of decorations would you like on top?"

"How many layers do you think we'll need?" For a leader wedding, all of Dauntless will be in attendance, but the reception is usually a smaller affair with everyone personally knowing the bride or groom. Although smaller in this case means we'll still be having at least fifty people.

"For yours, I'd say three layers in a 12-8-6 sized cake," Uriah says, "Now for decorations, do you want something simple or ornate?"

"I want simple, but I want a few flowers like I'll have in my bouquet. So if you could put on some lilies and orchids, that would be lovely. If that's okay with you." I direct the last sentence to Eric; this is his cake, too.

"Whatever you want," Eric says, giving me a kiss.

"I can make some sugar flowers," Uriah says, "We also do cake toppers. Would you be interested?"

"Yes, I would." Eric said I can get what I want and I want this. It will also give me something to keep.

"Then I need a few pictures of each of you in your respective wedding outfits. I'll need front, back, and each side."

"I'll provide those," Christina says.

"Then unless you have any more details to add, I'll put in your order," Uriah says, "I guarantee I'll have it ready for your wedding."

"I was surprised you chose baker," Christina says as she grabs more cake, "But I'm starting to see why."

"My love of cake knows no bounds," Uriah says, "And I still get to be an instructor, anyway." He starts to clear up the samples.

"Alright, enough freeloading."

"Thanks," Coraline says as she grabs one last slice of cake before Uriah can clear it all away.

"I'm going to take you to get fitted," Christina says as she grabs hold of Eric, "Coraline, you and Audrey should go and pick out the maid of honor's dress. It's the only one we haven't found yet."

"Save me," Eric jokingly calls out as Christina drags him away.

"You'll be fine." I follow Coraline as we head over to the dress shop. I've already decided on traditional Dauntless black for the bridesmaids, but I want Coraline's dress to be special. I want it to somehow connect the black of their dresses with the pure white of mine. We start to go through dresses like we always do. There are some black dresses with white accents here or there, but none of them seem to fit. But then one catches my eye. It's a sleeved dress that starts out white on top, but steadily darkens until the skirt is black. This is what I've been looking for. The material and design even matches that of the other bridesmaid dresses; it's like it was made for the wedding.

"Coraline, try this one!"

"Oh my gosh, this one is so nice!" she exclaims, "And it matches so well! You really have grown an appreciation for fashion."

"I know a good dress when I see one. Now go put it on," I say as I practically shove her into the dressing room. She comes out and it looks marvelous on her. It fits her curves perfectly, the skirt a beautiful cascade of silk. The white top also makes her hair stand out more compared to the black we all usually wear. Even the back is open so her trees are exposed; for any Dauntless celebration, showing off tattoos as much as possible is a must.

"We found my dress," Coraline says with a smile, "You sure you want someone else in white?"

"It's not technically white," I say, "Anyway, the majority is colored so it's fine."

"This is too fun," Coraline calls out as she changes back into normal clothes, "I'll take this with me over to Christina's for a fitting. What do you want to do for now?"

"Well, there's no ban on the bride seeing the groom's outfit before the wedding…" We both head over to Christina's shop. As soon as we're inside, we can already hear them.

"Would you watch it with the pins?"

"They wouldn't be a problem if you held still."

"I am, you just don't know what you're doing."

"I know what I'm doing. Either we're experiencing an earthquake or you're moving."

"Just get it done."

Coraline and I can't help but laugh as we hear them. They're always going back and forth, but it never escalates; it's just the way they are. We go into the fitting room where Eric is, surrounded on one side by mirrors. He's shirtless, of course; Dauntless guys almost always have some upper body tattoos, so they traditionally don't wear a shirt in order to let them be seen. It's very different from the Erudite style which is like our ancestors where the men wear suits and ties. He also has on a black pair of slacks that Christina is in the middle of fitting. That's the only exception as far as tattoo displaying is concerned, otherwise there are many people who would probably be getting married in only their underwear or less. He also has on a leather belt with the Dauntless symbol for the buckle and a very shiny pair of leather dress shoes. Eric turns a bit to face me.

"Hey Aud—shit!" It seems he turned directly into Christina's pin.

"Those damn pins!"

"I told you not to move," Christina chides him while smirking. She seems to be enjoying herself a bit.

"You know, it's almost unfair," I say, "I have to worry about a dress, shoes, hair, and makeup and you get to show up half naked and it's fine."

"That's because everyone will be looking at how beautiful you are," Eric says, "I could be naked and no one would even notice. And that's starting to seem like a great idea at this point."

"Do that and I'm skipping my own wedding," I say with a laugh.

"And I already have you fitted now," Christina says, "Take those off without letting the pins fall out and you're free." We're exiting the room and Eric's already working them off.

"With this, all the main details are done," Christina says, beaming, "Now we just have to follow up with the decorator and caterers to make sure everything is going according to plan."

"I would never have gotten this done without you two," I say, giving them a hug.

"We're just the ultimate power duo," Coraline says, smiling, "Fashion extraordinaires, make up savants, and now superb wedding planners."

"You're too humble," I say laughing, "But I think you two really could expand the boutique with skills like yours."

"I'm actually thinking of it," Christina says with a gleam in her eye, "I could make an empire."

"And I'll be your second-in-command," Coraline says and they laugh. Eric finally comes out of the fitting room.

"Stuff's on the hangar," he says and he takes hold of me and heads to the door.

"Where are you two going?" Christina calls after us.

"Doesn't matter, we're escaping," Eric says and I just laugh. After a while, I start to wonder exactly where we're going. Eric seems like he actually has a destination in mind.

"You're taking me to…?"

"It's a surprise," he says, smirking as we ascend the Pit. He ends up leading me to a dress shop.

"I thought you were fed up with clothing," I say, smiling.

"I'm over it," he says and then directs his attention to the store's manager, "Do you have what I asked for?"

"Right away," the manager says and then leads me to the dressing room and hands me a dress with a pair of heels. It's a tight black dress that has a long skirt that's cut up to my thighs with a shoulder strap. It's fancier than anything I normally wear. What is this for? As soon as I'm out, I see that Eric has a collared shirt on. If it weren't for the choice of dress, I'd think we were headed to the club. Eric thanks the manager and then leads me out of the shop to a higher level of the Pit.

"Where are we going now?" I ask with a smile. I'm starting to get anxious.

"Another surprise," he says, smirking again. I keep trying to figure out where he's taking me when I see the sign. It's the Cave Café; this is the single most desired restaurant in Dauntless. As the name states, it's in a cave and it's supposed to be the ultimate date spot. The waiting list is so long, even if someone's a leader it can take weeks to get a spot.

"How did you…" I have no idea how he pulled this one off.

"I know some people and had a few strings pulled," he says with a smile, "It's been a while since we had an actual date. And after my little mess up, I thought I owed you one." I can't find words, so I kiss him instead. To do something like this is amazing. I almost think we should argue more often if this is the end result.

"You're amazing." Those are the first words that come to mind. I'm slowly coming to appreciate exactly how lucky I am.

"I know," he says as he gives me another kiss, "And you are, too, for always putting up with my bullshit."

"I love you…and your bullshit," I say with a smile.

"I love you, too."

We go inside and it's absolutely beautiful. The cave is filled with naturally occurring crystals. The Erudite in me can't help but identify them; fluorite, barite, and calcite to name a few, all slightly refined, but left in the walls of the cave. They provide beautiful and natural decorations. Lights have also been placed in a few, lighting up the restaurant and helping make the place sparkle. We're led to our table and the chairs are black with a modern design. The table has a black table cloth on top and has a crystal on the table with a light within it making glow like the larger ones around us. I absolutely love it here.

"Like it here?" Eric asks with a smile that says he already knows my answer.

"Yes," I say, "It's so beautiful!"

"How can I help you this evening?" I haven't looked at my menu since we got in and I start to flip through it, lost.

"If you don't know what to get, may I recommend the chef's choice?" The waiter asks nicely.

"Sure, I'd love that," I say. Whatever it is, it's bound to be delicious.

"I'll have the same," Eric says and he smiles at me across the table. This whole experience is just amazing. It doesn't take long for the food to come out and it's absolutely divine. Even my weird pregnancy taste buds love it. I almost can't believe that human hands cooked this food.

"I love this so much." I don't know how I stop eating long enough to say something.

"It's almost as good as your food," Eric says, "Maybe a bit better."

"You've already won me over," I say, "You don't have to flatter."

"It's true." How I ended up with a guy like this, I don't know. I finish my food and as much as I will myself to eat more, I just can't. Eric pays the waiter and we head out of what is now easily my favorite restaurant.

"Any more surprises?" I ask with a smirk. If he finds any way to top this, forget the wedding, I'm just going to have us elope.

"Not quite," he says, "But I'm thinking it's about time we got you out of that dress." He kisses the side of my neck and I feel my face fill with warmth while the rest of me fills with desire.

"Then what are we waiting for," I say, smirking. He really has made the perfect date tonight.

**A/N: Wedding's coming together :D Busy day for me tomorrow, so I may be late with an update :p As a reminder, if you liked Becoming Fire, go to my profile page thing and take the poll for which two chapters you want to see from Eric's POV before the month-iversary (9/14/2014)**


	12. Chapter 12

This morning, I wake up and immediately smile. Not only because I'm in the arms of the man that I love, but because I'll finally get to learn whether or not the little life within me is a boy or a girl. I've been waiting for this moment since I first learned of my pregnancy. Will I get the boy I've been seeing in my dreams? Dark haired with emerald eyes and his father's mischievous grin on his face. Or will Eric get his wish of a red headed girl with storm grey eyes and an angelic smile. Whatever our child is, I know we'll love it more than anything else in the world.

"Morning," Eric says, "Ready to find out I'm right later?" He's been going on about this for the last week.

"You'll only be right if you agree that it's a boy," I say with a smile.

"Nope, I know it's a girl," he says and gives me a kiss before getting out of bed to get ready. I finally move out of the bed as well. It's so weird to think that I've finally reached my twelfth week. Then again, my stomach is a testament to it; the bump has become much more defined.

"I'll meet you here before the ultrasound," Eric says as we leave the apartment.

"I can't wait," I say, beaming. I almost wish I had some sort of device to speed up time and get me to the ultrasound faster. We go to the gym where I leave Eric with a kiss. I watch as he disappears into the locker room. I'm about to leave when I feel someone grab my hand; Jaya.

"Get your disgusting hands off me now," I say. I'm not putting up with her today.

"As if I want to touch something as filthy as you," she says.

"Ha, I'm filthy? Who's the one trying to spread their legs for someone who's taken?" This bitch needs to learn her place.

"Isn't that how you trapped him into throwing a ring on your finger? Just think, if it weren't for that brat inside you, you'd be old news by now."

"Even if that's true, he'd never pick someone as low and conniving as you," I whisper back to her and leave the room. She's not going to ruin my day. I find myself calming down as I go to the train tracks; she's a pariah and I won't bother to think of her. I ride over to the Hub and go to the meeting room; we have a little over two weeks to go before we meet with the factionless's leaders and we need to decide exactly what we're willing to comply with.

"Cara, you've been keeping track of their demands," Andrew says, "What do you think they'll ask for?"

"They've been the most vocal concerning adding a factionless member to the house," she says, "They've also demanded for an improvement of living conditions, to actually receive wages, and a change in employment options. However, there is a growing section that wants to see an end to the faction system." She says the last demand hesitantly, as if speaking of it will make it come crashing down upon us.

"I could live with all of that except for removal of the system," I say, "It may have its flaws, but it's better than the sort of anarchy that would follow. Like-minded people tend to do better together." I can't see us without the factions. Without the system, we wouldn't know what direction we'd want our life to take. We wouldn't know where we fit in.

"Adding one to the house isn't optional at this point," Jack says, "It's mandatory. They will riot in the streets if we hold that back. Improving their living conditions is questionable at best; it will depend upon what materials we have available. However, I don't see how we can't change employment options. There aren't any left for them to take."

"They want some of the ones traditionally left for the factions," Johanna says, "To work alongside us instead of under us. I wouldn't mind it."

"But then what point is it to choose a faction when just anyone can join in?" Cara says, "We are where we are for a reason; we all had to pass the initiation process, but now they get to pass over it?"

"They don't have to be in labs or patrolling the streets," Andrew says, "But we can give them better than we have in the past. Better than cleaning up after us and slaving away for hours at a time in a factory."

"We can give them a leader in the government, better housing, and wages," I say, "Anything else, we can work out with them. See exactly what kinds of jobs they're looking at."

"I can agree to that," Jack says.

"Fine," Cara says with her jaw set, "Anything else?"

"There's not much else for us to discuss," Andrew says, "Since we're, for the most part, in agreement, meeting adjourned."

"I'll see all of you in four days," I say with a smile. I'd rather think of more pleasant things, like my wedding.

"Wouldn't miss it," Johanna says, giving me a hug.

"I've cleared my schedule," Jack says, shaking my hand.

"I even put off lab work," Cara says with a smile.

"I'll be there," Andrew says with a slight bow, "And Natalie has said she'll attend as well." We all exit the room and Andrew and I go down the steps together.

"You're glowing more than usual," Andrew says. He and I seem to be getting better at holding conversations.

"I finally get to find out if I'm having a boy or girl," I say, absolutely beaming. I still can't believe it's already been twelve weeks.

"Congratulations," he says with a smile, "Whatever your child is, you're sure to be happy."

"I will be." I place my hand on my stomach without even thinking of it, as if trying to feel the little one that grows within me.

"It's a wonderful thing, a child," he says, "You love them before you even lay eyes on them and that love only grows." His eyes are filled with the sort of glow I'm slowly becoming familiar with. It's the same one that's started to enter Eric's eyes. The glow of a father.

"It's one of the greatest feelings I've ever known." I can't think of anything I love more. The love I hold for this child is enough to stand equal with my love for Eric and for my mother.

"To be a parent truly is a blessing." We're at the train tracks now. I bow to Andrew and hop onto the coming train. I practically begin to shake from anticipation. It's finally time for me to find out what my baby is. I head over to the apartment, Eric waiting for me just like before.

"Ready?" he asks, giving me a kiss.

"Let's go." I want to see how much our baby has grown.

"Just like before, you're going to feel some pressure," Ian says as he moves the sensor over my stomach. I see my baby and it's changed so much. Its little fingers and toes are more defined. The eyes are more discernable now, too, and it's definitely much bigger than it was before.

"There it is," he says, "And it's in the perfect position to see whether it's a boy or girl."

"So…?" I can't wait to hear what he says. I feel Eric hold my hand tighter as he leans forward in anticipation.

"Congratulations, you're going to have a beautiful baby girl," Ian says with a smile.

"Yes!" Eric shouts, "And I was right." He adds before kissing me.

"Be happy," I say, with a laugh "This is the only time I'll ever be wrong. I can't wait to see her." A girl; we're going to have a gorgeous baby girl.

"We're going to have to think of a name," Eric says, "Something almost as beautiful as she is." I was so caught up in finding out the gender that I haven't even thought of a name. What should she be called? I have no idea where we should start.

"Something as strong as she'll be." I already know I want her to stand tall. To be as confident as her father is. To have everything…

"We'll have to come up with something really good, then," Eric says as he gives me another kiss.

"Congratulations again," Ian says, "You're next ultrasound will also be at the twentieth week, to make sure the baby's still developing fine and to make sure I determined the gender correctly. Otherwise, any ultrasounds after then are optional."

"Thank you," I say, placing my hand on his arm. He's been really helpful through this whole process. He just smiles and his blue eyes lock on mine for a moment before moving back to the screen.

"Here, I think there's one more thing you two want to hear," he says and I hear my daughter's heartbeat again. It's just as beautiful as it was before and it seems even stronger. I can't help but feel even closer to her as I listen to the rhythm of her heart.

"I love that sound," Eric says, "Thank you." He shakes Ian's hand again as Ian turns off the monitor.

"I'll get you the footage and sound again," he says, "And a nice picture for you two." He exits the room and I embrace Eric and give him a kiss, now that I can move again.

"A baby girl of our own," he whispers in my ear and my eyes fill with tears. I'm still so happy that we're having a beautiful little girl.

"I love her so much…"

"I do, too," he says, "And don't worry, we can try for a boy." He laughs and gives me one more kiss before we head out of the room. We exit the exam wing to find Ian waiting for us at the exit.

"Here you go," he says and he hands us all the ultrasound recordings.

"Thanks again," Eric says, "We'll see you again at the wedding." Even though all of Dauntless is automatically invited, we gave him an invitation to both the wedding and reception. I still can't think of anything else we can do to show our appreciation. He may just be doing his job, but it means a lot.

"I'll be there," he says and we exit the clinic.

"I can't wait to tell everyone…" I think everyone else has been anticipating this moment almost as much as we have.

"Let's put this stuff away, then we'll let them all know." His arm stays around my waist all the way to the apartment and again to the Dining Hall.

"What is it!" "Tell us!" "It's a girl isn't it!" "No, it's a boy!" "Say it already!" Our whole table is clamoring to find out about our baby. Eric and I sit and he just beams.

"We're having a girl." The table erupts in cheers, the girls the loudest of them all.

"I told you so!" Marlene shouts to Uriah, "Have fun doing all the chores for the week."

"Girls win this one," Coraline says with a smirk, "All the boys better pay up."

"Eric, you owe us," Zeke says.

"Better luck next time," Eric says with a laugh as he plants a kiss on my cheek. He still knows how to make me turn as red as ever.

"Now we just have to tell my mom," I say and we get up from the table and head over to the train.

"She's going to be so happy," I say. I can't wait to tell her about her granddaughter.

"I was thinking of something," Eric says, "What do you think of having her deliver our baby?" I never even knew that was an option. If it is, I want nothing more than to have my mother there.

"Yes," I say, throwing my arms around him, "I need her there."

"Alright," he says with a laugh, "I think it should be fairly simple to arrange it with the hospital." We go into the Erudite compound and over to my mother's door. She answers as soon as we knock.

"Come in," she says with a smile, "Now, what sort of grandbaby am I getting?"

"A girl," I say, "Just like you wanted."

"I'm rarely wrong," she says with a laugh, "I can't wait to meet her."

"I'm sure she feels the same way," I say, placing a hand over my stomach, "We're one third of the way there."

"It's going to feel much shorter later," my mom says with a smile.

"It already feels short," Eric says, "As if yesterday we'd just learned of her."

"Then she'll be here before you know it," my mom says with a laugh.

"Mom, when it's time for her to come here, we want you to be there," I say, "Preferably delivering her."

"An army of Dauntless couldn't keep me away," my mother says, cupping my face in her hand, "There's nothing I want more than to be there when my granddaughter takes her first breaths."

"Thanks mom," I say, tears threatening to well up.

"Anytime, honey," she says.

"Now, I think you two should start heading back. You'll want to get as much rest as you can. It's hard to get some the days before the wedding and you won't get much after it either," my mother says with a smirk. We say our goodbyes and leave her house. As we ride back on the train, I can't help but fill with excitement. I'm soon going to marry the one I love and now I know I'm going to bring a baby girl into this world soon after. Life can't get any better than this.

**A/N: Yay, a girl! Not going to lie, I decided this with a coin toss; it's more realistic that way and even I like to be surprised by my own story :p**


	13. Chapter 13

"You look absolutely gorgeous," my mother says as she gives me a hug. There's only a few minutes left before the wedding begins and I'm just a bundle of emotions. It takes everything I have in me not to cry and ruin the beautiful makeup that Christina and Coraline have done. My mother cries in my place, attaching the veil to my hair. I look at myself in the mirror and can't believe that it's me. My hair is in a curled bun with a few strands left to frame my face. My makeup makes me look flawless; it's more natural than the usual Dauntless style with only a few hints of color in the eyes and lips. The dress still looks just as perfect as it did when I first put it on, albeit with my stomach pushing forward a little more than before. But the way it's designed, I barely notice. The only jewelry I wear is black gold in my piercings and my engagement ring.

"Thanks, mom," my voice catches as I struggle not to start crying.

"I love you," she says, giving me a kiss before exiting the room. I take a deep breath and get ready. I'll probably be called soon.

"Alright, it's time," Coraline says as she comes to get me from the room. She looks stunning in her dress with her hair similarly done up. I hug her as I try to comprehend exactly how much we've gone through together.

"Your bouquet," she says with a smile and hands me the collection of orchids and lilies secured by white and black ribbon.

"Thank you." I want to thank her for the bouquet, for her planning, for her friendship, for everything.

"Anytime," she says with her customary smile and we finally exit the room together.

Everyone's already lined up and waiting to walk forward into the middle of the Pit. It's weird to see our two worlds together, mine on one half and Eric's on the other. Most of them are fighters, all shirtless just like he is supposed to be. I hear 'A River Flows in You' begin to play and the first pair moves forward: Lynn and Trent. I watch the pairs go one by one until the only ones left before me are Coraline and Four. It really did surprise me when Eric decided to have Four as his best man. They have grown closer since the attack, it seems. They're still as competitive as ever, but the hostility has left completely. I wonder if they could have always been this way, had they started off on better footing together. Coraline and Four start to walk and I wait for the change in the music that will signal my turn. I hear 'Falling Slowly' begin to play and I move forward. I wanted this song so much. Even if the lyrics won't be playing, it still speaks to me:

_I don't know you_

_But I want you_

_All the more for that_

It's the way it all started; we knew nothing about each other but fell into each other so fast. We lived as if our time had run out, only to find that we really would have a lifetime. And now, I slowly move down the aisle towards him to guarantee it. I move for the man I wanted to be mine: Eric.

I take in what's around me for the briefest moment. The black aisle that I tread on, the black chairs that everyone sits on; I still don't know how Dauntless has so many. The dark streamers and flowers that decorate the whole of the Pit; it took from eight in the morning yesterday until a few hours ago to set all this up. I see the smiling faces of Dauntless I don't know stare at me with nothing but congratulations in their eye. They're all in their best: tattoos and piercings brazenly showing, hair bright and wild. I do spot a dot of red in them; Jaya. She may be attempting an insult but I don't care. She doesn't matter today; this is my time.

I focus my attention completely on Eric. I see him, waiting for me at the end of this aisle that seems to go on for an eternity. His smile is as bright as the sun itself and it illuminates my path. I can see nothing but him now; I don't need to anyway. He's all that matters at this moment. I just have to reach him. I travel further up the aisle and I can't help but notice the familiar faces in the sides of my vision. Andrew and Natalie in a grey suit and dress respectively, smiling and bowing as I pass. Johanna Reyes beside them in a red and yellow dress that makes her look absolutely beautiful. Cara is next to her in a blue dress, beaming. Then Jack Kang is next to her in a black and white suit, all smiles. Next to him is Harrison, shirtless like many others in attendance and grinning like the boy he is at heart. I pass the next row where Alex and Uriah are; they're both close friends, but closer to me than they are to Eric. Uriah whistles as I pass by and I have to stop myself from laughing. I come to the last row and there's my mother on one side and Varro is on the other. My mother looks wonderful in her loose blue dress and is still shedding tears from earlier. Varro is in tight Dauntless black, his eyes shining with a grin on his face. Eric was right to ask him to stand in place of a parent. He is family and I'm so happy to have him here.

I finally reach the raised platform that Eric is on go up the steps to join him. We stand under the black arch decorated with more orchids and lilies. Our groomsmen and bridesmaids flank us on either side, lined up so that they curve down the steps. Tori is beside us, smiling in her long black dress. Eric and I look at each other and we each smile, waiting for Tori to have everyone sit. He really looks so amazing right now; I'm fairly sure he had his tattoos retouched for today, because they're practically jumping off his skin and they look more mesmerizing than usual. His piercings are all black gold, matching the ones I wear. He may not look too different from usual, but he still looks like a god to me.

"Take your seats." I'm surprised at how quiet everyone's stayed. There's some whispering going on, but it is, for the most part, silent. I would never have expected such a thing from Dauntless. I hand my bouquet to Coraline and take Eric's hands. They're so warm and strong; toughened by months at the gym. The fingers long, easily enclosing mine. They feel like they were made to go together with mine.

"Welcome everyone to the union of two of our bravest Dauntless, Audrey and Eric," Tori says, "They've amassed the courage to take the next step in life and join in matrimony. It takes bravery to pledge yourself to a person and know that they'll forever hold a part of you with them. And that bravery is fueled by love. A love that burns in your heart stronger than any fire man has ever seen. As they come together, they'll each let go of their pasts as individuals. They'll also have to go through a future that will at times seem like heaven and others like trial by fire. Their first trial is here." At that, we're lead over to another platform that has been split in half by a pit of flames. Dauntless tradition has the couple jump over to represent how they'll overcome all trials together. I find myself sighing with relief that the flames are low, otherwise the bottom of my dress might catch.

"Ready?" Eric says with a smirk as we stand a few feet away from the flames. I nod and we take a running start together. At the last second, Eric lifts me up and jumps and we're over to the other side. I can't help but giggle at him; this isn't what we rehearsed, but I'm much happier with this. The guests erupt in cheer; they slowly die down as we walk back to the arch. I take these moments to relish in the fact that we're almost officially married. There's only two more steps after this.

"They'll also find that their love has to be treated like a fire. It has to be tended to and taken care of. Fed not by coals, but by action; by what you each do together each day. If neglected, it will burn itself out. If fed, it will grow and keep them warm even on the coldest of days. Now, they will make but a small shadow of this fire and spark a flame together." She brings forward a bowl full of coals and presents each of us with stones, just like the earliest of our ancestors once used. I know that the coals have been utterly soaked in lighting fluid, but I can't help but feel a little nervous; I don't believe in superstition, but it's supposed to be bad luck if you can't light it on the first try and I want everything to be perfect.

"On three," Eric says, his smile giving me reassurance, "One, two, three." We strike our stones at the same time, causing sparks to fly. The bowl is immediately engulfed in flames; we did it. I smile as I watch the flames dance. The bowl is moved out of the way and now there's only one thing left to do.

"Finally, the couple will now exchange vows and rings." Four takes the rings out of his pocket and gives them to us. They're black gold with fire etched into them. They may not contain jewels, but the flames match those of the engagement ring I wear. They're absolutely beautiful.

"I, Eric Matthews, hereby pledge myself to Audrey Kilbourn. I will love her and protect her. I will always stand by her and never back down in cowardice. I will face every day of our lives together with bravery and know that no matter what I am never alone for we are one." The warmth in his eyes is all the promise I need. My heart flutters beneath my chest as it takes in every word and spreads it to the rest of my body. He slides the metal band up my finger. Once on, I feel absolutely complete in every way. I am his now.

"I, Audrey Kilbourn, hereby pledge myself to Eric Matthews. I will love him and protect him. I will always stand by him and never back down in cowardice. I will face every day of our lives together with bravery and know that no matter what I am never alone for we are one." I speak through tears as I deliver my vows. I didn't want to, but I can't help it. I'm speaking words that have never been truer. I take Eric's hand and slide on his ring. I feel even more tears come, because this is it. We're officially husband and wife.

"I now declare you two husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Even Tori has some tears in her eyes now. She steps back as Eric and I close what little distance was between us. He laces his fingers with mine and kisses me; this is easily the best kiss I have ever received from him. Sweet and gentle yet somehow filled with passion. It takes me a moment to finally hear the applause of the guests who are all on their feet and finally sounding like true Dauntless. They're so loud I can barely hear 'Sweet Disposition' play for the recessional. I don't care, though, because Eric and I are heading back down the aisle, fingers still intertwined. I'm so happy that I find myself laughing as we go; I can't help but notice he is, too. Right when we reach the end, he takes me in his arms and kisses me one more time, eliciting louder cheers from the crowd. Then we disappear into the hall together to wait for the reception.

**A/N: And they're officially Mr. and Mrs. Eric Matthews. Hooray! I love weddings :') Anyway, this one is a little shorter than usual, but I have some neglected homework to catch up on, but look forward to the reception! Also, poll for Eric's POV chapter will close on the 13th at 2pm so vote while you can ^_^**


	14. Chapter 14

"We did it." I kiss Eric, still unable to believe that I'm his wife. I am Mrs. Audrey Matthews now; he gave all of himself to me, even his name. I don't even notice everyone filter in. We're given our moment, before the rest of our bridal party enwraps us in a hug.

"All according to plan," Coraline says with a smile.

"It was perfect," I say to her and Christina. Christina definitely doesn't have to worry about planning her own wedding; if she was able to pull this off in about a month, I can't wait to see what she can do in eleven of them.

"You were perfect," I hear my mother say as she goes to hug me.

"She's right," Varro says with a bright smile on his face.

"And you were passable," he says to Eric with a laugh. Eric chuckles a bit and gives him a hug.

"I'm not the one they were supposed to watch, anyway," he responds with a laugh.

"Well, you looked good, anyway," my mother says, pulling him into an embrace as well and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Okay everyone, picture time," Christina says as the photographer begins to move all of us around. He starts out by taking pictures of the guys. They successfully take only one serious picture before they all start flexing for the camera; they look so ridiculous that Coraline, Christina, Tris, and I are all dying of laughter when they finally say it's our turn to take photos. We start out with the usual bride in the middle, everyone smile at the camera. Then the photographer tells us that we can do whatever we want, so the girls all surround me and point to my stomach. I place my hands around my growing belly and smile for the photo.

"And now for a Dauntless one," Coraline says and everyone puts on the sternest expression they can make and goes into a power stance. I feel domineering and ridiculous all at the same time and the guys are just laughing away.

"Let's have the pairs now," the photographer says and he starts to take pictures of Lynn and Trent together. For a moment I'm scared that Lynn is going to punch him or Trent when he insists Trent put his arm around her waist. But I can't help but see how beautiful she is in a dress. I never saw her in one until today; she refused to let anyone see her when she tried hers on. After the pictures of the entourage are done, it's time for Eric and me. We start out with a picture of us holding hands and I'm thrilled that I'll have something to hold onto after all of this is over. Next, we're closer with Eric behind me, his hands around my waist; we take one picture still facing the camera and another where we're facing each other, so close I can feel his warm breath on my lips. Then, I'm finally allowed to turn and actually kiss him and I wonder if all that I'm feeling can really be captured in this picture. This is one of the greatest moments of my life and I feel like the photos will never truly do it justice.

"Wedding party," the photographer says and everyone lines up. It's hilarious to watch us go from serious photographs to utter chaos. I don't know who came up with the idea, but someone thought it would be clever to pose a fight. Needless to say, the fake fight poses became fake hits, which almost ended in a real fight. Thankfully, it was mostly the guys who got a little too caught up in it, so we didn't have to fix any dresses. Even if we had to, I almost wouldn't mind; it would've been memorable.

"Now, if we could get the bride and groom with their family," the photographer says and my mother and Varro move to each side of us. I feel my mother's hand on my shoulder and find that I'm starting to get lost in my own feelings again. I'm so happy and I'm surrounded by everyone I love and I really don't want to start crying again. The photographer starts to take photos of my mother and me and I can't help but think that this is the only photo we have together. The only other one is the one with my parents and myself. So much has changed since then. I've grown up now, left the house, and now I've gotten married and will soon have a baby girl of my own. All in the span of sixteen years…It's Varro and Eric's turn to be photographed together now and it goes the way I expected it to. They start off serious, standing side by side. Then Varro lightly nudges Eric and they go back and forth until they're openly shoving each other and laughing with a light punch or two thrown in. They really could be related, the way they act. We're finally done posing for the camera; it's time for the reception. We head over to The Club; it was closed for the day and Becca said that we could host the reception there. We go through the back way in order to avoid the crowd of drunken Dauntless that are now swarming the Pit and so we can get ready to present ourselves all over again.

"Second round," I say to Eric with a smirk. He quickly gives me a kiss and pulls me closer.

"Then we'll be free," he says with a glint in his eyes. I smile back and wait for the music to begin. I can hear the voices of our guests wafting over; it sounds like everyone's here now. We're going to start soon. Then, I hear 'Gone, Gone, Gone' start to play and everyone starts moving forward just like before. Soon, it's just Eric and me.

"Ready?" he asks. He doesn't need to, I've already started moving.

"And now presenting, the bride and groom, Eric and Audrey Matthews!" I hear Becca say over the speakers and the room erupts into applause. We line up with the rest of the bridal party for even more pictures and then head over to the wedding party table. I look around at all the decorations. I've never seen the club like this; it's like a smaller version of the Pit. All black streamers and orchids all around. It's absolutely beautiful. I'm also really glad that we decided to serve food first; I haven't eaten all day and I need food right now. I try not to let my hunger show as I start to eat, but I can't help but notice Eric watching me and laughing every now and then.

"What's so funny?" I thought I was being perfectly controlled.

"The way you're eating," he says, "It's mechanical. You never eat like that." He laughs and it's contagious.

"Well, you're not the one who has to be a proper lady right now."

"Since when were you a proper lady?" he asks with a smirk. I punch him under the table and he chuckles a bit while I start eating like a normal person. I doubt anyone's watching me eat now. We finish our food and out of nowhere, I hear someone start to tap their glass. The noise spreads through the room until I'm surrounded by the tinkling of glass. Eric grabs my chin and pulls my face up to his and kisses me; I'm initially taken by surprise, but I get over it and move my hand to the side of his face, keeping him close. I hear whistles and applause when I pull away.

"I think it's time for cake," I say with a laugh and I lead Eric over to our wedding cake. Uriah did an amazing job; it looks exactly like I wanted it. Three layers with orchids and lilies on each layer with a smaller version of Eric and myself on top. They're so perfect and accurate, I'm extremely impressed. We pick up the knife that was provided for us and I almost don't want to cut the cake it's so beautiful. But we bring down the knife on its perfection and cut out a slice. We each grab a piece of the cake, but I can't help but notice just how big of a piece Eric decided to grab. I feed him my piece first and he even licks my fingers once again causing a few voices in the crowd to whistle. He feeds me his piece and my mouth is completely full of cake. I have chipmunk cheeks and he's just laughing away. I swallow, grab more cake from the plate, and smear it on his cheek; he's not the only one who can have fun with the cake.

"You missed," he says with a laugh as he takes it off and puts it in his mouth.

"I'll help," I say and lick off some icing that was left behind and kiss his cheek; there's more than one way to have fun with this cake. We finish cutting the cake and start to serve everyone. It's also during this time that everyone congratulates us one by one. We're bombarded with hugs, kisses, and tears as we pass out the slices to each of our guests. We finally grab a slice ourselves and head back to the table. Eric finishes his first and steals a bite from my fork.

"I was eating that," I say.

"And I intercepted it," he says with a laugh.

"Get your own cake."

"What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine," he says as he kisses my cheek. It acts as a good distraction for him to steal more of my cake.

"You're terrible," I say with a laugh, "Using affection for theft."

"Sorry," he laughs and gives me a kiss without taking any more cake this time. However, it does start up another round of tinkling glass. This time, I pull him in for a kiss and he strokes my cheek. When we let go, I realize I'm probably going to get a lot of applause tonight.

Now that the cake's done, a microphone is handed to Four; it's speech time. He clears his throat for a moment before speaking.

"Evening everyone, I'm Four and I was chosen to be the best man. When I was asked to be Eric's best man, I was stunned. You see, Eric and I met each other during our Initiation over three years ago. We were constantly competing for the top spot and to say we disliked each other would have been an understatement. We stayed that way for three years until Audrey came along. When she and Eric first started flirting, I was convinced there was something wrong with her. But it seems she was able to see something I never could. Because of her, I found that the person I had always been combating was more like myself than I thought possible. And, thanks to her, over the course of four months, we've found ourselves becoming great friends. But none of that would have happened if it weren't for Audrey. She's a great woman who's found herself a great guy. So, I'd like to raise a toast to them to celebrate their marriage. Congratulations." The room fills with applause and the clinking of glass then the microphone is passed over to Coraline.

"Hello, I'm Coraline and the maid of honor. Audrey and I first became friends during Initiation which is also when she and Eric caught each other's eye. We came together immediately and supported each other in everything from the stages of Initiation to each other's love lives. So, as soon as I caught wind of their affections, I shipped it immediately. I wanted them together so much I even started to call them 'Audric.' That is how much I wanted to see them come together. And it wasn't without its fair share of difficulties. But if they could make it through the stress of Initiation, an attack, and outside interference, I doubt there's anything they can't do together. So, I raise another toast and another congratulations to the lovely bride and awesome groom. May they have the happiness they deserve." I'm teary eyed from her speech. She and Four may have given trademark-Dauntless short speeches, but we don't waste words. We say what needs to be said and I know they said it all.

"To provide us with more entertainment," Becca says, "The bride and groom will lead us in the first dance." Everyone starts to cheer again as Eric and I make our way to the dance floor. He takes me in his arms and I hear "Somewhere Only We Know" play and I start to sway with Eric. He didn't want to practice dancing at all, so I'm surprised that he actually knows a few steps. He twirls me around and we continue to move together when the music changes. "We Found Love" starts to play and Eric starts moving us in a swing step, spinning me all over the place. I have no idea when or where he learned to do this. He flows throw the twirls and dips so smoothly, there's no way he could have learned all this in a month. I'm only keeping up because of my old Erudite obsession with dance. We ends by dipping me so I'm practically on the floor. I hear everyone clap, but I still can't believe what just happened. He gives me a quick kiss and pulls me back up, smirking the whole time.

"Where did you learn that?"

"Went through a crash course to surprise you," he says with a smile, "That style was the least boring out of all the other options." I can't help but laugh; this is the second pleasant surprise he's given me and I can't help but wonder if he has anything else hidden up his sleeve.

We stay in the center and watch as everyone slowly fills in the dance floor. It's completely full of half-drunk Dauntless when I notice some color in the crowd. Johanna seems to have convinced Jack to join her on the dance floor. She's doing a dance with more sway and rhythm; it reminds me of video recordings of tribal dances. Jack seems rather lost at first, but starts to follow the pattern of her movements. I also eventually find Cara with Will and Christina; she seems to be catching on fast. My mother is chatting with Varro right now on the side of the dance floor; I can't help but notice how naturally they talk together. I look around and see Four and Tris dancing, but Tris keeps looking over to her parents who are sitting; from what I understood, this is her first time seeing her father since she left. I expected her to speak with him. I leave Eric with Alex and Coraline and go over to where she is.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, I just…don't know if I should go over there." It's not normal for me to see her like this. She's usually so confident.

"I'm sure that you should," I say and I bring her over to them. She's blushing and Andrew's gone stiff.

"Natalie, would you join me on the dance floor?" I think Tris and her father should be alone and I think Natalie is following my thoughts.

"It would be selfish of me to refuse a bride on her wedding day," Natalie says and she follows me over to the dance floor. The way she moves, it's obvious that she came from here. But she and I keep sneaking peeks of Tris and Andrew. She's sitting at the table with him right now, but neither of them have said anything yet. Andrew is the first one to speak and Tris looks surprised. She responds, but I don't know what she's saying. He says something else and she blushes. She has a smile on her face when she speaks again, so it must be going well. Andrew faces her and says something and Tris looks like she's ready to cry; I hope it wasn't something bad. But then she hugs him and he hugs her back; awkwardly at first, but then closer. Natalie and I smile to each other.

"I think I've made you go against norms long enough," I say and Natalie hugs me and goes over to her husband and daughter. I cease watching and go back to Eric; this is their time.

We dance together for a while before Christina leads me away from the floor and up to the platform that Becca is on.

"Alright, time for the bouquet toss!" she says, borrowing Becca's microphone. I see ladies move onto the floor and see that Cara is among them. I can't help but wonder if she'll be okay; in Dauntless tradition, it's acceptable to literally fight for the bouquet. I turn around and toss it behind me; I hear a yell from behind me and turn to see who got the bouquet or if I'm going to see some bloodshed at my wedding. However, Tris seems to be the one who caught it and I don't see anyone challenging her anytime soon. She's blushing, but her face is glowing with victory at the same time.

"Might want to take the hint, Four!" I hear Uriah shout. Four just gives him a shove as Tris laughs.

Eric walks over and helps me down from the platform and leads me over to a chair that was moved to the center of the dance floor.

"My turn now," he says with a smirk and I'm already turning red; it's time for him to remove my garter. I sit in the chair as he gets on his knees. He places his hands on my hips and slowly slides them down my legs and I'm completely embarrassed. It also doesn't help that my mother is watching and laughing as Eric takes my right ankle and place it on my shoulder. He lifts my skirt and goes underneath and I can hear Uriah and Zeke hooting and hollering along with everyone else. I don't even see him smirking, but I absolutely know he is as I'm sitting here blushing. I feel his teeth graze me as he takes hold of the garter and slowly slides it down my leg; I wish he would take it off faster, but he seems to really be enjoying this moment. He finally emerges and slides it off of me. He twirls it around his finger with a look of triumph and as embarrassing as that was, I'm laughing. He pulls it back and slingshots it into the crowd where it hits Alex in the face. He picks it up and looks at it for a moment before quickly handing it to Four; I doubt Four would do anything, but Alex doesn't seem to want to take that risk.

The reception continues and we dance with everyone over the course of the night. I also have the privilege of seeing a slightly drunk Jack give Johanna a kiss on the cheek. I would never have believed it if I didn't see it. I can't help but wish that inter-faction relationships were a thing; I really want to set them up together. Cara also is somehow goaded into a dance off with Coraline and wins. Cara, at some point, figured out the basics of popping; she has great muscle control, as if the dance were made for her. But I think my favorite moment was when Tris got her father off his feet for a dance; I think this is probably the first and last time I'll ever see any Abnegations dance. But as the night winds down, it's time for Eric and me to go. Everyone lines up on either side of the aisle that we're going to walk down with a bag of rice. We start out at a fast walk but end up running down. Eric tries to cover me, but we're being pelted by small pellets of rice, which can actually sting when thrown hard enough it seems. Someone, I'm fairly sure Uriah, decides to not untie their bag and just throw the whole thing; thankfully Eric blocks it and we're out the door. Laughing, we head over to our apartment to begin our honeymoon.

Eric lifts me up and carries me through the door. It turns out Coraline and Christina have decorated the room for us. There's petals leading over to the bed and spread on top of it and I can smell incense in the air. The atmosphere is perfect. As soon as he sets me down, Eric puts his lips to mine, removes the veil from my hair, and tosses it to the ground. I return his enthusiasm and move my hands down to his belt, extremely glad that he's already shirtless. But he stops my hands, which takes me by surprise. He places his hands on my waist, lifting me and I instinctively put my legs around him. I take his face in my hands and kiss him from my perch. He smiles, carries me over to the room, and brings me down to the bed. He starts kissing around my neck and chest and I move my hands to his belt again; this time he doesn't stop me. I unclasp it and unbutton his pants, pulling them down as he kicks them and his shoes off. I go to pull his boxers down, but he pins my arms to the bed before he turns me over. I feel him unzip my dress and he kisses the back of my neck as he slides it off. I'm almost completely naked, but I'm warmer than I've felt all night. I turn back over and pull him further on top of me, drawing him in with a deep kiss. I remove his boxers as he moves his hand down to my underwear.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

It may not be our first time together, but this moment is just as sweet. It's our first time as husband and wife and I've never known something as amazing.

**A/N: Sorry this took a while. I think my teachers are trying to kill be by burying me alive in homework :p Curse collegiate life *angrily shaking fist***


	15. Chapter 15

We're given a week of bliss together before we have to return to reality. I sigh when I wake up, disappointed that today is the day I finally have to go back to work. I keep my eyes shut and bury my face in Eric's chest, willing time to stop so I don't have to leave. He just chuckles, pulls up my face, and kisses me.

"Morning, my lovely wife," he says, our newest morning tradition. I love it when he says that: wife. It's one of my favorite words for him to say. The very sound of it is filled with a hundred kisses, a thousand caresses, a lifetime of happiness and all of it for me.

"Morning, my darling husband," I say, my lips pulling up into a smile all on their own. He moves down to my stomach to kiss it; the second tradition.

"Morning, my beautiful daughter." Daughter is another one of my favorite words for him to say. It's one of my favorite words to say. I feel like each time we say it, we're making another connection and further strengthening the bond that has formed between our baby and us. I still can't believe she's already at thirteen and a half weeks. A little over twenty six weeks left until I get to see her beautiful face; until Eric and I are officially our own family.

"Think we'll be missed if we stay in?" I don't want to leave our little haven just yet. A week of no work and only Eric has left me quite spoiled.

"If we do, they may start to think we disappeared," he says, getting out of bed and drawing me up. It's rare for him to be the responsible one. But he probably misses the gym by now and with another fight coming up next month, he has to prepare.

"Fine," I say with a groan and start to get dressed. I make my way over to the kitchen and make breakfast.

"What does our daughter want today?" Eric asks as he sneaks behind me, enwrapping me in his arms.

"Chocolate chip pancakes," I say with a smile. We've found that it's easier for Eric to just eat along with my cravings than have me cook breakfast twice. He laughs and takes his plate.

"She's developing quite the sweet tooth," he says with a smile, "Maybe we should just name her Candy." I can't help but laugh. We still haven't settled on a name and it's become sort of a game for us. We have to think of a name somehow connected to the topic of the previous one.

"Over my dead body," I say, "We're not naming her after food. If you want her named for sugar, at least have it be Andrea for Andreas Marggraf." He scoffs.

"The guy who discovered sugar? Boring. Why not Leah for Bruce Lee, discoverer of Jeet Kune Do?"

"Leah barely sounds like his name. And if we're going with martial arts, why not name her Jiu Lee for Brazilian jiu jitsu and Bruce Lee?"

"And how will anyone ever spell that? If we're naming her for an art, let it be Kali for the Kali style of martial arts." I don't like the origin, but I like the sound of it. I'll give him this one.

"Maybe," I say, giving him a kiss, "Anyway, it's time for us to go." We used up quite a bit of time on our game, so I quickly just dump our plates in the sink.

"I'll get to those later," he says as we head out the door.

"I trust that you will," I say. He may be irresponsible sometimes, but he always makes sure to do the dishes. As he said, if he's going to eat my food, he can clean it, too. We've only been married a week, but I've been living as a pampered wife for much longer and I love it. We head over to the gym together, holding hands. I can't help but run my thumb over his wedding ring; I love to feel the cold metal and know that it's just another thing to bind us together. We walk through the doors and are met by shouts.

"He lives!" "You didn't die!" "Get kidnapped or were you just bound up?" "Didn't get too lazy did you?" They have quite the sense of humor. I laugh along with Eric and give him a kiss. I exit, but not before catching sight of Jaya; she seems to be ignoring us as much as she can. Maybe she's finally started to learn. I head over to the meeting room and take my place.

"Welcome back," Tori says with a smile, "Harrison, would you like to let Audrey know what happened during the House meeting?"

"I'd like to say how impressed I am that you've been doing that for two months and haven't died of boredom or gone insane," he says, "Otherwise, nothing really happened. We passed some budget stuff, turned down some stuff, and as far as the factionless go, we got nowhere." I love his summaries. He can give a good explanation when he feels it's important, but for stuff like this, his responses can be quite entertaining.

"Thank you," I say, "So, nothing's changed for now?"

"Nothing has," he says, "We just argued a bit on how exactly we'll enact their demands, but I think you'll get more done at the meeting in three days. Otherwise, things are almost all settled for the conference in one week."

"Alright," I say, "Have I missed anything else?"

"The police force is running smoothly," Tori says, "They've adapted well to the stun guns and spray, but haven't really needed to use them. Since the armistice has begun, all of our calls have usually been about disruptive teenagers or false alarms. Though we have seen a rise in the reporting of all sorts of assaults within factions." That sentence hangs in the air for a moment. I never knew the factions had been hiding something like that. When the police didn't exist, there were rumors, but nothing was ever confirmed. We still had crime, but it was glossed over. People usually kept their mouths shut unless it was something big enough to concern the faction.

"At least they're coming forward now," I say, "But we can't just leave them. I'll talk with the house and see if we can start shelters of some sort." I can't stand the thought of someone being stuck with the person who's attacked them.

"We could make one here," Harrison says, "There's no place safer if protection is what they need."

"But what about our own faction," I say, "We can't be the only ones without any."

"Sadly we're not, but I can't think of anywhere else we can keep them."

"Maybe Amity," I say, "They're the most peaceful faction there is and they're behind the fence. There's no way an old attacker can get to them and we can have a police caller installed wherever they are just in case."

"They don't have any cases either," Tori says, "Run it by Johanna and the house."

"Any other news?"

"No, it's been rather quiet. We're slowly piling up more and more paperwork, though." She's right. Thanks to the police force and Erudite development co-op, we've slowly seen an increase in our paper work load.

"Then let's call the meeting adjourned and get writing." I say with a groan, I really don't want to go back to paperwork.

"I was hoping to use up a few more minutes with this," Harrison says with a sigh as he exits. I head over to my office. I haven't been here in a while, but I notice that a decoration has been added: there's two jars of ashes with a white ribbon tied around them.

"They're the remains of your fire," Tori says. I didn't even notice her come in. "Tradition says that you and your husband keep them. So you'll remember that even when something draws to an end, there's something left behind. Even if that something is a shadow of what once was. So even if one of you ever passes away or something happens in the future, you'll always have your memories." It's a sad yet beautiful thing. I pick one of them up and gaze at the contents within.

"Thank you," I say, "I'll make sure Eric gets one."

"You're welcome," Tori says with a smile and she heads out, leaving me in the office alone. I set the small jar in my hands on a table near the door, so I won't forget it when I leave. Then I move the other jar next to a picture of Eric and myself; I'll place it by a wedding photograph of us when the photographer finally finishes developing them. I take a seat behind the desk and try to get some work done. I'm there for six hours but it feels like six hundred. When I finally leave, I head over to the gym; Eric would usually have left by now, but because he's been gone for so long, I doubt he has. Sure enough, I find him working with the speed bags.

"Crazy kid's been doing that for the past hour," Varro says, "I think you might have accidentally broken him." He laughs like he always does.

"I haven't broken anything," I say with fake indignation, "How could you so cruelly accuse me of that."

"Never aspire to be an actress," Varro says with a laugh, "And if anything, you've fixed him more than anything." He says that last part with a smile, but I know he's serious.

"Thank you."

"Alright, don't get too sweet on me or the boy'll get jealous," he says with a laugh, "I'll go wake him up." He strides over to Eric and smacks the back of his head. Eric's trance is broken and he rubs the back of his head and gives Varro a look. Varro just points over to me and Eric smiles and runs over.

"How about you get me from now on," he says.

"Alright, I'll be the one to hit you next time," I say with a smile.

"How about something a little sweeter." He brings his lips to mine. It's a little salty from his sweat, but there's something so alluring about it that I love it. He simply tastes like man right now.

"We can discuss it over food," I say and I push him over to the locker room. It takes a few minutes for him to come out. I give him a quick kiss on the cheek and take his hand to go to the Dining Hall. When we sit at the table, we're given a small cheer.

"Nice of you to join us again," Coraline says with a smirk, "I hope you two liked my gift." She decided to give us two things. The first was a series of newborn outfits. The second was some lingerie. I wonder which she's referring to.

"We did," I say, "I'm sure they'll all be of good use." A lot of the gifts we got were baby things. We even received a crib, which is sure to come in handy. Otherwise Coraline's wasn't the only gag gift. Christina provided even more lingerie and I can't even think of Uriah's without laughing at the thought of him buying it.

"By the way, the shop we got the teddy bear from says they can add a name to it," Tris says, "Have you two thought of one yet?"

"We've been playing around with it a bit," I say with a smile, "But we haven't settled on anything." I don't know when we'll finally settle on a name, but I think we'll know it when we hear it. Our table converses amongst itself for a while. When we're done, Eric and I leave the table and head to our apartment.

"How many names do we have so far?" He seems to be caught on them like I am. We sit on the couch and I think for a moment.

"Five," I say, "Brianna, Beatrix, Arya, Toph, and Kali." We've gotten names from all over the place. Brianna, meaning bravery and strength. Beatrix, Black Mamba's real name in Kill Bill. Arya, the brave girl from A Song of Ice and Fire. Toph from a shared children's cartoon. And now Kali for a style of fighting. Eric sighs.

"I never thought it would be this hard. But do you really want any of those." I think for a moment. I think they're all beautiful names, but none of them really stand out as _the _name.

"No, it has to be something more special." Eric laughs and draws me closer.

"Well, if you want something special, then how about Elle. Her name will mean beautiful, just like she will be."

"But I want her to be more than beautiful. I want something strong, smart, and powerful. Something that shows all her potential…" It's not in line with our game, but I want so much from the name.

"Maybe Princess. They were known as strong, smart and powerful." He laughs a bit as I just sigh.

"No way."

"Does Goddess sound better for a name?" He asks with a smile.

"If we're going to name her for a goddess, how about Athena. Goddess of War and Wisdom?"

"I like Nane better." It doesn't have the right sort of ring to it.

"Alright, I want something serious."

"Well you want strong, smart, and powerful. How about Ajaxia?" I look to him for a moment. Ajax was the name of my father and he wants it to be the name of our first child. I love the name, but I want to make sure this is what he wants, too.

"Are you sure?"

"I wouldn't suggest it if I wasn't," he says with a smile. I smile back and give him a kiss.

"Ajaxia…I love it." It holds meaning in every way a name can. It's reminiscent of my father and carries his love. It holds strength, power, and intelligence for the warrior Ajax of the Illiad. It's a perfect name for our little girl. Eric cradles my stomach and leans down to it.

"Hi, Ajaxia," he says, "I hope you love your name. It means a lot to your mother and I." I smile and I don't know if it's my imagination, but I feel a sort of warmth from my stomach spread throughout me. It probably is, but I'll take it as a sign that she likes it, anyway.

**A/N: I'm going to post a new chapter tomorrow. I procrastinated on my homework too much but I will get the last bonus chapter done at some point tonight, promise!**


	16. Chapter 16

Today's the day; the factionless have held up their end and now we have to fulfill ours. As I get up, Eric attempts to hold me in bed.

"Morning my lovely wife," he says, giving me a kiss.

"And good morning my little Ajaxia," he says kissing my stomach.

"Do you have to be up this early?" His fingers hold onto mine and it's like I'm anchored down. I don't want to get up, but I have to.

"Christina's expecting me…" Just like the last time I was to work out a truce, I'm expected to show up as Five. The only difference is that this time around, I'm for show; a reminder of the might of the factions. All the other leaders will be there to show that we stand together on this. However, Andrew Prior will be acting as the mouth piece instead of Marcus Eaton; despite being the speaker for the upper house, it was decided that Andrew would be our voice.

"Fine. Don't take too long." He gives me and my stomach another kiss before rolling over and going back to sleep; I can't help but envy him for that. I sigh and throw on the first articles of clothing I reach. Christina's going to be redressing me, anyway, so there's no point in planning out an outfit. I grab a muffin from the fridge (I always keep some in there now) and head over to Christina's apartment.

"Welcome," she says with a yawn, "Ready for the greatest makeover ever?" She smiles and leads me inside. She hands me a series of hangars and a shoebox and I go to the bathroom to change. I put on the outfit and look at myself. I'm in a tight body suit that exaggerates my curves, but the design is far from a regular silhouette. Instead, it seems to have built-in armor. The collar is made of a stiff material; it doesn't choke, but it feels strong. I can feel the smaller bits of armor that run along my back, arms, everywhere, but none of it impedes my movements; it seems to have been designed to move with my form. It isn't even heavy, which is what surprised me the most. It feels as light as the fabric I was wearing earlier; maybe even lighter. Even the shoes are light. They're boots with a slight heel to them, but they're lighter than any pair I've ever worn. I look at myself for a moment and can't help but imagine myself as a fighter or warrior from the future. I laugh at the thought before exiting the bathroom.

"Like?" Christina asks with an expectant smile.

"Yes," I say with a smile, "Did you make this?"

"Yes," Christina says, brimming with pride, "The material was made by Erudite, though. It's lite, capable of stopping small rounds, and shock absorbent."

"Do you really think I'll need all that?" I'm just supposed to trade words, not bullets.

"It's more for intimidation," Christina says, "As soon as they see you, they'll never want to rebel ever again."

"Because I'm so threatening," I say with a smirk.

"And because you're so sexy," she says with a laugh, "Anyway, let's complete the look." She brings me over to the bathroom and starts with my hair. It takes her a solid hour before she says the word that I've been longing for.

"Done." I look in the mirror and my hair is shinier and brighter than it's ever been. It's down and curled at the bottom and while beautiful, it somehow sharpens the features of my face.

"Shouldn't I have it up?" I ask, "It would fit the whole futuristic warrior look."

"But it's much more striking down," Christina says, "And we need you to make an impression." I might as well go along with it. Up would be better in a fight, but I doubt one will occur.

"Make up, then?" I ask. I know this will be the longest part; it always is.

"Brace yourself." I just close my eyes and wait as she pokes, prods, brushes, smooths, and rubs. I end up losing myself in my imagination as I wait. I think of a time when we're not stuck in the city. Where I'm roaming the world as some kind of amazing warrior with Eric by my side. We travel around, visiting places I've only ever read of. The ocean, a large body of water that was apparently filled with salt and creatures as large as those in fairy tales. Traveling the land and seeing beasts whose noses could be used as hands. Cats large enough to eat a man. Animals with scales like a fish, but with either four legs or none at all. Trees as tall as the wall that encircles us. Flowers that are as large as my head.

"Open." My thoughts are broken by Christina and my fantasy slips away. I don't know how long I've kept my eyes shut, but when I open them, I don't recognize myself at all. My eyes are encircled by colour. Red, yellow, and orange perfectly blended around my eyes to make it look as though I'm staring out of fire. The eyeliner on top of my eyelids and under my eyes helps make them look further piercing. My lips are a glowing red that somehow reminds me of blood. I don't just look like a warrior, I feel like one.

"Christina, you are brilliant." That is the only compliment that I can think of. Leadership definitely won't be disappointed when they see this.

"I know I am," she says with a smile, "Now get going, before you're late." I hug her and head over to the train tracks. As I pass by the Dauntless in the halls, I'm met with looks of reverence I haven't seen in quite a while. Five the Flame Demon has returned, it seems, and boy do I like it. I walk outside and I'm met with a smile from Tori and Harrison.

"If you weren't married…" Harrison says with a boyish smirk. I just give him a shove.

"But I am."

"Well, if you ever reconsider," he says with a smile. Tori just flicks the back of his head.

"All ready for the conference?"

"Definitely. It's not exactly my first and I don't see it being very eventful."

"Then we'll be waiting for you in the meeting room," Tori says, placing a hand on my shoulder; a show of support and trust in Dauntless, "Be brave." As she finishes her sentence, the train pulls up and I run over and jump on. I can't help but notice that I not only was able to jump further than usual, I also didn't feel the landing at all. I'm liking this outfit more and more.

I look outside as I come closer and closer to the Hub. We're going to be holding the conference in our meeting room it seems. Outside, I'm surprised to see no one there. I had thought maybe a few factionless would show up to celebrate or something. Maybe they will later. I head up the elevator as I have so many times before. As I go into the room, I notice that there seem to be cleaners today. It throws me off, until I remember that today isn't the usual meeting day. They have to clean this place at some point. I head inside to find that everyone is already there, except for Edward.

"I see you're Five today," Johanna says with a smile.

"And don't forget it," I say with a smile as I cross the room to take my usual place between Jack and Cara at the circular table. I wait with everyone else when I hear the door click and Edward strides in, seating himself in the chair opposite me. His hair's grown a little longer and his outfit has changed, but what hasn't is the look in his eyes. He still looks like someone who would do anything for what they wanted.

"Welcome Edward," Andrew says, "I'll be speaking on behalf of the factions. As you know, we've had our differences, but we would like to restore peace between the factions and factionless. We've already taken some steps to foster this relationship, but we're eager to ensure a lasting state of tranquility." Edward just smiles over at Andrew. As he's about to speak, two cleaners come in with their carts. Everyone looks over at them with surprise.

"Sorry, we weren't expecting anyone here," one of them says with a blush.

"It's fine, this room is normally empty today," Andrew says, "It won't make a difference if you're here. Do your work." Selfless as always, he'd rather have them work and interrupt a government meeting to receive their repayment of food and clothing than be kicked out and leave with nothing. They nod and come inside, one parking their cart at one end of the table between Johanna and Jack and the other going between Andrew and Cara. They each start cleaning the wall on their respective halves.

"What were you saying, Edward?"

"Thank you," he says, "What are you willing to do?"

"We'll help restore the factionless section, acquiesce certain jobs that were previously held by the factions to the factionless, and give you all pay."

"That's very nice, but our objectives have changed," Edward says, "Or rather, we'd like to bring them to light." Everyone looks over at him in confusion. What on earth is he talking about?

"What is this new objective?" Andrew asks. The rest of us watch and listen intently.

"We would like equality. True equality. Not the illusion that's currently in place, but for everyone to be able to pursue their own dreams without a faction to crush them."

"You demand quite a lot," I say. I know I'm not supposed to speak, but the rules went out the window the moment Edward started speaking of anarchy. "We'll never agree to those terms. Just take our offer."

"We're not asking," Edward says with a primal smile, "We're telling. We don't need factions, their rules, or…their leaders." I hadn't noticed the cleaners make their way to the door. They run out and Edward follows them. I don't know what's going on. And what did he mean by not needing leaders. But then I look around and realize the cleaners have left their carts behind.

"Get do—" but I'm cut off by a blast. I hold my arms in front of my face as I feel myself lift up and slam against the wall before smacking onto the ground. Even with the built in armor of my outfit, the wind has been knocked out of me and my body aches from being flung against the wall. I open my eyes to find the room clouded with smoke and burning. I search my surroundings, but it's difficult. However, I can barely make out one of the cleaning carts; it's the one that was by Johanna and Jack. It seems one didn't go off; lucky for us, but I don't know how long our luck will last. I struggle to force myself onto my feet and stumble through the wreckage of the room and hope that I'm not the only survivor. I start by the end where the bomb didn't go off. I walk to that side of the room, continuously eyeing the cleaning cart. I want to get rid of it, but I don't want to touch it either. It could easily go off at any second. I start to look around the area when I see someone crumpled against the wall. I go over there to find Jack unconscious. He's bleeding a bit from his skull, but otherwise looks okay. I just don't know of any internal damage. I immediately try to wake him up and practically cry tears of joy when his eyes open.

"Jack!"

"What the hell just happened?" He looks around confused as he takes in the carnage around us.

"Jack, help me look for the others." I know he's probably in pain, but he just nods and starts to look around. I leave him to find Johanna as I search the other side for Andrew and Cara. I start to sift through wreckage when I stumble upon someone: Andrew…or at least what's left of him. I immediately check for vitals, something, anything, in some hope that maybe, just maybe, he held on despite his wounds, but find nothing. I get up from his side and start looking for more survivors; I don't have time for tears right now. Then I hear a moan. I quickly go to the corner I heard it coming from and find a burned and bloodied Cara. The right side of her face along with part of her right arm are severely burned, but she's still alive. I can still help her.

"Cara! Cara, stay with me, please…" Her left eye is barely open and all I get in answer is a moan.

"I have Johanna," Jack says with a bloodied Johanna leaning on his shoulder, "You take Cara." I nod and we head out of the room. There's nothing we can do for Andrew now and we need to get out. We head straight for the stairs and every step is as difficult with the last, but I move as fast as I can manage. I need Cara to get medical help now. Part of the way down, we're met by men and women in Erudite blue and Dauntless black.

"What happened?" a woman asks as she takes Cara and places her on a gurney, "We came as fast as we could, but the streets are anarchy right now."

"We were bombed," I say, "And what do you mean the streets are anarchy?" A Dauntless man steps forward.

"The factionless have started attacking, but they're not all barehanded. At least half of them have guns. We have no idea how they got them, but the police are trying to subdue them. We have them beat in fire power, but the factionless have strength in numbers. They're taking us down one by one." It seems we weren't the only ones preparing during the armistice, they were, too. But where could they have gotten guns? Then I think and realize there's only one way and it's our fault. They work the factories that make the guns and ammunition. It wouldn't be that hard to steal a gun part by part. No one would ever notice. It's utterly brilliant and at the same time utterly terrifying. The amount of time it would take to get half of their population guns would place this plan at least four months in the making; long before Abnegation was ever attacked…

"We'll have to put the city on lock down and regroup at Dauntless," I say, "But first, we need to get them all to the hospital. Radio the rest of the police force my commands." The Dauntless nod as the Erudite move Jack and Johanna on to gurneys as well.

"Please lie down," the woman from earlier says to me. I shake my head.

"I'm fine. Someone needs to help protect the cars." She just nods as I take a gun one of the Dauntless offer me, thankful that we at least have a well-equipped police force.

"Here, the cars are this way." She leads us to a lower level of the Hub where a series of cars are parked. We move everyone inside them and the Dauntless position themselves at windows while I do the same.

"Let's go," she says as our car leads the way, speeding out of the parking lot. When we're outside, I can barely recognize the city. There's at least two buildings on fire, but all around I can hear the sound of gunfire ring out. I focus on what's around me and the first thing I see is gunfire from a building right across from us that attacks our car. I return fire, satisfied each time I see one of the streams of bullets die out; I still haven't lost any skill. I count down the blocks it will take for us to reach Erudite. We get closer and closer, continuously coming upon factionless nests. By the time we're at the hospital, the side of the car looks like swiss cheese. I'm amazed we didn't get hit and thankful the factionless don't seem to be very good shots. At least they're not by Dauntless standards or we'd all be dead. We pull into a large garage that I know connects directly to the hospital. It shuts right behind our convoy, keeping the factionless at bay. I rush out with everyone else and head to the emergency room with the rest of them. Inside, I see my mother, frantically running around patients. When she sees me, she immediately holds onto me.

"Oh God Audrey, I thought I'd lost you." Her voice tells me of the tears in her eyes and I find myself crying, too.

"I'm here, mom. I'm okay." She's still holding onto me, but lets go enough to look at me.

"Go get on a gurney right now and let someone look at you," she says, moving her finger along a cut I didn't even notice. I nod.

"Alright mom." I don't have the same amount of adrenaline as before and I'm starting to feel the pain of my earlier crash against the wall. But as I sit, I feel something else that isn't right. Something wet. I stand and look at the gurney I was sitting on. The area where I was sitting has a small pool of blood. But I wasn't cut there. How can I be bleeding? Unless…no, please no. This can't be happening. This can't be real. I stare at the pool in horror and touch my pants between my legs. My fingertips come back with fresh blood.

"Mom…Mom! MOM!" I shriek her name and then I'm simply shrieking. I crumple to the ground in tears as my anguish claws its way out of my throat.

**A/N: Update either late tomorrow or early on Wednesday. I may have to permanently make my updates every other day. Curse you college!**


	17. Chapter 17

My mother is at my side, but I won't calm down. I can't. I don't know what's happening. I have a suspicion, but it can't be right. I can't even think of that. I can't think that there's anything wrong with my little Ajaxia. I have to have been hurt. Please just let me be hurt. I would rather find out my insides were shredded than lose my Ajaxia. My mother just holds me in her arms as I continue to scream. She says something and I feel a prick in my side. I don't care that I'd fading away. I never want to feel anything ever again.

I wake up in a hospital bed. I can't move or speak just yet. It must be a residual effect from what they gave me. As I lie there, I feel someone stroking my hair. I open my eyes to see my mother there, gazing down at me. She looks like she's in pain as she holds me. The way her eyes took into mine, it's like her most prized possession has been damaged. I wish I didn't know what she was feeling.

"Audrey…" She looks at me as though she has no other words. My usually eloquent mother can't think of something to say. Her mouth continues to open and close, like a fish out of water. Whatever she needs to tell me, she can't think of how.

"…baby." My baby. My Ajaxia. I need to know she's okay. She has to be okay. She's the only thing that matters right now.

"Honey…" my mother's voice breaks and tears well up in her eyes, "I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry." All it takes is those words to make the world fall down. She pulls me up into her arms, but I don't have the strength to hug her back. Instead, I curl up and rake my own face as if my own physical pain could make the hurt I feel inside go away. My mother tries to pull my hands away, tries to make me calm down, but I can't. Ajaxia can't be gone. I've seen her. I've felt her. I know her heartbeat as well as my own. That little rhythm couldn't have stopped. I refuse to believe that she suffered something as disgraceful as dripping out of my thighs just because I wasn't powerful enough to protect her. But it's true. She's gone and I can't deal with it. This cannot be reality because she is what held me to it. After a while, my mother just gives up and sedates me again, holding onto me as I slip once more into the darkness.

Each time I wake up, I'm put under again. I guess I've been deemed too high a risk to let remain awake. I don't even pay attention to what's around me; I only mourn. And what about Eric? How can I tell him that his beloved daughter, the daughter that he's been waiting for, is gone? How am I supposed to look at him as the glow of fatherhood leaves his eyes to be replaced by the pain of despair? I continue the cycle of sedation, hoping each time that maybe, just maybe, they'll give me a little too much and I can finally be at peace.

This time when I wake up, I actually notice that I'm not in the same room. The walls here are made of stone. I've been moved to the Dauntless compound at some point. My first instinct is to rage and scream. I can't be here. This is where I first learned of my baby. Where she waved to me. Where I heard her heart. But then, as fast as all the sorrow and disbelief built up in me, it's suddenly gone. As if I just filled up with so much of it, I finally burst. I don't feel anything now. I am blank. I am nothing. If only I could disappear. I look around to see that I'm not the only one here. A couple other beds are occupied. Of course, there's a war going on right now. I don't really care, though. Nothing matters now. I look down at myself to find that my wrists and ankles are strapped down. I don't bother to fight against the shackles.

"Audrey…" I look to my side and see Eric there. His eyes are red and he looks older than I've ever seen him.

"I should never have let you go," he says, coming closer to the bed and stroking my hair. His eyes begin to fill with tears, but I don't have any left to shed with him. I should be comforted by his presence. Feel some sort of warmth. But I can't seem to feel anything now. As he strokes my hair, I feel a dull ache in my heart, but that's it.

"Think you can take these off?" I don't need the restraints anymore. I've lost the will to fight.

"Do you promise not to hurt yourself?" He looks as if the words themselves hurt him. But I don't have the strength to comfort him.

"I promise." He works them off and kisses each binding. When he takes the last one off my wrist, I hold onto him. I feel like a shell. But when I have him, I'm less hollow. As I keep hold of him, he sits on the bed and then pulls himself all the way on, so he's lying with me. I curl into him and he wraps me up in his warmth. But it doesn't extend into me like it usually does. It's as if my body has built a barrier within itself. I just lie there and drift back into sleep as I feel Eric cry into my hair. The spark of life that was inside me has burned out and now so have we; we have both been reduced to ash.

I'm released from the hospital the next day. The doctor gives Eric sedatives for me, should I ever get out of control again. I doubt that's going to happen; I barely have the strength to walk out on my own. I trudge along, feeling like one of the zombies from the movies I'd watched with Eric. He leads me all the way back to the apartment. Once inside, I just lay on the bed and start pulling the blanket around me. Eric sits down next to me and places a hand on my head.

"Get some rest," he says, stroking my hair, "I've got to go." I can see in his eyes that he doesn't want to leave.

"Where?" If he's not by my side, it's like more of me is being taken away. I lightly hold onto his arm and he looks down at me with remorse.

"Dauntless meeting. You were gone for ten days. I filled in your spot during that time." Ten days…it doesn't even feel that long. I let go of his arm, resigned to the fact that he has to leave. I curl into the blankets of our bed, making a cocoon to hide from the outside world.

"I love you." But I don't respond. I don't have a voice anymore. I'm no longer a part of this world. I hear him exit the apartment and it isn't difficult for me to fall asleep. I don't mind sinking into the darkness now; maybe I'll finally get to stay there.

When I wake up, I don't bother to leave the bed. I just lie in it and stare at the ceiling. I don't think of anything in particular. I don't feel any emotion. I'm just…there. I hear the door open, but I don't bother to check and see who it is.

"Hey there, Audrey." I'd recognize that voice anywhere, but I've never heard so much pain in it. I turn from the ceiling to face Coraline. She smiles to me before it's replaced with tears. She comes over to the bed and pulls me to her, but I'm like a doll. I just flop around as she holds onto me.

"I heard," she says through her tears, "I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you're going through. But I'm here for you." I hear what she says, but I can't feel any of it. The barrier encasing my heart won't let her in.

"Thank you." I say the words I'm supposed to say. I try to put some sort of emotion behind them, but they come out lifeless. Coraline just holds onto me for a little longer before she regains her composure.

"Let's get you something to eat," she says with a painful smile. The old me's heart would have broken seeing that smile. Not anymore, though.

"I'm not hungry." I may feel empty, but I don't feel the need to eat…or do anything else, for that matter. I just want to be left alone. To exist without having to live. She pulls me to my feet, anyway and pulls me into the kitchen.

"I'll at least get you a snack," she says as she starts to rifle around the kitchen. I sit at the table and stare at the surface. I didn't even know she was done until a plate of fruit and a mug of tea appeared before me.

"Eat," she says. It's a demand, not a request. I start to pick around the plate; I eat, but I don't taste anything. She might as well have set dust before me. As I eat, the expression on her face shifts from pity to pain.

"Audrey, I know it hurts, but it'll get better." She takes my hand, but I just stare down at hers. She's right that it hurt, but it hasn't gotten better. Or maybe this could be seen as better. Who knows? Is being in pain better than feeling nothing at all? I don't have a response to give her. I can't see a 'better' in my future. But I can't just leave everyone to worry about me. I may not be able to feel, but I can't just watch everyone around me crack. I force my face to contort into some semblance of a smile.

"Maybe…" She returns with a smile shadowed by sorrow and we move over to the couch where she throws on a movie. We stay there like that for hours until Eric comes home. He just wraps me in his arms like he always does when we watch a movie, but I don't take any joy or comfort in it. I'm still an empty shell, but I'm trying to disguise it. I place my arms around his like I always have. I lean into him as I always do. But there's something missing the whole time.

It takes two weeks for me to perfect my mask, but I do it. I make myself function as close to normal as I can manage. I smile when I'm supposed to, laugh when I have to, cry when it's expected. I should have been an actress. The only one who I think may have caught on is Eric. The way he looks at me, I'm sure he knows, but he's just going along with it. There's nothing else for either of us to do about it. This is what we have to do in order to function. Or maybe he's hoping that my pretending will become reality. Or maybe he's given up already. I don't know.

I use the two weeks to figure out what's happened. The whole city went on lockdown as I ordered and now we're fighting the factionless in randomized battles in the streets. The fighting has calmed down somewhat since the first day. It's almost back to normal, except for the random firefights that erupt. Candor, Erudite, Dauntless, and even Abnegation have banded together to restore peace to the city. Contact was difficult until Erudite made an updated version of the police's radios and somehow delivered one to each faction. Amity, being Amity, has decided to remain neutral. They've decided to continue providing food to everyone and have named themselves a safe haven for anyone who doesn't want to fight. Because of this, there's been an unspoken agreement between both sides that Amity trucks are never to be attacked. It's difficult to keep up with the factionless, though. We never saw what was coming, really. There's more of them than we ever imagined and they're better equipped than we would like. Even if they're not well armed, there's still the sheer power of their numbers for us to deal with. It's not like we can just outright attack them, either. There are women, children, and other innocent bystanders to worry about and the factionless know it. They hide in crowds of them when things go bad, knowing we can't just open fire into a crowd. But the thing that jars me the most is the fact that I don't care about any of these facts. I should hate these people. Hate them with every fiber of my being for taking away my child, but even that doesn't push me to feeling.

I think of this as I head over to the meeting room with Eric. Even though I'm back, it was still decided that he would stay because of his knowledge of warfare. Jeanine didn't choose him for Dauntless just because he was her son, it was also because of his encyclopedic knowledge of past wars and strategy. He's the one who's running our army now. I mostly sit in now; I don't have an opinion to offer. Inside, I find everyone is already waiting for us.

"I need an update of recent events," he says. It's during this time that he unknowingly lets everyone see his typically hidden Erudite nature. He's completely concentrated, not a playful smirk to be seen.

"There have been three small firefights," Zeke says, "No casualties on our side, but there have been three wounded. Casualties on their side are unknown. They've started retreating with both their dead and wounded."

"The scouts have come back," Four says, "We have reason to believe Edward is hiding in one of these three buildings." He indicates a map of the city where I see three buildings in the factionless section have been marked by red X's.

"Continue to have soldiers searching for rebels," Eric says, "And make sure to remind them to use random paths. Otherwise, they're doing well." Then his eyes take a predatory turn.

"I want us to start putting three teams together. They're to be elite fighters, each led by both of you and myself. Attempt to take him alive, but if you have to kill him…don't make it fast." Four and Zeke both nod. Unlike me, Eric's channeled all of his anger into Edward. Each time he hears the name, he becomes tense with rage and whatever he happens to be holding breaks.

"By the way, Abnegation is still having trouble with factionless attacks," Tris says. She's been out for as much blood as Eric has and Abnegation's safety has become paramount to her.

"We'll pull some people off the wall to help increase security," Eric says, "And see if you can finally convince them to come here." Abnegation is easily the most vulnerable of the factions. We don't exactly want them here, nor do they want to come here, but it's starting to become a necessity. We're the best defended faction and we can't afford to place too many of our own with them. Having them here would be easier.

"I'll pick them out," Tris says and Eric nods his confirmation.

"Anything else?" he asks. But there isn't anything more to address. We're only concerned with the big decisions. The details can be settled by the commanders.

"Meeting adjourned," Tori says and we start to file out. As we exit, Eric takes my hand.

"We're so close to getting that bastard," he says. I don't know if he's talking to me or to himself. I just squeeze his hand; it's what he needs. But even in his anger, I can't help but see that bit of distance in his eyes that shows whenever he looks at me. We've both changed, even if we keep it hidden. It's only a matter of time before one of our masks crack.

**A/N: Sorry for the wait! Imma go do my homework now :p And I'm definitely going with updates every other day now. Any more than that and I can kiss a passing grade goodbye for all my classes.**


	18. Chapter 18

It takes another two weeks for Eric to find a team he deems suitable. Now, it's going to be three straight days of training before they go to storm the factionless sector and take Edward. So far, the city's been held in a stalemate. The fighting is sporadic just like before, with neither side really making any headway. At least we were able to evacuate Abnegation to Dauntless, with Amity's help.

During this time, Eric and I are together without truly being together. I still give him kisses, cook for him, eat with him, sleep in his arms, but there's something lacking. The connection we had before has been severed. No, not severed…just weakened. He's spending more and more time working and I'm not doing anything to stop it. I want myself to be selfish. To hold onto him. To wait for him. To need him. But I can't bring myself to do it. I can't force his support and give none of my own. I find myself sleeping before he gets home more often than not. We don't talk anymore either. He's become obsessed with his revenge, with this war while I…I've simply gone back to hiding in routine. Maybe he's right. That when Edward's gone everything will be okay. The thought has flashed across my mind. But something inside me tells me it won't be that simple. Things won't be the same so easily…I won't get back my heart just like that. Sometimes, I almost think I can feel something again. That after days of pretending, it's become the truth. But then I look inside just to find I'm still as empty as I was a month ago. That no matter how hard I've tried, I've lost more than I would care to admit.

I wake up to Eric leaving our bed. As I stir, I feel him plant a kiss on my forehead before continuing to get ready. He gave up any morning rituals already. There's no reason for him to kiss my stomach anymore. And as soon as that stopped, the rest slowly followed. Sometimes I wake up to find he's already left. I should be hurt, but the closest thing I get is a dull ache; a mere semblance of feeling is the most that seems to have been able to push its way through my heart's barrier. Once I'm awake, I don my mask and smile as I go about dressing and making breakfast.

"You don't have to. I have to go now." I stop what I'm doing and turn to face Eric. This isn't the first time he's had to leave without eating. He's already got a hand on the door, ready to go out and take another step to his revenge. As always, his face is distant; caught up in a future Edward's been erased from. I don't want to think that it's more than that; I don't want to believe that this distance is from something else.

"Alright, then." I want to keep him here, if only to not be alone with my thoughts, but I can't stop him.

"I also might not be back tonight." That one catches me off-guard. He may have come home late, but he's always come home. I guess he's going to take the next three days of training very seriously. I feel that ache again, but I don't let it show. I can't slip now, not after this long.

"Okay." The bed's not going to be as warm tonight, I guess.

"I love you."

"I love you, too." I watch him as he leaves and then turn back to the food. I haven't been hungry in a long time, so I simply throw it out, except for a piece of toast; I know that I still have to eat. As I'm eating, I can't help but subconsciously run my hand over my stomach. It takes me a moment to realize there's nothing there to feel. I nearly choke when I make the realization; even after a month I still make these mistakes before reality pulls me down. Not that there's much to mistake anymore; I've already lost all the baby weight and then some. But there's still something within me that hasn't let go. I don't think it ever will.

I decide that I'd rather not stay in the apartment alone. Being the only one inside just doesn't feel right. Having that much room to myself just reminds me of how alone I am. I head over to the Pit. Looking at it, it's almost difficult to believe there's a war going on. Even with all the fighting, Dauntless has managed to maintain its constant party atmosphere. I guess it's because, despite being the soldiers, we're also the most distanced from it. There has been no fighting on our turf; the factionless aren't foolish enough to try that. We have the advantage down here. The only entrances are tunnels that are heavily guarded. If they tried to storm us, they'd be running directly into fire with no cover; it would be suicide. I look down at the sea of black with the occasional grey dot dancing through. It still is odd to see them running around; then again, they've been here for less than a week. They've been spread all around Dauntless, placed wherever there was free space. At first, many of the Dauntless had bristled at their presence, but after a while, we got used to it. I've even seen a few younger Abnegation running around with the Dauntless before their parents caught them. But as I watched them, I kept getting that dull ache. I turn from the swarm of the Pit and walk towards the gym.

I enter the double doors to find it empty…or at least almost empty. No wonder, all the fights have been suspended. There's no advantage to beating each other up for entertainment when there's an enemy that would be happy to kill us. And the fighters are some of the most skilled Dauntless we have; they're quickly becoming elites on the battlefield. The only person there is Varro; this is the first time I've ever seen him working the bags himself. Watching him, I can see that the stories are true; he does look like he was a great fighter in his prime. He could probably still fight now. As I walk in, he looks over and takes one last swing at the bag before meeting me.

"There's my girl." He pulls me into a sweaty hug and I don't fight it. He's stopped by a few times, but we've never really talked or been alone before. I haven't exactly been the most sociable person. Now that I think about it, I almost never go out except when I have to…or when the apartment is too empty for my liking like now. I don't feel the ache as much with him here; the only one who can keep it away completely is Eric, but at least it's been dampened. I try to ignore the little bit that remains as I prepare myself to face him.

"Hey, Varro." I give him a smile, like I have with everyone else. I hope that it's good enough to convince him. There's always been something about him that seemed to be able to cut through the bullshit and I can't afford for him to see through me now. He smiles back to me, but it looks the same as the others'; pained. I'm failing; I am failing miserably before him. He leads me over to a bench and we sit.

"How're you doing, girl." I can see the genuine concern on his face and it almost makes me tell the truth. That I've been doing terribly. That I can't seem to feel any more. That the only reason I get up anymore is because it's expected of me. That I wish I could just disappear. But those aren't the words that come out.

"I'm holding up," I say with a smile that I hope looks like sincerity, "I'm dealing with it." Please don't let him see through the lie. I can't make him worry for me. I can't burden him with this. But I can tell by the look that he's giving me that I haven't convinced him. His face contorts and I know he's trying to think of the gentlest way to speak to me.

"Audrey, love, please don't do that," he says, "It's a disgrace to yourself. Now, say what you feel." I feel a crack form in my mask. I'm no longer smiling; it's been replaced by vacancy. I just can't keep the charade going. I let go of everything and my mouth forms the words I want to say all on their own. I would never have found them by myself, but it's as if there's something inside me that's calling out all on its own.

"But that's it…I don't feel. I can't anymore. It's like when she was taken from me…everything inside me left with her. I have nothing left now." I feel tears well up, but there's no feeling behind them. There's no driving force behind their presence, except maybe somewhere deep inside my body knows the power behind what I've said. Varro wipes the tears and draws me in. This is the closest I've been with anyone except for Eric in a long time. It's weird, but not unpleasant. As if I'm remembering something that was forgotten.

"You still have something," he says as he pets my head, "You have Eric. And your friends. And your mother. And me." I try to take his words to heart, but it still hasn't allowed itself to open. I sit in his hold and wonder just what it will take to unlock myself. When I first became like this, I didn't know if it was a blessing or a curse. I know the truth now; it's a self imposed curse to keep me from getting hurt and as hard as I've tried, I can't dispel it.

"But I can't let anything in…or out. I want to, but nothing's there." He sighs and draws me in more. I can't help but wonder if maybe this is what it would have been like to have a father. If this is the sort of scenario that would have played out in my life. But it's something I'll never know. Varro looks at me directly, the look in his eyes a reflection of my own.

"I know how you feel, girly, I really do. But it won't stay that way. You'll get it all back, eventually. And it may hurt, more than you thought anything ever could. But you'll also find some happiness somewhere. There always is, if you look hard enough." For the last lines, I don't know if he's talking to himself or to me. I can't help but wonder who he's ever lost. I don't really know anything about his life, really. He's one of the most understanding and caring people in my life, but I don't know about his beyond the gym.

"Who did you lose?" I can't keep the question from spilling out. He just gets a distant look in his eyes before looking back to me.

"More people than I would have liked," he says, "But I gained a few, too." He gives me a smile etched with sadness, but at least his is genuine. I don't know, maybe it's being with someone else who has been broken, but I feel a small portion of that empty feeling go away. He didn't tell me it gets better. He didn't say that I'll get over it. He told me the reality of the situation; that it would hurt. But he also told me that there'd be happiness. And if he could find it, so can I. I still can't seem to get myself to give into any emotion, but I feel closer to it than I ever have.

"Thank you." I don't force myself to smile. That would defeat everything that he just told me. But I know that as soon as I leave this room, I'll have to fix my mask and put it back on; I can't let everyone see me for what I really am. They probably already know, but I can't admit my own weakness just yet. I get up and he gives me a kiss on the forehead.

"Anytime, girly," he says, "And let the boy know I'm here for him, too." My thoughts catch on Eric: I should talk to him. Actually talk to him. We haven't really communicated since the loss of Ajaxia and I feel like he should know about what I've been going through. Maybe it will help us to rebuild some of what we've lost.

**A/N: Kinda late and kind of short. I have my first midterm coming up and it's for a class that's been kicking my ass x_x Needless to say, my roll is slowing. I'll try to update on Sunday/early Monday. Fanfic Gods, give me strength. Actually, chapter definitely won't be done until Monday. I've been working on Chem E. for three hours. I'm on problem two...there's eight problems.**


	19. Chapter 19

As I walk through the halls, I try to find the words to tell Eric, but nothing seems right. Nothing has ever prepared me for this. I don't know how I'm supposed to tell him this. Should I try to make it as light as possible. 'Hey Eric, who has two thumbs and can no longer feel even basic emotions? This girl!' In fact, it's not even the opening, but the aftermath that I'm unprepared for. I can't bring myself to tell him when I know he'll be hurt by this. But I can't just tell him and then run away and leave him to deal by himself. I don't know. Maybe I should just sit him down like I always have and try to explain it all. But how do you explain the sensation of not feeling. How am I supposed to tell him that every hug and kiss has merely been an action to me? That the closest I ever got to feeling was not having an ache in my chest. It will probably break him, but I can't pretend to be fine anymore.

Before I know it, I'm in front of the storage area. He should be here if he's preparing for the attack. From what I understand, they made a scale model of each of the buildings they'll be storming in this room to practice with. But I don't hear anyone inside. Maybe they did some noise blocking? I head inside to find…no one here. Today is supposed to be the beginning of their training. Why aren't any of the teams here? I leave and start heading to the Training Room. Maybe they're doing some regular physical training to prepare first. I start to head up the Pit, rehearsing the talk in my head. I'll try to be as supportive as I can, but I'm still limited. I try to run over all the possible scenarios. I don't think he'll get mad, but he just might. If he does, I'll just have to accept it and apologize. I know I have no control over how I've been, but I could have told him sooner. He might have a slight breakdown, which I don't think is likely, but given the situation just might happen. I really hope that isn't it. I don't want to bring him pain. Or maybe he'll accept it and say we can work through it together. But this is reality and reality is rarely so nice. It'll probably be one of the other two and I don't know which the better, or less horrible, scenario is.

There isn't any noise coming from the Training Room either, but it could just be that there aren't many people in there right now. Or maybe they're taking a break. Either way, I want him to be there, so I can finally get this over with. I open the doors to find…Four. Well, he's a team leader, so I suspected he'd be here, but I didn't think he'd be the only one.

"Is anyone else here?" Maybe everyone did go on break…It's unlikely, but still possible.

"Just me," he says between hits, "Why?"

"I'm looking for Eric. I already tried the storage area, but no one's there." He stops working the bag and comes over.

"I don't know where he is, but I'm not surprised he isn't there. Training had to be delayed by a day, because the sets weren't done." Well, that explains why he isn't there, but where is he now? As I'm trying to piece everything together, Four grabs his water bottle and towel.

"Tell you what, I start my shift at the Control Room in fifteen minutes. If you don't mind waiting for me to get cleaned up, we can find him there." I nod and follow him over to his apartment and wait on the couch. It's like being a lost puppy. Eventually, Four comes out of the shower fully dressed with water glistening in his hair.

"Let's go." I follow him up the Pit and into the Control Room. He taps on someone's shoulder and he takes their chair. As soon as he's sitting, he focuses on the Dauntless cameras.

"Any idea when he left?" What relevancy does that hold? Then I think and realize that it'll probably be easier to retrace Eric's steps than find him now. So many of the places he'd go don't have cameras.

"That would have been around eight?" I see Four pull up footage from the camera that records the outside of our apartment. I watch as Eric leaves and starts down the hall. We go camera to camera following him until he ends up in the storage area. I see everyone else from the teams there and the Dauntless who was in charge of making the sets. He says something and everyone disperses. Eric leaves and heads over to the training room. I see him there, wailing away at the bags as if he's trying to kill this imaginary opponent. In fact, he probably is killing this imaginary opponent. I wait for him to change locations, but he doesn't seem to have any intention of leaving. But then I see someone walk in: Jaya. She strolls over to where he is and starts chatting with him, her face pulled into her usual predatorial smile. As we're watching, I can't help but notice Four freeze; I guess he didn't expect this either. At least this means that he's not in on….whatever this is. I'm giving Eric the benefit of the doubt right now. She starts to run her hands along him, but he keeps looking away from her and moving her hands off. See, he's not doing anything wrong. He heads to the exit and she follows after him and I'm mesmerized by the footage. They stop in the hallway and she's speaking to him with a look of sadness and desperation. Is there anything she won't do? His face softens and he starts talking to her again. Now what does he think he's doing? I can feel cracks form on the barrier encasing my heart. Now they're walking together and then I see them duck into a door. I fast forward the footage to see if he's left yet; he hasn't.

"I'm sorry." Four looks at me with eyes full of pity; he really didn't see this coming. I tell myself that this could totally be innocent. That he could have just gone somewhere with her in order to let her down easily. But that answer isn't good enough. I need to know what's happening now.

"Thanks." I head out the door and over to the one on the screen. It's in the living section of Dauntless; and what innocent act of theirs requires an apartment? I guess I'm going to find out. As soon as I reach the door, I slam it open. Thankfully, it seems they didn't think of locking up behind themselves. They're not in the living room, it seems. The layout is exactly like Christina's apartment, so I head straight to the master bedroom. Inside, I find Jaya…and Eric…in bed…He looks completely and utterly shocked while she, well, isn't taking any pains to hide her triumph. And with that, I feel the barrier on my heart finally break. I guess I don't have to tell Eric anything now, because I can feel again. And the first emotion I get to feel is pure, unadulterated rage. I'm not even trying to hide it as I look upon them with disgust. I turn on my heels and head for the door; if he wants to bed that skank, I'm not going to stop him. I hear Eric jump out of the bed and follow after me.

"Audrey, wait!" I feel him grab my shoulder, but I shrug him off. I don't have time for this bullshit.

"Fuck you!" I whip around and slap him across the face. If anything, he deserves more than that. He's following me out of Jaya's apartment in a bed sheet, that at least warrants a slap and, if I weren't sure he'd stop it, a solid kick to the groin.

"Audrey, I'm sorry." His face and voice are etched with desperation, as he tries to caress my face. I slap his hands away; God, he was probably just touching Jaya like that, too.

"Do not speak to me." I say it with absolution as I turn around again and flee that godforsaken place.

I don't know if I'm walking or running as I head to our—my apartment. There's no way in hell he's staying here. Not after that. As soon as I'm inside, I scream. I don't know what I'm screaming about. It's like everything I should have felt over the last few months is pouring out of me right now and dammit, it fucking hurts. Once it's all out, I'm left with my second emotion: sorrow. I try to fathom how everything I loved has basically burst into flames. I lost my daughter and now I've lost my marriage; it hasn't even been two damn months and we're already so broken. How could things have ended up like this? How could he do that to me? I try to figure it out, but I can't. What drove him to find comfort in the arms of that whore? But then it's not like I offered him any comfort. I try to smack that thought out of my head; I will not take responsibility for his fuckup. And it's not exactly I was in any state to be the rock of our relationship. Yet the voice in my head continues to conspire against me. I just sink against the door of the apartment and sob. Neither of us have done anything to care for our marriage and now it's burned to ash. But the most pathetic part is that some small, desperate part inside me still clings to it; that something inside me would forgive Eric right now and leap into his arms. My heart is warring with itself, divided between rage, sorrow, regret, and desperation. I don't know which is worse: no emotions or all of them at once.

As I wallow in my tears, I hear a knock on the door. I immediately tense up; I am not ready to talk right now. Especially not with _him_. The anger in my heart wins out against all the other emotions right now. The betrayal is too fresh for any other feeling to shine through. I pick myself up off the ground and face the door, hoping that somehow he can feel my gaze and burn underneath it.

"Go away! I don't want to fucking talk to you!"

"You sure, girly?" Varro? I hope he doesn't know. Please don't let him know. I open up the door to see his blue eyes staring back at me.

"I think we could use another talk." He walks in and pulls me into an embrace as I start to sob against him. I hear him shut the door as he leads me over to the couch. He pets my hair and shushes me, like a child. I don't mind, nor do I care. I need comfort right now. It takes a while, but once I start calming down he speaks.

"I knew the boy was an idiot, but I never expected him to be this goddamn stupid." He looks down at me and gives me a fatherly smile. The tears finally stop flowing and I'm left sniffling.

"So you know." I was hoping he didn't. It just makes it all the more real when other people find out.

"I don't let people sleep on my couch without a damn good reason," he says, "But he got demoted to the gym floor by the end of it. And earned himself a good smack from me." He smiles at the mention of a smack and I can't help but laugh. There's something about him that can make even the worst situation better.

"Did he tell you why?" No matter what Eric's reasons were, they'll never be a good enough explanation. But I at least want to know what his train of thought was.

"I think you should hear that from him," he says, "But I'll tell you this much. Men are weak. We can't deal with our own feelings, so we try to hide them away. But when we do that, we become easy to manipulate. The boy's a fool, but he's no villain. He just let himself become weak."

"But I left him like that." The words slip out before I can stop them and I feel fresh tears well up.

"This isn't on you, sweetheart," he says, petting my hair again, "You were working through your own demons. He has to learn to do the same. He just chose the wrong way."

"How'd we become like this?" I feel like there's a million ways to answer that question, but I want to hear what he thinks. Maybe the outside view will make things seem a little less ruined.

"From life, girly. It can do wonderful and terrible things to a person. But you still have to keep trying. It can do something terrible nine times out of ten, but you live for that one wonderful moment." It's dark, but so true. And comforting in its own way. I find myself pulling up and out of his grip.

"Thank you." I'm still angry, depressed, and a thousand other things, but I feel like I can manage them now. Instead of having them pull me around, I'm pulling them in and sorting through them. I will not lose them or become their slave again.

"Anytime, love." He gives me a single kiss on the forehead and gets up to leave. I don't know what I want to do next. But for now, I'm going to wait and find out what's best for me. As much as I want to think of Eric and me as one, that is no longer the case. And I have to decide how much more I can give for us.

"Wait a moment." There's another thing on my mind that I'll need his help with.

"Yes, my dear?" He's looking at me with interest. I guess he didn't expect this.

"I have an idea and need to use the gym for it."

**A/N: Update on Wednesday, professors permitting. Why must midterms exist? And they're not even really midterms! Most classes have 2-3! *crying***


	20. Chapter 20

Varro leaves for the gym to prepare it for my latest plan. I pick myself up off the couch and head over to the closet; I'll need a different set of clothing. I throw on my workout gear; shorts, sports bra, and sneakers, and then head over to the bathroom. As I fix my hair in a ponytail, I look at the face in the mirror before me. I've been in Dauntless not even six months, yet I've changed so much. Grief has etched my face with the beginnings of lines and my eyes don't carry the same amount of spark that they used to. I'll have to change that; I no longer want to be a shadow of myself. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, let it go, and face myself with determination. I can't fix everything, but I'm at least going to settle the first of many grievances right now.

I head through the halls that I was fleeing from barely an hour ago. I stop when I reach the door that started it all and knock. Jaya answers, thankfully, dressed this time. She obviously wasn't expecting me; she raises a quizzical eyebrow before breaking into a smirk.

"Ready to declare my victory?" I'm already seething with rage, but I keep it in. I can let it go later.

"Hardly. I just figured it was time we settled this once and for all." She looks at me, stunned and then breaks into a laugh.

"I take it that's what your little wardrobe change was for. So what, are we going to be racing?"

"No, I had something much livelier in mind. Get changed and follow me." Her eyes narrow and she glares at me. I guess she doesn't like taking orders.

"Shove it, I've already claimed the prize." She goes to shut the door but I block her.

"You haven't claimed jack shit, bitch. I don't see him sleeping in your bed now, do I? So, are you going to come with me or are you a coward." She freezes and locks eyes with me again.

"I'm not a coward. And be ready to lose, skank. Wait here." I stand in the doorway as she goes to her room and returns in the same outfit I saw her in during her fight. I don't need to say anything; she follows me all the way to the gym without a word.

"And what are we doing here?" She asks with an edge to her voice. I open the doors and Varro hands me a pair of fighting gloves.

"Throw these on." I toss her the pair and throw on a pair of my own. "It's about time we settled this. Just you and me, bitch." I stride over to the octagon in the gym. She laughs while pulling on her pair.

"You want to fight me?" She asks with a sneer, "Have you seen my record?" I glare at her through the cage. I don't care about her record. She could have won against every person in Dauntless and I'd still be in here waiting to fight her.

"Get in or run with your tail between your legs, slut." I can see her anger slowly mounting as she enters the ring, all laughter gone from her face. Both of us are going to be taking this very seriously.

"Let's go, bitch."

We immediately start on each other, throwing punches and dodging. I have to hand it to her, she is good. I somehow manage to keep up; all my rage seems to have been converted into determination. It keeps me inline and focused. I don't let it take over and make me wild; I control it and make it my tool.

"You took him from me!" Jaya yells as one of her punches hits me on the right side of the cheek. This pushes my anger to new levels and I strike back.

"He's mine! You're the fucking home wrecker!" One of my kicks hits her right in the stomach. It doesn't even faze her as she moves around and tries to hit my now open side.

"I had him first! You seduced him, you whore!" She smashes her forearm against my mouth. I can taste blood, but that doesn't stop me.

"I didn't have to! He fucking chose me!" I send an elbow into the side of her jaw, opening some space between us.

"You should have just been a goddamn fling! But you just had to get knocked up!" Her knee hits the side of my ribs, but it doesn't sting as much as her words. I don't need that reminder.

"He was the one who chose to stay! He put the ring on my finger! He named our baby! He could have left but he didn't! You took advantage of him!" Each sentence is punctuated with a new strike, the last one being a back fist that lands right on her nose. It starts to bleed, but I don't even think she notices.

"I took back what should have been mine! He should have been mine! All of it should have been mine! He was supposed to love me!" She's throwing hits wildly at this point. Her anger has overridden both her reason and her skill. Her hits have become slow from her desire to strike with as much force as possible. It takes a mere step to the side and shove to send her on her ass, but she doesn't get up. She just sits there and sobs into the wall of the cage.

"I loved him for so long! I gave him everything! All I wanted was for him to love me!" She sinks to the ground, still crying away. This was not the conclusion I was expecting. I was hoping to work out all my rage by smashing her ass, but now…now I just pity her. This isn't right, I shouldn't pity her. She's the one who stole Eric!

_"But," says the tiny voice in my head, "She didn't exactly force him to do anything. He made a choice."_

I find myself slowly gravitating towards her before finally plopping down next to her. I'm still angry, but it's not as sharp as before. And now, I can't help but join her pity party.

"At least he didn't break any promises to you," I say and she turns to me, "He was supposed to love only me." She locks eyes with me and then looks to the ground. I guess she does have some sense of shame.

"At least you got him to love you..." It's just above a whisper, but I hear it loud and clear.

"A whole lot of fucking good that did me." Both of us are staring at the ground like it holds all the answers that we're looking for.

"Guess we both got screwed over." She doesn't look at me when she says it. God help me, I'm identifying with this woman. I want to blame her, hate her as the root of my suffering, but I can't. She wanted Eric, but he was the one who indulged her. It takes a moment before she and I finally look up from the ground.

"I guess so." And without warning, I find us…hugging. This is definitely not the conclusion I had imagined. But this one is almost better; now I don't have that feeling of malice holding me down anymore. Suddenly the door to the gym opens and Eric comes in.

"Varro, I still don't see why I can't be around. If you don't want me here, then—" But he stops in his tracks, mid-sentence as his eyes fall on Jaya and I mid-hug.

"Audrey, Jaya, wha—" He's started to make his way over, but Varro stops him short.

"They're working things out, boy. Leave them be." He looks to Varro and back to us, his face flitting between relief and apprehension. He obviously doesn't know what to do with this news. Jaya and I get up off the ground and dust ourselves off. I finally notice that there's a cut on my lip and I'm pretty sure there's a good bruise forming on my cheek. Jaya's nose has stopped bleeding and she gingerly fingers her ribs. We look to each other than over to Eric; I know it isn't fair, but I haven't completely let go of my anger yet and I don't think I can face him just yet. Jaya seems to have the same look as we both stalk out of the cage.

"Audrey, I—"

"Eric, I don't want to hear it. Not today." I brush past him, my anger mixing with the pain I feel inside. I can't handle that conversation yet. I'll either burst or burn out again.

"Um, Jaya, I—"

"Shove it, asshole." Jaya shoves Eric out of her way and follows me. I guess we do have quite a bit in common. Her response at least reassures me that, whatever happens, I won't have to worry about her going after Eric again and part of me is satisfied. But that doesn't help the parts of me that still don't know if that should be any concern of mine anymore. I need rest. I need space. I need time. Every part of my relationship with Eric has been impetuous and as beautiful and passionate as it was, I don't think I can survive if it stays that way.

I sit in the apartment and try to figure out what I truly desire now. I love Eric; even after what he did, I still do. But every time I think of him, I'm crushed by his betrayal all over again. And I don't know if I can live with that. If I stay, I'll always wonder in the back of my mind if he really loves me. If, when he goes out, he's really going to work or out with friends. I'll always be suspicious and I don't want to live like that. But I can't just let him go. Giving up Eric would be like agreeing to give up light; I could technically live without it, but what kind of life would that be?

I try to sort through my feelings when the door flies open. There's only one person that I know of who does that; Coraline. She walks over to the couch and sits down right next to me.

"What've you been doing?" she asks, her hands flying straight to my face, "Four said you might need me and he wouldn't tell me why. I haven't seen you looking like this since Stage One." I feel her fingers trace over my slightly swollen features and trace the cut on my lip.

"It's a long story…" I don't know where to start. It might as well be from the beginning.

"Let's get you cleaned up first and then we can go into story time," she says with a smile. I can finally feel the warmth of it again, like sunshine after a long, harsh winter. I smile back to her, even though it hurts; I can finally mean it again. She drags me over to the bathroom and cleans off the blood before throwing me into a bathrobe and fixing my hair.

"Alright, tell me this long story." She sits on the couch and listens as I recount everything. My emotional short circuiting, Eric's obsession, his cheating, and finally the fight. To my surprise, she doesn't interrupt me at any point. By the time I'm done, I wonder if her silence is because she's too shocked for words. She stares at me open mouthed for a few seconds before collecting herself.

"That…bastard! How could he do that to you! And don't get me started on that whore! I'm glad you two worked it out, but still, what a slut! I mean, she's not a problem anymore, but she really got off easy! If I could get my hands on her, I'd rip her to shreds! And Eric! What the fuck! You two were perfect! Audric was my OTP and he ruined it! I don't care what he was feeling, it doesn't give him an excuse to fuck around! This whole thing is just so—Gah!" Her outburst is so animated I find myself wanting to laugh.

"He's a fucking idiot! And Audrey, I'm so sorry. I knew you were off, but I figured I would give you some time to work things out on you own. I should have helped more." Her rage has changed into remorse now and she looks ready to cry.

"Don't apologize. I wouldn't have accepted the help anyway. I would have insisted everything was fine," I say as I hold onto her.

"Well, I'm glad you're getting better," she says, "I just wish it had happened differently…"

"I guess I needed something to push me over the edge. A cheating husband would certainly do the trick." I try to smile at the joke, but I find my eyes are filling with tears.

"I'm so sorry Audrey," Coraline says as she strokes my hair, "I've made it clear, I think he's a selfish asshole for doing that to you. But have you thought about what you guys will do now? How do you feel about him?"

"I still love him," I admit to her, "But I don't think I'll ever really get over this. I mean, he was my first boyfriend, my first love, and my husband, but he still did this to me. No matter what, there will always be a hint of doubt in my mind at whatever he does. And we've only been together for about five months. We got together so fast, what if it just wasn't meant to work out?"

"Well you love him," she says, wiping my tears, "That's a start. And you guys did get together quickly, but you two clicked together. I still think that Audric is meant to be, I'm not going to give up on it just yet. And neither should you. I'm not saying to flat out forgive him right away; make him earn it back. But I'm sure he will eventually ear your trust again. You two are just too good together to be apart." She smiles at me and it's both magnetic and contagious.

"Thanks Coraline." She really is the best friend I could ever have. Her smile brightens and she's absolutely glowing now.

"You're welcome, Audrey. Now, to begin the healing process, let's find you some chocolate cake and watch corny movies." Definitely my best friend.

**A/N: I'll be updating Friday unless my MatSci midterm leaves me braindead. Enjoy! Yeah, after that exam, I'm going to have a quick one-woman pity party. Apologies, updating Saturday.**


	21. Chapter 21

Coraline ends up staying the night and I'm glad for the company. I don't think I would be able to sleep without someone with me. But I find that her light frame still isn't able to replace the strong arms I've come to expect. That night, I dream of Eric's hands running through my hair, as if nothing had ever happened. Even when I wake up, I try to force myself back to sleep just to feel them again; I still have too much pride to seek out the real thing. I can't help but feel frustrated with myself. I'd probably slap Eric if he really tried, but every fiber of my being wants to feel him again.

The morning is as uneventful as can be. I get up before Coraline and start making breakfast. I think crepes would be nice for today; light and we still have a bunch of fruit and chocolate among other things. As I cook, I find myself expecting to feel a pair of hands guide themselves around my waist or to feel a kiss on my cheek; it hasn't even been a day and I already know I'm fighting a losing battle against my desires. It doesn't keep me from internally kicking myself, though. I set up the table as Coraline finally exits the bedroom.

"Feel better this time?"

"Not having a hangover is nice," she says, "And you even made crepes! I mean it, you and I should just get married." She gives me a hug and a kiss before rushing to the table and piling crepes on her plate and filling them. As I eat with her, I can't help but think of how much has changed in the last twenty-four hours. This is easily the most I've eaten in probably days. I've been dragged down as low as I've ever been and raised up again thanks to people like her and Varro. But the one person that should have helped the most was my undoing; yup, I'm definitely not going to him anytime soon. He can come to me if he really wants me.

"So, we're both free, what're we doing today?" I haven't given it much thought. With the war, there aren't any house meetings going on and there won't be another leadership meeting until after we've taken out Edward. Paperwork isn't really an issue, so I've mostly been left to my own devices and I've never tried going out before now.

"Maybe exploring?" I haven't wandered around the compound; I've gone out, but never really done anything.

"Awesome, I'll finish up these, then we can get dressed and be on our way." Coraline grabs the last of the crepes as I head over to the bathroom to take a much needed shower. Outside of it, I give myself a quick once over; I'm bruised and the cut on my lip is slowly healing, but I can't help but admire all the damage I took just to fight for what I felt to be mine. Even if everything doesn't work out, I can at least assure myself that I did all I could to make sure it wouldn't be because of anyone but ourselves. I leave the bathroom and head over to the closet just in time for Coraline to rush after me.

"I'm dressing you today!" she shouts, as enthusiastic as ever, "As long as we're going out, you're going to look like the fiery goddess you are." She starts to rip my closet apart as she starts to throw an outfit together.

"This'll remind Eric and every other guy around you're a sex kitten," she says with a smirk. At this point, Coraline is a force of nature and there's no point in arguing with her. I almost agree with her, even. But instead of doing it for the males of Dauntless, I'd rather do this for myself; kind of as a personal reminder that I can look good when I want to.

"I leave myself in your competent hands," I say with a smile and Coraline is practically shrieking with glee.

"I knew you would come around!" She starts piling my arms with clothes and shoes before shoving me back into the bathroom. I laugh to myself as I throw on the outfit that's been given to me. It's when I look at myself in the mirror that I begin to question my decision of trusting Coraline. I didn't even know half of this stuff was in my closet. The shirt isn't really a shirt; it's actually a leather bustier top that zips up the front. The shorts I'm wearing are leather and so short, I think they'd disappear if I were to bend over, but they come up high enough to obscure my Eric tattoo. Finally, I have on heeled knee high boots. I almost don't want to leave the bathroom. Coraline's squealing is what greets me when I finally work up the courage to exit.

"I knew you'd look sexy as fuck in that!" She's practically jumping in place. I can't help but start to redden as I stand before her.

"Yeah, but aren't these a little short?" I tug a bit on the shorts; I'm pretty sure my ass is going to spill out.

"I would be pulling them up!" Coraline cries, "You have a nice ass, flaunt it for once!" I turn a shade deeper as she goes for the cosmetics.

"Now we just need to put on the finishing touches." I let her paint me a new face and I'm not disappointed with the results. She uses all reds; I guess she's pushing seduction today. I find myself caught on my eyes; there's a little more sparkle there than there was yesterday.

"You know, I probably won't even see Eric." He's supposed to be training for the next three days.

"Yeah, but the rest of Dauntless will and he can hear about you from them," she says as she moves onto my hair, "Think of it as poetic justice. And done." My hair is wavy, lazily surrounding my face. It looks both messy, yet elegant at the same time. With the transformation complete, this is easily the sultriest look I've ever had. I look like I'm radiating pheromones and will drag off a man to my lair any second; I'm not just a woman, I'm a man-eater.

"I don't know whether to kill you or kiss you," I say with a laugh.

"Based on the outfit, I think the latter is more likely," Coraline says, laughing, "I'm going to finish up here and then we can head out." She's already thrown on one of my dresses; it's all lace, but the top and sleeves are reminiscent of spider webs. The heels are the same ones she was wearing yesterday; her feet are too small for anything I have. I'm pretty sure she could fit in children's shoes, hers are that delicate. Her eye shadow is a white and purple blend that somehow makes her eyes seem to transition from green to yellow to even blue; she really has mastered most of Christina's fine art. She finishes by placing her ebony hair in a curled ponytail. She looks absolutely divine.

"I think we're both ready now," I say, "Let's go see what we can find."

"Or who," I hear Coraline say under her breath. As we leave the apartment, I almost trip over something.

"What?" I reach down, picking up the bouquet that was left at the door. I breathe in the scent of the lilies and orchids and do all that I can to hold in the tears; there's only one person this could have come from.

"Still want to go?" Coraline asks. She probably would go right back in if I told her to.

"Yeah, just let me put these in some water." I feel like such a sucker, but I can't help it. I love flowers; I don't even know how he got these. They're not exactly common and Amity is only bringing food. But I'm still not going to give in just for a bouquet. I quickly fill a vase with water, glad that we got one as a wedding gift; I wonder if he remembered the vase, so he didn't buy one. I try to beat the thought from my head as I place the bouquet inside and go back to Coraline.

"Come on, you've missed quite a bit," Coraline says, dragging me in the direction of the Pit. She starts to pull me around, pointing out things that have changed. A few bars have temporarily closed while the war's happening, but we still have a few; morale would probably go crashing to the floor if we didn't allow the soldiers to have fun once in a while. That's one of the only reasons why The Club is still open; people need a distraction when they get back and what better one than music and dancing. The rest of the upper levels seem to be the same as always. It's not until we go lower that things change. Because this is where most of the Abnegation are, the change in atmosphere is immediately apparent. There's no longer music coming from every direction, it's fairly silent except for the low buzz of chatter. However the voices cease as soon as Coraline or I come too close to the source.

"Don't mind them, they're just not used to having Dauntless come this close." I smile as I turn to see Natalie approaching Coraline and me.

"Natalie!" I can't help but hug her. I haven't seen her until now. I'm fairly sure I'm going to cry as she holds onto me.

"Hello Audrey," she says as she holds onto me, "I'm glad I finally get to see you. How are you?" She smiles at me and I finally get a good look at her. She seems older now; then again, her people have been threatened for the second time and she's lost a husband. I'd probably age a bit from that, too.

"I'm better now," I say, smiling and trying not to let any tears spill, "I haven't been out much before now." She just gives me a reassuring smile.

"I understand. I heard a bit about what happened. Just know that I'm here for you. But I'll let you get back to your exploratory adventure." She gives me a final hug as Coraline and I start heading back up the Pit. We end up wandering all over, through the shops and restaurants. It's just like the first shopping spree we had. We end up with a few bags in hand as we go around.

"Want to go to The Club?"

"Sure. Let's drop off our things, first." I don't think they'd let us in anyway, saddled like this.

"And I can touch up your hair and make-up," Coraline says with a smile. By the time we get to the doors, the place is already filling up. Coraline and I walk in, and I can't believe how different I feel inside. It's like all the troubles I have are temporarily drowned out by the music. This time, I'm the one dragging Coraline to the dance floor. The whole time we're together, Coraline breaks into laughter every once in a while.

"What's so hilarious?" Did the dance style change or something?

"Nothing," she says through another fit of laughter, "But I think you're going to be getting free drinks tonight." I have no idea what she's talking about.

"What?"

"Look around," she says, indicating everyone around us. I try to nonchalantly look around just to see that there's a couple guys watching us spread throughout the bar; even one of the bartenders is keeping an eye on us. I should be flattered, but all the attention is making me a little uncomfortable. And it's not like I can spin right now; I don't want to leave Coraline alone.

"Maybe you did a little too good of a job on the outfit…"

"No, I just help your natural sexiness shine through," she says with a laugh. We continue to dance together, but I end up keeping an eye on all the guys watching us. But then I suddenly feel someone tap on my shoulder.

"Audrey?" I turn and find myself eye to eye with Ian.

**A/N: Alright, I'm going to be a terrible person and break my promise. I'm sorry, but I can't find that little something inside me that wanted to keep writing. I'm sorry if I'm disappointing anyone and I hope I'll eventually finish this. If I ever get a dose of inspiration, I'll peg it on here. Gomenasai, my dear readers, but this has stopped being a passion and has evolved into just more pressure.**


	22. Chapter 22

Ian's face lights up as my eyes lock with his. I never thought I would see him again; or at least not here. He laughs for a moment, running a hand through his blond hair. I smile back, but I can't help but feel a slight tug in my chest; the last time I saw him, he was at my wedding. And before then, it was telling me about the beautiful girl I was supposed to have.

"Hey there…" He looks like he wants to say something else, but he doesn't seem to be able to think of anything. He stands there for a moment, smiling, but with his mouth partially open as if he's going to says something at any moment. Looking at him, I know there's no way he hasn't heard of what happened; women don't cancel sonograms because they feel like it.

"Hi, Ian. I didn't expect to see you here." I can't think of anything else. But he seems relieved that I've actually said something to him. He chuckles again as his hand goes back to fixing his still-fine hair. I can't help but notice that despite the music in the room, our silence is starting to feel oppressive. But I don't know how to continue. 'Yeah, it's been a while. Sorry I haven't stopped by, but the last time I saw you I had a future daughter and faithful husband. How've you been?' I'm still struggling when he speaks up.

"Yeah, I actually haven't been here in a while. I've been out front acting as a medic." He's starting to smile more naturally now and I find myself following suit. I don't have to make him a relic of the past, reminding me of what I've lost. I can just treat him like a normal person.

"I knew that some of the Erudites have been acting as medics, but I didn't know we had medical personnel helping, too." I really haven't been paying as much attention as I probably should to being a leader. I'll have to work on that, soon.

"At the back where there's less fighting, yes. But for the front, they need medics who can handle weaponry." The hesitance from earlier has disappeared; he seems to be in his element. Now that we both seem to be capable of communicating like normal people, I allow myself a moment to celebrate the fact that I'm actually socializing with someone. It's been too long since I've had a conversation with someone about something that wasn't directly or indirectly related to me. It's liberating to be asking the questions.

"Ah, Doctor Ian, hello!" Coraline pops over my shoulder and extends her hand to him. "Fancy seeing you here." He looks somewhat surprised and then takes her hand.

"Hello, I don't believe I know your name…" He's still smiling, but his eyes indicate that he's internally begging for her to not be someone he should know.

"Ah, I'm Coraline. Audrey told me about you when she saw you at here." I don't miss the small breath that he lets out.

"Well, Coraline, can I interest you and Audrey in a drink?" The smile that he follows it up with is worthy of being in an advertisement. I wonder if doctors give each other free services, because people aren't born with teeth that perfect and sparkling. I look over to Coraline; I would think she'd be up for sharing a drink. She looks over to me and smiles before turning back to Ian.

"Sure thing," she says with a smile, "We'll have whatever you're having. Meet you at that table." She points to an empty booth and Ian nods, leaving in the direction of the bar. Coraline and I sit and she turns to me.

"So…Mr. Sexy Doctor seems to have found you," she says with a smirk, "Maybe this is fate."

"What kind of fate is that?"

"Oh, the stars aligning for you to have a little sexcapade of your own to give you a little more perspective on whether you still want Eric," she continues with her usual devilish grin. She can't be serious.

"No, that's a terrible idea! How will me sleeping with Ian solve anything! I don't even like him that way and using him is unfair…and you don't even know if he likes me like that!" I also don't think I have it in me to cheat; even if we're not together we're still married and I don't feel like turning it into a complete fiasco by having both of us break our vows.

"Okay, he definitely has a thing for you. And you don't have to sleep with him. Maybe test the waters a little…Going out with him a few times isn't that bad, especially if you guys are just friends as you say, right?" I have no idea what train of logic she runs on. But before I can respond, Ian returns with his hands full of drinks.

"Here, Black Fyre," he says, "My favorite, hopefully you guys like it, too." I stare at the drink he hands me. It's pitch dark and fizzing and giving off steam. I don't think I've ever had it before. I take a sip and find that it's warm, spiced, and utterly delicious; I warm up instantly, heat flooding down my throat and in my face.

"How'd you discover this?" Coraline asks. Even I want to know the answer to this question; it's like the perfect balance of alcohol and flavor.

"Friend's the bartender," he says, "He and I made it up one particularly cold winter. Think of it as a sort of secret drink here." He looks particularly pleased with himself. He's grinning exactly like a little boy and I struggle to suppress a giggle.

"Thanks for letting us in on your little secret," I reply with a laugh.

"Just don't tell anyone or I may just have to silence the both of you," Ian says, adopting a serious face. I can't help the laugh that escapes me now. As soon as I catch myself, I see Coraline smiling like the Chesire Cat; I swear, I can see the gears turning behind her eyes.

"Or you could just buy it," Coraline says with a smile. What's she doing now…

"And what would the price of such a thing be?" Ian asks, leaning in.

"Maybe another couple of drinks and a little more of your time," she replies. I don't know whether to let her keep going or gag her. I'm still stuck in my little debate when I hear a telltale opening. No, not this song. Not now, please. But, no, it just has to be "We Found Love." The next thing I know, Ian's arm is around me and his thumb is wiping away at my cheeks.

"Hey, you okay? What's wrong?" It takes his continued wiping for me to realize that I'm crying right now. I can't stand the look that he and Coraline are giving me right now. I don't want anyone to see me this way; I can't keep breaking at the slightest touch.

"I'm fine, it's just…can we leave, please." I try not to make it sound like a plea, but I need some sort of privacy. Even holing up in the girl's bathroom would be better than this.

"Of course," Ian says, practically picking me up, "Come on, let's go." Coraline follows after us as Ian directs me out of the club and to a small enclosure next to it. Once we're outside, I start gulping down air as the tears really start to flow. I don't know how many times I've cursed my own weakness, but this is almost a new low. I'm crying on a half stranger's shoulder over a stupid song!

"It'll be okay," Coraline says, placing a hand on my back, "Want to finish our day at your place?" I can only nod and try to smile as I slowly regain control.

"That sounds great," I say, "And thanks, both of you." I try to laugh it off, even with some mild hiccupping.

"Anytime," Ian says with a smile, "Want me to walk you both back?"

"Sure," Coraline says before I can say anything. I guess she still isn't giving up her plan, "Company sounds great." We walk to my apartment looking like a punk version of Dorothy's band from The Wizard of Oz. As we get closer, I see someone waiting outside the door.

"Well, well, well," Coraline says with a quirk of the eyebrow. Why is Eric just waiting outside? It's not like I changed the locks. And he's not even supposed to be out right now. I see his eyes light up as we come closer, but darken for a moment when he sees Ian. We finally reach the door and it feels almost like a standoff.

"Hey, Audrey, Coraline," Eric says with something of a smile, "_Ian_." The emphasis and slight scowl aren't exactly unexpected but I can't help but bristle at his tone.

"Evening Eric," Ian says, "Just ran into these two at the club and thought I'd walk them back."

"How thoughtful of you, thanks." It's an obvious dismissal, which doesn't escape Ian's notice.

"Well, I'll be going then," he says, "Goodnight, Coraline, Audrey." He gives a quick wave and disappears down the hall. Coraline remains in the hall, arms crossed and glaring, while I'm still trying to process everything.

"Coraline, think I could talk to Audrey?" Coraline just rolls her eyes and turns to me.

"Audrey, want to talk to Eric?" I look between the two and sigh; this is not the time for this.

"Yeah, we'll be a minute." Coraline stalks off into the apartment as Eric and I stand awkwardly together.

"You look stunning tonight," Eric says with a softness I almost forgot he had, "Have fun at the Club?" His tone changes to an edge and I almost can't believe he's doing this.

"Thanks and yes, I had fun. Why? Is that not okay?" How dare he take that sort of tone with me when I haven't even done anything!

"No, I mean…dammit! This isn't how I wanted it to be! I just…I wanted to talk with you…we need to talk…" He's winding down and I can't look in his eyes right now. Not when they're like that; wide open and displaying every vulnerability. It just isn't fair.

"We do need to talk, but not right now…I need time…I need to think…" I try to stare at anything; the ground, the door, just not Eric.

"What do you need to think about? I love you and I'm sorry. I am so goddamn sorry for what I did and I would rather die than do something like that to you again…" Dammit, I can't do this. I want to give in so much, but I just can't. Why can't he see that? I finally look at him to see his eyes swimming with tears and I'm crying again.

"I know that! It's just…sometimes sorry isn't good enough. How can I trust you? About anything? Tell me how? How am I supposed to let you go and not question where you are and what you're doing or with who?"

"I'll do whatever I have to for you to trust me. Anything! Just, please, I'm sorry…I love you, Audrey, please." He wraps me in his arms and I can't take this. It's just too much.

"No, Eric, just…stop," I push out of his embrace and try to put some space between us, "Eric, I really just need some time…please…I'm sorry, too, but…I just can't right now." I duck into the apartment and try not to feel like the coward I am. I collapse against the door as Coraline pulls me onto her shoulder and strokes my hair. I don't check to see if he's still there or if he's left. I can't deal with all this right now.

**A/N: Well, this took quite a while, but I'm back for a little bit. I'm on Thanksgiving Break, so I have the time for once. I'll try to post another chapter by Sunday. Otherwise, if I can't, my next break begins December 20th at the latest. However, that one's a month long, so it works out...kinda... Thanks for being patient, everyone. And thank you so much for the continued support. I can't express how grateful I am for that. I'm still going to list it as on hiatus for now, since school and life are rather turbulent at this point and things can change quickly.**


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